Upsetting reception report

[mia1972]

Hello ladies,

I am sure I am overacting and being 8 months pregnant with hormones all over my body doesn't help but I am having a terrible time with my son's school.

The background is that he is a summer born and very young one. He was moved from his reception class where he had settled well, and this is probably the origin of all of this upset. So the previous school was tiny village school and very nurturing. He was one of 2 boys and we thought it would not work long term so we took a view - probably mistakenly - to move him to a comprehensive down the road where some of his friends were going to help have a broader circle.

What I didn't know is that the new school had 20 boys and 10 girls and some of the boys are quite 'physical' - to cut a long story short, settling in was much more difficult than we envisaged, my son got picked on quite a lot, he got thrown around the playground, teased, excluded. Not by one child but by the group. And no amount of talking to the teacher has made a difference, she denies this is happening at all (although I have seen this in the playground myself and many other parents have expressed concern about the 'vibe'). So you can imagine that this has created quite a settling in process and has affected him. For example I see him walk to some children in the morning in the playground and trying to be friendly and being given the hard shoulder most times.

Now his report today really upset me as there is no acknowledgement of the difficulties he's been having. My son never had social issues before and the report says: 'his social communication skills are improving' and that, given more time they hope he will be able to make friendships. But have marked 'Making relationship' as emerging in his report. In a face to face meeting she told me that his listening was really good, and she has market 'listening' as emerging again. Finally, this one I expected as he is ambidextrous and hasn't chosen a primary hand, writing is also market it down as emerging, despite the huge effort he is putting into this.

As for reading, he reads fluently and by sight level 4-5 books and reads all the time, I had buy so many more books as the school could not keep up. His phonics are good and knows a large amount of tricky words. Reading for her is simply 'expected'. No mention of how much better he reads than the average (I went and read with the class).

I feel completely let down and deflated. Of course he doesn't know this and will never find out but I can't help feeling I made a huge mistake to move him and now there is no way to go back to the old school. I can only hope that the year1 teacher is going to be better at helping him integrate in the social environment. And also recognise that he has some strenghts.

Been sobbing all day and trying to work out if we can pull the finances together to send him to a small private school. I feel a complete failure today as a mom for inflicting this onto a 4 year old who is trying so hard but can't help being so young and new.

Sorry it's a really long post...

Thanks, any advice appreciated.

[Moominmammacat]

Please chill (easier said than done). 20 years ago that could have been my DS in reception .... below expectation in everything, especially scissor skills (really upset at that one). Next term, he starts his PhD. xxx

[nocampinghere]

Primary school reports are mostly written by computer program and/or with a lot of copy and paste in my experience. And mine is a brilliant primary.

Hope the social side settles down. Reception can be a lot of "play" and boisterousness. The age difference between autumn and summer born children is huge. I found this got better in yr1 and completely settles down by yr2 when they have all matured a bit and the days are more focused and calm rather than play based.

[nocampinghere]

oh and yes these days they will always err on the side of under reporting achievement. if they don't they can't report progress which affects ofsted etc.. seriously these teachers have a nightmare balancing act. What a job.

[C0untDucku1a]

I would really put his name down at the original school. Twenty boys in a co-ed class is huge.

[Secretescape]

Emerging, expected and exceeding are the scores that reception staff have to give at the end of reception and are measured against a national standard that is heavily scrutinized and moderated.
A child who is "exceeding" is basically operating at year one standard.
The description for reading exceeding is:

Children can read phonically regular words of more than 1 syllable as well as many irregular but high frequency words. They use phonic, semantic and syntactic knowledge to understand unfamiliar vocabulary. They can describe the main events in the simple stories they have read.

This has to be at a level beyond that which the average reception child can read on a consistent basis.

There are also caveats - if a child is emerging in one area moderators would look for evidence to prove they could be more than emerging in other distinct areas.
Eg if a child is emerging in understanding their reading will be scrutinized as this is dependent on understanding.
Similarly with speaking and any goal that specifies "talking about" learning and understanding.

[allthosewhowanderarenotlost]

Reports are generally written with software which allows for copying and pasting of appropriate statement. This is probably how the report was written due to the slightly generic nature of it. The points about curriculum reflect his end of year results rather than him personally and the statements are selected based on this. If he was emerging in those areas it would be an area for concern also comments about his social skills etc tend to be more personalised.

Boys frequently are not that interested in writing in year one and you could probably accomplish any booster work you wanted through working with him at home.

If there was a concern it would have been flagged in the report, try not to worry.

[allthosewhowanderarenotlost]

Previous post should have said - boys are not that interested in writing in Reception.

[smellyboot]

I'd stick with the school now the move has been made but be on their case to support him. Only days now until summer break. To me even a one form entry school is tiny.(ours is 3 form each year) A class of a handful of children (old school) may help short term, but wont do him any favours long term. Resilience is a key skill too.
My DS is Sept born and has done well in reception. But this time last year he could barely hold a pencil - yet if he was 4 weeks older he would be finshing year one now.
He has mastered all the stuff reception kids have to achieve but thats entirely due to the fact he is old for the year and ready. If he'd been a summer born and in last years reception class he'd have been at the bottom of the class for everything. He'd still be reading the same books as now I'm sure and would be in the bottom reading group not the top..
So throw out the reports and focus on his emotional support etc

[Faithless12]

She has to say he is emerging if he isn't making any friendships and you've acknowledged that he hasn't made any.
Reading by sight does that mean he doesn't use phonics to decode new words? As once again that would mean he is emerging in the early years. Why do you think the school wasn't incapable of keeping up with his reading needs? It sounds as if they didn't believe he should be a higher reading level and so were keeping him on a level they believed was apporiate.