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Preteens

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Original poster

10 yr old started period today.. questions..

146 replies

dol89 · 16/04/2024 23:23

Hi, my daughter turnt 10 literally 6 days ago. She came home from school today and told me she had blood when she wiped.. when we got home I confirmed she started her period.
I am absolutely distraught, she is so little. She's my first and only baby and I've never had to do this before so I have a few questions for parents with children that have recently gone through this.
It's been a long time since I started so I can't remember.

Will this be a proper period?
Will it ease in slowly?
Will she have a period every month now or will it go and come back later on?

Anything else you think would help would be appreciated, I'm so upset 😭

OP posts:
Upinthenightagain · 16/04/2024 23:25

No way of telling really. She could start monthly or you may find she had the one and doesn’t have another for a year ( this is what happened to me) or something inbetween all that.
sympathy though I’d be upset as well. My dd is ten and dread it starting.

TheShellBeach · 16/04/2024 23:26

Did she know that it could happen?

Danikm151 · 16/04/2024 23:26

I was 10 when I started my periods.
every girl is different, it may be monthly now but also it may take a while to settle.

explain to her what periods are- show her how to use pads (or maybe some period knickers)

Don’t show her how upset you are.

goldenretrievermum5 · 16/04/2024 23:27

At least for DD her first period was very short and light. They do tend to be quite irregular for the first year or two and DD would typically go around 3 months between periods. Between her first and second though it was closer to 6! It did concern me a bit but spoke to GP who reassured me that it was all normal and things would regulate eventually, which they did.

Please don’t show that you are upset to her. What she is going through is perfectly normal and to be expected, no drama needed

BlackStrayCat · 16/04/2024 23:30

DD had a "period" at 10. I was shocked. Then nothing for 2 years. Only at 14/15 it is regular.

Doctor said it was a "warning sign" and that it not a proper period. But a good sign all is well!

Original poster
dol89 · 16/04/2024 23:32

She hasn't seen me be upset, I got upset when I told my partner but hid that from her.
Yes she knows all about periods but I never dreamt it would be this soon.
She hasn't started developing anywhere else so thought I had a few years left.
I get that's it's normal but like I said a week ago she was 9, It's a horrible feeling it just seems so young.
I've took her to town and brought a bag to take pads into school & I've shown her how to use etc..

Would any of you inform the school or is that not needed?
Thanks for replies!

OP posts:
Wolfpa · 16/04/2024 23:33

I would say that 10 is normal these days, were you able to prepare her?

who knows what will happen next, it could be regular it could disappear for a couple of months.

create a small kit to go in her school bag so she is prepared for the future.

BarbieKew · 16/04/2024 23:33

Oh bless her, and you, that is pretty young - though it seems far more common in primary age girls than it used to be.

My daughter was 12. Her first few were quite light and far apart but that’s not the case for everyone. Get her stocked up with some pads and also consider period pants. There are some good age appropriate books on Amazon. I chatted about it to my daughter in quite a casual way, luckily she’s sailing through it and is very open about it all. I really feel for you but it will all be ok 💐

Wolfpa · 16/04/2024 23:34

No need to inform the school, it is non of their business

bingoringo4 · 16/04/2024 23:36

Ahh I totally get your pain. I cried my eyes out when my first dd started hers and she was 12, my second was 13. It's confirmation that they are no longer your little girl 😪 I have 4 daughters my 3rd is 10 next month and I've got a feeling she will start her's this year and the thought makes me so sad 😞 she seems so young, she still plays with dolls I'm actually dreading the day. I can't answer your questions because I can't remember (dds are adults now) how theirs went but I think they are quite irregular at first.

Opine · 16/04/2024 23:39

My daughter was 8 when she had her first period. It was quite light and lasted 5 or 6 days. Thereafter they were very regular.

Period knickers weren’t a thing then so she had to learn how to use pads. I dint give her the option of tampons. She started using them at 16/17 of her own accord.

Period pants are a good option now. My nieces and friend’s children all swear by them.

AllTheChaos · 16/04/2024 23:41

I feel for you, this is usual in my family so I’m sort of expecting it any time with DD. Their are some great period pants now that are aimed at teens, that can save the fuss of pads, or be used in conjunction with them. You could always go in for a quiet face to face private chat with her class teacher, it may help for them to know if for instance DD is having issues with cramps, or seems bothered and in need of support. Do discus with your Dd first though, as this her privacy and choice. If the teacher is female, you could always suggest to Dd that the teacher will know what she’s going through if she needs to talk to someone about it during the school day.
Based on the women in my family (whose experiences I assume aren’t that unusual!) generally the first year or so the periods aren’t as bad as they can be later. No blood clots for instance until a bit later on.
Good luck, I am sure it will all be fine, but I know I will be worrying when the time comes too!

MsInterpret · 16/04/2024 23:42

Can be helpful to inform class teacher if you think useful for them to know eg toilet breaks, make sure your daughter knows where sanitary bins are etc and how to use.

So, not always necessary but can be helpful, also eg if going on trip or residential and it's likely to come.

lollipoprainbow · 16/04/2024 23:42

Period pants have been a godsend for my dd11. She's autistic and these have worked really well and she's coping brilliantly.

pizzaHeart · 16/04/2024 23:44

I would mention it at school. She might bleed thorough her clothes or it might be painful or she might struggle with putting a pad or she might lost them. She will need to take this small bag to the toilet so it will raise questions anyway.
My DD used Lillets at the very beginning as they are smaller. Her periods were all over the place in the first year. The first few were very long so she was prescribed tranexamic acid by GP, they settled after a year.

Blondeshavemorefun · 16/04/2024 23:45

Why upset ? It's normal

I was 10.5. Xmas day. Hence why remember so well !!!

I would mention to the class teacher as she may be one of the first but also incase has sore tummy /more tearful etx

Fargo79 · 16/04/2024 23:48

Blondeshavemorefun · 16/04/2024 23:45

Why upset ? It's normal

I was 10.5. Xmas day. Hence why remember so well !!!

I would mention to the class teacher as she may be one of the first but also incase has sore tummy /more tearful etx

I'd be upset if this was my DD. I have always hated periods and suffered terribly with them during my teens and early twenties. Even now I just hate the faff of them and find them a huge inconvenience. I'd be gutted for my DD if she had to start dealing with this at primary school.

It's perfectly fine and normal for OP to feel as she does.

goldenretrievermum5 · 16/04/2024 23:54

Fargo79 · 16/04/2024 23:48

I'd be upset if this was my DD. I have always hated periods and suffered terribly with them during my teens and early twenties. Even now I just hate the faff of them and find them a huge inconvenience. I'd be gutted for my DD if she had to start dealing with this at primary school.

It's perfectly fine and normal for OP to feel as she does.

Show quote history

It’s not normal or fine - sending out the message to your DD (they pick up on these things whether you mean to or not) that starting her period is something to fear and get upset over is completely wrong. A really negative and bizarre attitude to a natural part of growing up

I fully agree with you @Blondeshavemorefun

Opine · 17/04/2024 00:01

It’s fine to feel sadness that your DD will have to manage periods at such a young age. It’s not fine to project negative feelings about menstruation.

I don’t think OP is doing the latter but lots of women are very strange about periods and definitely transfer this negativity into their daughters.

I bought my DD a piece of jewellery to ‘celebrate’. I tried to make it feel like a special occasion because actually it really is.

RamblingAroundTheInternet · 17/04/2024 00:04

We informed the school when DD started just before she was 11 at the start of Yr6. She was the first in her year that she and the school were aware of. I asked to speak to the pastoral lead (female) and we told the school purely so she didn’t need to worry about getting up in lessons if she felt she needed to change her pad, was uncomfortable or had cramping.

IIRC she had use of a toilet used by teachers that had a disposal bin so she could sort herself out without feeling self conscious about other kids coming in the loos. That was about 13 years ago. Not sure if primary schools have towel bins in the loos now?

She had a little pencil case type bag with a change of underwear, a few nappy bags for soiled undies, pads and toilet wipes she kept in her school bag.

Hers were quite regular from the start but very light as were mine but all girls are different so best to be prepared for any eventuality.

Mine had a few books on periods and the reproductive system designed for young girls already as got them the year before so she had them if she wasn’t sure of anything and didn’t want to ask.

Don’t let her see you’re upset. I was a bit shocked with mine as expected it to be a bit later but I looked on it as a bit of a celebration that marked her growing up, took her for a celebratory lunch and bought her a necklace! Maybe a bit over the top but I just wanted it to be different from experience of starting my periods with my mother which was to hide it and be made to feel embarrassed and dirty.

Blondeshavemorefun · 17/04/2024 03:43

Excatly @goldenretrievermum5

Normal every day life

If op shows upset etx then the dd is going to have a negative exp over something that is normal @Fargo79

Yes slightly early but then again friends dd was 8 and but puberty very early and on drugs to slow down

HeadsShouldersTitsandArse · 17/04/2024 03:55

Can I ask, and it’s no criticism or judgement - Why is it so upsetting that she may have started her period at 10? Some children get periods as young as 8, it’s just part of puberty and is completely natural.

My DD is only 4 so we’ve got a few years yet so I guess that’s why I don’t understand why it would make you feel distraught. I sort of understand the element of it being an emotional thing, they’re growing up ect. But to use the words distraught is what’s confused me.

Genuine question for anyone who feels the same to give me any kind of answer

mathanxiety · 17/04/2024 05:07

I'd tell her class teacher so that she can be excused to go to the loo if she needs to change a pad. Some schools have draconian policies around bathroom use during class, and it can be incredibly upsetting and distracting for a child to have to sit in the classroom when she really needs to change a pad.

Bootoagoose123 · 17/04/2024 06:23

As a Y6 teacher it was always helpful to know - I just kept an eye on them and had spares of various bits and bobs in case they needed them.

KomodoOhno · 17/04/2024 06:27

I started at 10 so did my dd. But very sporadic the first couple of years. I hope she has a easy time of it. I was so sad for my dd just for the hassle of it. At 13 she's still not very regular.