Hello all,
I would welcome any thoughts on the following issue. Apologies in advance about the length of my post.
DD is a June baby so she is one of the youngest (thought not the youngest) in her Reception class. Her school is ranked Outstanding and has a reputation for being quite pushy. They have a very small number of students with special needs and students who come from minority/ non British backgrounds.
Let me say right away that DD can be challenging to deal with. She is very sweet and affectionate, she loves the company of both grown ups and children, and LOVES attention. But she simply will not abandon an activity of her choosing for another which she may find boring or unpleasant.
Reward charts and time outs don't really work with her.
Her teacher has been telling me pretty much from the start that she doesn't do as she is told. I asked her to give DD some time to adjust to school life since she has had very little nursery experience. She gave her a month and then said she needed "extra help " (basically senco, but they call her the "inclusion teacher").
The first thing the inclusion teacher tells me is DD has a speech delay and a delay in her expressive language. Not "might have", but "has" a delay. I am shell shocked at this point because DD is very chatty and confident, and I never thought she had a speech delay. Anyway, I am quiet and don't argue at all, and simply go home and book an appointment with the GP and we are currently on the waiting list for a NHS assessment. Meanwhile I know something just isn't right. So I find a private speech therapist. She is fully qualified, and works for the NHS during the week, and privately during the w/e. She meets DD and has a 90 minutes session. She thinks DD is absolutely fine. No delay whatsoever. She says she is confident that no NHS therapist would find a single thing wrong with her.
DD does have an issue with paying attention and doing as she is told, so the therapist suggested ways in which parents and teachers could help. For instance by placing her closest to the teacher at carpet time (she currently sits in the back corner).
So I gave Dd's teacher the report written by the therapist, and she has been avoiding me ever since. She no longer greets me at the door, and avoids making eye contact with me , even when I am standing right there at drop off and pick up time. I am giving it until the end of the week, and then I am going to ask her if she read the report.
I can't shake off the feeling she wants DD to have special needs, because she doesn't want to deal with her and to give the inclusion teacher something to do, since there are extremely few true SEN children in school. I think she is resentful that I hired a private therapist and dared to question their "diagnosis" of DD's "delay". I feel that when the NHS therapist says DD doesn't have a speech delay, they will find something else wrong with her.
I believe DD is emotionally immature, but I don't see a reason why she would not outgrow her current behavior. Is it really necessary to "medicalise" and put labels on a child who is simply disobedient? DD doesn't exhibit any violent tendencies, she has never had an argument with another child at school. She has learned to raise her hand if she has a question ( which is a big thing for her), so she does not disrupt the class while the teacher is talking. She is very slowly but surely learning the school routines. Even her teacher admits she has improved since September, but she is not improving fast enough.
What are your thoughts?
Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.
Primary education
Help: Reception Teacher unhappy with DD
whichway · 11/11/2014 14:38
whichway · 11/11/2014 14:38
Hello all,
I would welcome any thoughts on the following issue. Apologies in advance about the length of my post.
DD is a June baby so she is one of the youngest (thought not the youngest) in her Reception class. Her school is ranked Outstanding and has a reputation for being quite pushy. They have a very small number of students with special needs and students who come from minority/ non British backgrounds.
Let me say right away that DD can be challenging to deal with. She is very sweet and affectionate, she loves the company of both grown ups and children, and LOVES attention. But she simply will not abandon an activity of her choosing for another which she may find boring or unpleasant.
Reward charts and time outs don't really work with her.
Her teacher has been telling me pretty much from the start that she doesn't do as she is told. I asked her to give DD some time to adjust to school life since she has had very little nursery experience. She gave her a month and then said she needed "extra help " (basically senco, but they call her the "inclusion teacher").
The first thing the inclusion teacher tells me is DD has a speech delay and a delay in her expressive language. Not "might have", but "has" a delay. I am shell shocked at this point because DD is very chatty and confident, and I never thought she had a speech delay. Anyway, I am quiet and don't argue at all, and simply go home and book an appointment with the GP and we are currently on the waiting list for a NHS assessment. Meanwhile I know something just isn't right. So I find a private speech therapist. She is fully qualified, and works for the NHS during the week, and privately during the w/e. She meets DD and has a 90 minutes session. She thinks DD is absolutely fine. No delay whatsoever. She says she is confident that no NHS therapist would find a single thing wrong with her.
DD does have an issue with paying attention and doing as she is told, so the therapist suggested ways in which parents and teachers could help. For instance by placing her closest to the teacher at carpet time (she currently sits in the back corner).
So I gave Dd's teacher the report written by the therapist, and she has been avoiding me ever since. She no longer greets me at the door, and avoids making eye contact with me , even when I am standing right there at drop off and pick up time. I am giving it until the end of the week, and then I am going to ask her if she read the report.
I can't shake off the feeling she wants DD to have special needs, because she doesn't want to deal with her and to give the inclusion teacher something to do, since there are extremely few true SEN children in school. I think she is resentful that I hired a private therapist and dared to question their "diagnosis" of DD's "delay". I feel that when the NHS therapist says DD doesn't have a speech delay, they will find something else wrong with her.
I believe DD is emotionally immature, but I don't see a reason why she would not outgrow her current behavior. Is it really necessary to "medicalise" and put labels on a child who is simply disobedient? DD doesn't exhibit any violent tendencies, she has never had an argument with another child at school. She has learned to raise her hand if she has a question ( which is a big thing for her), so she does not disrupt the class while the teacher is talking. She is very slowly but surely learning the school routines. Even her teacher admits she has improved since September, but she is not improving fast enough.
What are your thoughts?
This reply has been deleted
This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.
Kta7 · 12/04/2023 22:10
Tbf it sounds like the original ‘bumper’ might be in a similar position and is keen to find out how things progressed.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.