The Y6 teacher reluctantly gave me an appointment to see her. I had to ask twice, a week apart, before she'd give the appointment and then wait a further 10 days for her to find time to see me. The appointment was set for a Monday after school, just before the February half-term.
Things were getting worse and worse for DS, and I took to asking him every day how things were. The Friday before the appointment was another bad day. I told DS is the car going home that I was going to see the teacher the following Monday.
He started begging me (on his knees) not to do it. He said she's take it out on him. I was at my wits end, so I called the HT when I got home. I was beyond furious that this situation had been allowed to deteriorate so much and, frankly, DS needed the HT's assurances that there would be no comeback on him if we were to have any kind of peace that weekend.
The HT heard what i said but she was giving very bland assurances. This made me even angrier as I felt she was not taking it seriously, so I said that I'd bring an official complaint if it wasn't resolved soon.
That Monday afternoon, I finally met the teacher. She was on a charm offensive, totally unlike her regular persona that I'd encountered previously.
I was also allowed to look at Ds's books for the first time (even though i had asked to see them weeks earlier). All the things that DS had said were there but she'd gone through and later written additional comments that softened things or at least met some of the basic requirements (such as saying what DS needed to do to improve).
I could tell the comments had been added later because the first comment was written in the middle of the space and the second was squeezed in at the bottom, or a different (green) pen had been used for the two comments that were supposed to have been written at the same time. I pretended not to notice.
My reading of the situation was that DS had been telling the truth and he had not been overreacting. However, the teacher clearly had realised that she would have to stop and that going forward, I'd be watching closely. So, although I would have rather Ds hadn't had to go through it, I couldn't change the past and things would be better going forward.
The other Y6 teacher (who was also present at the meeting) offered to take Ds aside and speak encouragingly to him, which she later did and it helped.
The teacher, managed to be civil to DS from then on. He just became a normal member of the class and he didn't feel singled out any longer. However, (unbelievably!), she turned her attentions onto me! I used to volunteer in the school - but nothing to do with her - and she took the opportunity to say a few unpleasant, and unnecessary things to me in the next few months. The worst was when she strongly implied that i was a negligent parent for not having taught DS about sex (that was in front of another parent and the school secretary - so there were witnesses).
She later retired (before my other child got to her class).
Ds was never the same again though. Something changed in him at that time . Ever since then, he gets anxious easily and he lacks self-confidence even now, nearly three years later. He still does well academically, but he doesn't have the self-belief any more.
I know people change as they grow up, but I really believe that this has had a long lasting, negative impact on my son. If I could go back and have my time again, I would intervene much sooner and take the risk of looking like a helicopter parent.
