Reception/Foundation Class Teacher won't allow parents in the classroom! Is this normal or am I right to be unhappy?

[oliverae]

Hi,
My daughter is just entering her last six weeks of foundation class at school. The teacher, who I have always felt was quite closed to communication anyway, has now sent out a letter telling parents not to enter the classroom in the mornings. She wants us to send the child in and leave them to hang their coats, book bags etc and choose their lunches by themselves.

I have no issue with my child doing these things and understand they are getting them ready for year 1 but it feels as though as parents we are completely excluded from their class, their world for most of the week.

Does anyone else have this problem? Am I just being clingy? What, if anything should I do?

Thanks!

[zippygeorgeandben]

Thanks for responding clam and yes it is. We shouldn't necessarily stop what is a good idea just for the sake of a couple who don't toe the line. I have wonderful parents who always apologise for wanting to speak to me. Don't apologise, it's my job. :)

[clam]

That's often the issue, though, isn't it, zippy? What seems like a nice idea in theory can get ruined by one or two people taking the mick. Some might say that my school is quite controlled on access, but it's come about over time because there have been a fair few instances of some parents taking unreasonable advantage.

[zippygeorgeandben]

Hello! (first time poster so be nice!)
I've read several pages on this thread, I normally just read but felt compelled to register and put forward a point of view, not necessarily to the OP but the relationship between parents/teacher/school as a whole.
You have to judge each school on a separate basis. Not all systems will work in each individual setting.
Unfortunately, where every cohort of children is different across the country, the same can be said of the parents/carers.
If you spoke to the parents of the children I have taught throughout the years, I think they would say that I was approachable (well that's the word at the school gates I'm told!) This is true and I will always have time at the end of the day for a parent who has a legitimate concern. It would sadden me if I could not make time to allay any genuine fears or concerns a parent may have as at the end of the day, we are both striving towards the same goal i.e. giving their child the best education they could hope for. What happens when they move year group isn't up to me, but I know I have done what I need to.
I do however how a parent this year who is taking advantage. Deliberately picking up late and then using this to have a chat with me about things which aren't essential/important. She actually interrupted a scheduled sit down meeting I had with a parent last week to ask me a question.
Last week, I tackled this explaining how I felt that she was deliberately late picking up her DD to then use up time to discuss matters which aren't relevant and then disturbing a meeting with another parent about a sensitive issue was not acceptable. She denied this but I told her firmly that it wasn't fair on the other 29 children or me whose parents would also love to ask me x, y, z. I've not been disturbed since.
I sound unapproachable now don't I, but I really am!
Our school tried 'drop in' sessions for parents from 3pm each term (look at displays, watch singing sessions etc) but this didn't really work as children with childminders didn't get picked up until 330pm and they would become unsettled.
Plus we had to cover up all our teacher academic information on children as once a parent was caught red-handed looking through everyone's books!

[redautumnleaves]

My dd's school seems more relaxed then. She is in reception and parents are allowed in until 8.55am. I like it as it makes it feel less harsh and we can look at the work the children have been doing and make sure water bottles are filled etc. I think they are so little still that a little bit of helping with putting coats on pegs and making sure book bags are in the right place doesn't do any harm. They have plenty of opportunity to be independent during the rest of the school day.

[ChocolateWombat]

Schools ask parents not to come in because it fosters independence - hanging up their own coat, putting their lunch box in the rack etc. they also do it because prolonged goodbyes can be upsetting. And regardless of what parents think, if parents are in, the teacher isn't above to give their full focus to the children and the start of the day is delayed. Parents will ALWAYS try to have a quick word and a teacher cannot have that quick word (which may well be 5 or 6 quick words each morning... Or more) and be ensuring a smooth start to the morning.

OP - is it the being told by school what you can and can't do that has upset you? You need to get used to it - it is on their terms, not yours..

[undoubtedly]

You're being clingy.

It's extremely disruptive, as a class teacher, to have parents hanging about in the classroom in the morning. A class never really gets settled until the parents have gone.

How long do the parents usually stay? As soon as the teacher is in the room I would expect them to scarper. If I had parents who didn't do this, I would take steps to more clearly tell them that they need to not be in the room.

[Etak15]

No not a village school it's big school has 3 classes in each yr, very small classrooms too I'm sure it must not comply with fire regulations so many people in such a small space!!!

[PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom]

That sounds bonkers Etak!

I think that the only things you need to talk to the teacher about in the morning are very brief messages. I do find it useful that she comes into the playground for that type of thing rather than handing over at the gate. But I'm talking about stuff like "Philippa is going to tea at Daisy's house tonight, so Daisy's Dad has authority to collect her". Not long winded discussions on progress is phonics.

[IKnowRight]

Oh god the hell that is Reception in the mornings... dds' school has 90 per year and Reception is one huge room with toilets and storage in the middle. Can you imagine 90 children, their parent(s), sibling(s), all the buggies, bags etc that comes with that - coupled with the school's insistence (thankfully stopping next term due to change in head) that children have indoor shoes that they change into before they go into the classroom... I can see why it's only allowed for a short while, I'm not sure how long it is at our school as mine go to breakfast club anyway but I know it finished before Christmas. It's utterly horrible and stressful for the adults and must be confusing and bewildering for the children. If you need to speak to a teacher you can make an appointment, ours will often call you whilst the children are at break / lunch if that suits.

I'm afraid you are being a bit clingy imo. The important thing is whether your child is happy with the change, if it's upsetting you but your child is fine then that is your problem (and I mean that kindly, we all have wobbles, it's hard to let go). You'll find your child getting more and more independent now anyway.

[Mopmay]

Another 750 DC school here in old building with narrow corridors. Parents only in for the first 6 weeks of reception - it's bedlam with buggies and parents staying for ages!!

[Devora]

I"m sure the size of the school - and the classes - is the key issue here. Our school has 750 children. That is a LOT of parents to get in and out of a narrow corridor.

But I agree with you, Etak, your school's system sounds mad. Is it a small village school?

[leccybill]

Completely normal. I haven't been into DD's reception class since the end of week 1 in September.
And I've only ever needed to have a early morning brief word with the teacher once when DD's grandmother died suddenly in the night on the last day of term before Christmas.

You see some parents chatting away to the TA on the door about how their precious one was a bit tired after a late night/didn't eat much of their breakfast/was a bit worried about swimming that night and all sorts of other nonsense.

[caitlinohara]

I can understand that the issue for some schools is sheer logistics. Ours is a small school. I should also add that parents only go into class in the morning - in the afternoon they wait outside class or in the playground and the teacher lets the kids out when they can see the parent. That's probably because children can arrive in the morning at any time between 8:40 and 9:00 and in the afternoon they all need to be picked up at the same time, so it's busier.

I agree that most of the time there is no need to escort your child into class, but being told you can't seems heavy handed unless there are genuine issues with space.

[Heels99]

Yes if ever I have something to discuss with teacher, which I rarely do, I just send a note with my child.

[noramum]

In lots of schools it is the sheer need for practicality. Often schools have very narrow corridors, small areas for cloakrooms and in Junior schools/KS2 stages classrooms can be on an upper level.

How would that work in a school with 2+ classes of 30 children each? Our Junior school has 2 entrances for 9 classes but still it is a tight squeeze.

In lots of cases it would mean start of school day is delayed as parents do not leave in time.

Our school is open and approachable. The head is normally on the playground in the morning and happy to speak to any parent. Teacher prefer to speak to parents at pick up as it makes it easier to get the children settled in time and more privacy for the parent as well. I never felt I am missing something. If I really have to tell something to the teacher first thing in the morning I leave a note with DD who is perfectly able to pass it on. In YR-Y2 at Infant we could meet the teacher in the playground but a Y3 child is independent enough.

[Heels99]

You have separation anxiety. You feel you are excluded from your childs life by her being at school.
Could you join the pta or volunteer to help in school in a positive way? It may help

[caitlinohara]

I am so surprised at this thread! At our school it's completely normal for parents to accompany their child into class. My eldest is in Y3 and I still go in with him maybe once a week if there is something I need to ask/tell the teacher. It's not unusual at all. My Y1 child likes me to go in with him most days because he likes to show me things that he has done etc. I don't bother the teacher unless I have to because obviously they don't want to be having a chat with 30 mums or dads every day.

I'm really surprised that the school feels the need to actively manage the situation by telling parents not to come in. It seems overly formal to me and I would feel the same as the OP - not because I feel the need to hold my kids' hands and mollycoddle them but because it goes against the notion I have of a school being an open, friendly and welcoming place.

[WhenMarnieWasThere]

No parents in Reception classroom/cloakrooms at all in my daughter's primary.

Nursery started to phase it in for the last few weeks of the year so they got used to it.

Never bothered me.

[Buttercup27]

Absolutely completely normal. We allow no parents into the school building what so ever unless they have signed in at reception.
This stops hundreds of people wandering around the school looking for water bottles/jumpers/lunch boxes etc. If you have lots of adults wandering in and out its difficult to keep track of who is who and any random stranger could potentially walk in.
From a safeguarding position it is a good thing to have a secure building.

[howtodrainyourflagon]

Normal. All of my dc have lined up outside the classroom from day one, and learned to hang their own bags on their pegs.

[slippermaiden]

Mine are just finishing year two. Parents mostly all go into the classroom to say hello to the teacher, pass on any messages and kiss child goodbye!

[TeacupDrama]

really odd
we went in classroom on first day took a few photos, next day leave at school door by week 2 leave at gate and wait at gate until taken inside again teacher brings to gate at home time.

older children are just let out of school and know to go back if no-one there
however it's a small village school of about 90

but even in busy city school I think YR children should be left at school door or whereever by end of first term

[clam]

"But it means you can chat to the teacher if you need to."

Sorry, but as a teacher, I don't want to be chatted to by parents in the run up to a very busy and hectic working day, when I'm preparing last-minute bits and pieces for the class. If it's very important, then either make an appointment for after school, when I have more time to help, or drop a note in, either to me or the office. If it's a run-down of what your child had for breakfast (and yes, there are parents who want to share this kind of thing!) or when your child last saw their un-named sweatshirt, then please no!

[NoParking]

The pre-school my dd2 goes to asks that the 3 and 4 year olds come in unaccompanied (two year olds and new starters can have a carer walk them in if they want). It works well, the 3 and 4 year olds get some help with coats, shoes etc if they need it (and they very cutely help each other) and are proud to be independent.

So walking in a YR child after the first day seems like a recipe for prolonged and tearful goodbyes to me.

[Etak15]

Read this with interest at our school dd1 is yr 2 and dd2 is f2 they encourage u to be at school at 8:45 and then so a 'morning job' with your child until 9. I have always found this to be very strange but when mentioning it at school to other mums or teachers at parents evening everyone seems to like it and then I feel evil like I just want to dump my kids and run!! But I think staying with them encourages clingyness - when it gets to 9 dd2 doesnt want me to leave - gets v upset etc if we haven't finished the task but is never enough time because I have to do it in two different classrooms and I also have a toddler and baby in tow too!! Also for working parents that have to shoot off to work I think it leaves them feeling guilty that they can't stay till 9 when they shouldn't have to feel guilty about working hard to provide for there family! And also I think crying and clinging to mum is contaigious once one of them starts they're all at it a classroom full of crying children - what a great way to start the day!! So I think hanging their coats up with them and kissing goodbye at the door would be a good thing!!