Worried about 2-night camping trip

[PastSellByDate]

Our dd brought home a letter from the school about a proposed 2-night trip at an outdoor adventure centre. The school said they'd have a meeting for parents - but this was in fact held in front of our children. The trip will cost £130 and involves 2 nights staying away from home.

The teacher organising this trip had prepared an extremely glossy video about the previous year's trip and got all the school children excited about the prospect of this camping trip next year. However, the school never approached us parents first about our support for such an expensive trip - nor did they seek our permission about offering a field trip which involves 2 nights staying away from home. The teacher said that the children would not be allowed contact with home during the 3 days they're away.

Our DD is very interested in going - but we're unsure. Although I'm sure the kids would have a great time, and we know they have done this trip at this centre before, I can't help feel that 8 is a bit young for 2 nights away from home.

Am I just being an old fuddy-duddy? Do other schools do this kind of thing in the first weeks of Y4?

[madwomanintheattic]

it's quite common. most of the kids know that there is a yr4 field trip and so can't wait to get into yr4 to go on it, round here.

it's probably not camping though, is it? they'll be staying in a centre. (that said, we take our 8yo cubs away for two nights camping sans parents, so it wouldn't bother me particularly. just that the school version is usually more of a dormitory affair.

8 is absolutely normal for two nights away from home. any child that's been in brownies or cubs/ beavers whatever will probably have done a couple of nights away at 7yo. at least once.

if the child has sn the centres are usually well versed at dealing, but any particular anxieties should be discussed with the teacher. any nt child shouldn't have an issue, really.

[spanieleyes]

Certainly, our trip for next years, 4/5/6's is already planned and booked for October, so the current year 3's will be off then! I'm not sure why they would seek your permission to offer it, you can always say no to going. Presumably if they showed a video of last years trip this is a regular event for year 4's so not unexpected?

[seeker]

Can you say what you're worried about? I think most of us with older children have done this, so we'll be able to reassure you if you can say what your concerns are.

[Bunbaker]

Our school offers two night Kingswood trips from year 3.

"However, the school never approached us parents first about our support for such an expensive trip - nor did they seek our permission about offering a field trip which involves 2 nights staying away from home"

Why would they need to do that? We don't get approached first. DD simply brings a letter home from school. That said, she has never been to Kingswood because she just doesn't want to go, but she is in a very small minority.

[BoattoBolivia]

My dd's school start with 2 nights away in year 3 and my school start in year2! The price you quote is fairly normal. My dd loved it last year and is really looking forward to this year's trip. When we go to an 'outdoor centre', it is scout/ guide camp, but we use a dormitory hut, rather than camp, and the kids are all shut in with us at night.
The not contact parents is vital- it would be a disaster if they could all ring home and complain about every tiny issue. Imagine if they rang their teacher every time they didn't want to go to bed when you told them! also, you will get some who get a bit homesick and phoning parents will make them much much worse. Trust me, in 18 years of teaching, I have never had a child who was easily distracted and subsequently really enjoyed their trip.
On the rare occasion when a child has been sick, we have contacted the parents, and in fact were near enough for him to be collected.
If it is a regular thing, they will have already provisionally booked the places as the good centres are fully booked long in advance. They need to fill all the places, as the costs will have been calculated using those numbers, fewer children will mean the costs go up, hence the glossy presentation.
Questions to ask:
what are the sleeping arrangements?
What activities are they doing?
Who is leading them and how are they qualified?
What is the pupil to staff ratio?
Do they have an extra member of staff over the legal limit to cover if a child is ill and needs to be left out of and activity?

[mummytime]

At my DCs school it is know that they will have a one night sleep over in year 3; 2 nights camping at a Scout camp in year 4; 3 nights further away at an activity centre in year 5; 4 nights about 200 miles away in year 6. £130 doesn't sound bad to me, depending on the activities, transport, accommodation and the outside staff involved.
These trips have been going on, with very few changes over 10 years. So I really wouldn't expect them to ask parents first. In fact they are mentioned at prospective parent meetings.

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

DD did four nights away when she was 7 and had the time of her life. No parental contact was essentail (although one child did take and destroy an iPhone).
The only stipulation the school made of the parents was to be contactable and able to reach the centre in three hours.
We were living in central Switzerland then and the trip was to the south.
DD did absailing, rock climbing, ropes courses, kayaking etc and was very cheesed off that she wouldn't be able to do it again.

[PastSellByDate]

Dear all:

Thanks for reassuring me that this is a perfectly normal thing for 8 year old kids to be doing and that £130 isn't outrageous. I've been worrying about this since the wee hours, because friends from nursery at other schools here aren't doing this kind of thing and two said they'd never ever let their kid go on something like this. My teacher friends said that they view residential trips as something for 11+ children - as part of GCSE of Duke of Edinburgh and thought 8 was too young.

I'm not sure what we'll decide in the end - but your comments are a great help.

Thanks

[seeker]

I think it depends on the child too. My dd would have been able to fly sooner than she could ahve spent two nights away from home at 8 (or at 10, come to that). But Ds was cheerfully waving me goodbye at Beaver camp at 7.

If she wants to go let her. It'll be health and safetied within an inch of its life and she'll have a ball.

[Annelongditton]

DD's school have same arrangements as Mummytime's school, so I think this is normal for many schools. DD is distraught because she is only allowed to take one cuddly, I would never attempt a holiday without her collection of favourites and her special blanket. Her teacher is immovable and says that choosing one cuddly is all about growing up and making decisions. I think the trip will be good for DD and me, because she is growing up and I do tend to baby her too much (she is the youngest and only girl).
Good luck with your decision.

[treas]

My dd in yr3 has just returned from an activities residental trip which was for 5 days and so was away for 4 nights.

It was the best thing that she could have ever done as for as she is concerned and as parents dh and I have noticed how much more independent, confident and self-assured she is.

I have to say that I personally got highly irritated with parents who kept on spouting about how 8 year olds were too young to be away from home from so long. Actually, it was the children of these parents that benefitted the most from the trip.

Mind you it was easy for me to let my child go on the trip as I had been away on a very similar trip when I was 8 y. o.

[vintageteacups]

Our school have a yr 3 trip to a YHA place and a Y4 trip to York (again to a YHA place).

They too tell the kids all about it first and the school purposefully leaves out the sleeping arrangements at the first parents meeting (as I waffled on before) as they are rooms next to the public with unlocked doors.

Them once yuo've paid, they have a meeting discussing the actual details; still not explaining the actual sleeping details unless they're asked!

For that reason, DD has not gone either year but we don't care.

You should do what you feel right but I imagine a specialist school centre will have better arrangements than our school's and will in fact have only your school staying.

Can you tell I'm bitter about it ?

[PastSellByDate]

Dear all:

very useful comments and I so get that I should let my DD have an opporutnity to develop her independence. I do ultimatley want her to develop into a confident and independent young woman one day. We've got to start somewhere.

Fortunately sleeping arrangements are in a dormitory that will only be used for the kids - with girls and boys areas allocated and strictly controlled.

My DD is adventurous and outdoorsy - so I begin to think that I'm just an old fuddy duddy about this. I didn't go on an overnight before I was 10 - so it seems a bit young for me - but that was the 1970s - kids grow up faster these days.

Thanks everybody.

[lemonmousse]

Regarding the 'no contact with home' issue - apart from the teacher having to take responsibilty for 20 or so mobile phones can you imagine the uproar of 'Mummy, I don't like it, I want to come home' text or call at 11.30 at night? Then by midnight they're sound as a top (while Mummy doesn't sleep a wink!) and wake up the next day all excited about the day ahead.

Having been on several overnight visits there is usually at least one child who gets a bit upset/homesick but IME it never lasts long and they do get all the reassurance they need.

[lemonmousse]

I should add that my DD2 (10) is off to France next month for a week with school and I am dreading it. She's really excited and looking forward to it so I am trying to maintain my 'enthusiastic-won't it be great' smile but I will be snivelling like a baby when she goes

[southofthethames]

You're not the only one. I agree with you. There are two problems - 1) parents who have low income (imagine if you have three kids, that's nearly 500 quid you are forking out before having to buy them clothes, waterproofs and amenities, etc to go) and 2) parents concerned about safety. Many families find it hard enough to keep an eye on 4 kids aged 8-12 on a camp site, never mind a whole class with just a few teachers. Then it is "sold" to the kids as "it will be the most brilliant thing ever" meaning that any parent who says no will disappoint their child (even if the trip isn't that brilliant)..... Before anyone says "but parents on benefits/very low incomes can get financial help or fill out forms for grants!" what about parents who aren't very poor but still need to watch their pennies.

What's wrong with visiting the county zoo/farm/aquarium/museum/art gallery/concert/theatre etc?

[mummytime]

It is very very different if it is a school trip, well at least at my kids school. It is not a public campsite/activity centre, and there is security for the whole site. There are a lot of adults accompanying the group, mixture of teachers/TAs/student teachers and parents for local ones, with activity centre staff instead of parents for longer ones (although a couple of parents usually accompany). The kids are also better behaved, and by this time of year very well known by their parents.

My kids school also do Zoo, Aquarium, theatre etc. trips throughout the year. There is a hardship fund, and fun activities planned for the kids who don't go. Although the costs for the first two are really low (especially as the camping one often cuts transport costs by using parents to suppliment a bus).

They do group up and learn a lot of life skills on such trips, but then I also send mine to Brownie Camp etc. As I value these kinds of trips.

[diabolo]

The kids at my DS's school go to a place called Hilltop for 2 nights, and have the opportunity to go from Sept of Y4 and every year thereafter if they wish.

They love it. Please let yours go, it is so good for developing a sense of independence.

Obviously there can be no home contact (unless in an emergency), as one poster said above, looking after 80 mobile phones on behalf of kids is not viable and WHY WOULD THEY WANT TO CONTACT YOU ANYWAY? They're far too busy having fun.

[MissPB]

If it helps - I remember going away for a weekend (2 nights) to London when I was 7 or 8 and this was early 1980s. My school was in Manchester so a trip to London was big deal at that age. I can imagine when my DD is at the age to go on an overnight trip I will have kittens the whole time she is away but I am telling myself that a parent's job is to bring up your children so they are able to leave you......waaah

[FarFarAway]

My DD2, 5 years, has just had a school trip away for 3 nights and four days and had a fabulous time. It was in specific centre with qualified staff, little dorms for 3/4 kids.Two parents (one who is a nurse), 2 teachers assiatants and the teacher accompanied the trip. We were given the mobile number of all these people and the right to phone between 8 and 9pm and speak with them but not the kids.
She was actually ill on the trip too with an ear infection and fever. Member of staff from the centre took her to a doctor and got her antibiotics and she was absolutely fine about all this. Teacher rang to say she was ill and then the next morning to say she had passed a good night and seemed better in the morning. I am not in the UK though so not sure if this makes a difference. At 8 years I think it sounds like an even more excitng and fabulous trip.

[Poppyella]

My dd has gone on a school trip for 1 night in year 1, and will do the same in a couple of weeks in year 2. My ds did 3 nights in year 4. DS has also done cub camp and a PGL aged 8 for 3 nights.

They LOVE it. It didn't even cross my mind that they would want to speak to me (or I them for that matter!) because they would be having far too much fun, and were with all their friends.

It's great for their independence, and if your child is on the shy/anxious side, hopefully seeing all the others having a great time will allow them to see that they can have fun away from mummy and daddy.

[Northumberlandlass]

DS (7) Year 2, has just done a 1 night at Kingswood in the last couple of months with Beavers. He was away from 9am on the Sat and we picked him up at 2pm on Sunday.

He absolutely loved it, wasn't bothered he couldn't speak to me, all he complained about was that he didn't get enough food !

They are planning another trip in Sept and since he will be a Cub then he can stay for 2 nights.....

I have to say, I was anxious but that was only because it was the first time he has ever stayed away without family etc. I tried really hard not to let him see and really encouraged his excitment.

[pinkhebe]

my 2 have done cub camps (2 - 7 nights since they were yr3) and it's 'the best fun ever'

[TheCowardlyLion]

Good grief! DS had two nights away from home on a PGL trip in Year 2! and absolutely loved it. He would have been crushed if he hadn't been allowed to go. This year, they had two nights in Yorkshire and he has cub camp for two nights in June (he is now in Year 3). It is so good for them! (and for you).