Help around house....12 and 10 year olds

[hypermum1]

Hi all. How much do your children help
Out around the house? Mine are driving me crazy! All they want to do is sit around on the x box. When I ask them to do the smallest of jobs all hell breaks lose! They are both quite mature and more than capable but they are lazy! So, do other peoples kids help out??!!

[BellaVida]

My lot are all under 12 and know they have to pitch in, as we are a large family and there is always loads to do. They:-

• vacuum
  
• tidy rooms
  
• change sheets, duvet etc
  
• load & unload dishwasher
  
• take washing to laundry room
  
• sort & fold laundry
  
• lay & clear table
  
• help with cooking & make own snacks
  

-get own breakfast

• feed & help clean out pets
  

I think that's enough as they have schoolwork, clubs, sports, music.

[BertrandRussell]

My children are members of a community. If you live in a community you contribute to it to the limits of your capability.

In my opinion, a NT 12 year old should be able to do practically anything round the house that an adult can- I suppose with the exception of very complicated cooking.

It's not a matter of being a servant- it's a matter of living together and sharing the work, the fun and everything else that goes with being part of a family.

[riodances27]

The only thing that worked for my 14/10/9 year old is no computer TV unless room is clean. If there are more than two things on the floor in their room or shoes/coats not put away, I pull the plug out of the tv and take away devices until its done. If they moan about it they get a warning to stop or all devices until the rest of the day.

I had to learn how to spend my time enforcing consistency rather than picking it up after them.

I still have a long way to go with other issues, like the bathroom, but I'll spare mumsnet the sordid details.

[JustDanceAddict]

Oh and sometimes DD will cook as well.

[JustDanceAddict]

11 & 13 here & they are supposed to
Keep room tidy - this is hit and miss!!
Bring dirty clothes to laundry basket - most of time
Take their plates to worktop - most of time
Hang up their clothes - hit and miss as I get fed up with clothes strewn everywere and do it myself
Clean hair out of shower - this is for DD and she does it now
If I ask them to do something they usually do it without too much grumbling like emptying dishwasher or clearing up.
They will occasionally hoover, dust, etc. if I ask as well.
I would say they are better at cleanign tasks than putting shoes in cupboard, etc as they come in from school and drop all their crap in the hall!!

[NotdeadyetBOING]

Reading this thread has made me realise what a total door mat I am being with my DCs. They do nothing. Much eye-rolling if asked to tidy their rooms, pick towels off the bathroom floor or empty bath. Rooms are a tip. I try to insist that they take their piles of clean clothes and put them away, but that's a struggle. I need to turn things around fast. Easier said than done with a v. highly strung pre-teen.

[LeaLeander]

If mine gave me backtalk about ordinary chores while playing on xbox, the xbox would be at the charity shop the next day and all the other screens in the house would be unplugged or disabled indefinitely.

My mother made housecleaning a fun game from when we were quite small; we liked playing "maid" and learned how to clean and cook, do laundry and maintain an orderly household in an entertaining way. So we never balked at helping with these tasks at any age and I'm hard pressed to understand why anyone puts up with kids who will not do their share.

[RookieMonster]

Smaller bodies fit up the chimneys easier anyway.

[Cabawill]

Mine are 6 and 4 and are always asking to help. Hope this continues! They don't get pocket money but every day they:

Make their beds, open curtains, put dirty clothes in the basket, clear their places and put their plates etc in the dishwasher, put toys away, hang up coats and put shoes in cupboard.

They ask to and can (with supervision): put the dishwasher on, put the liquid and softener in the washing machine, select the programme and set it off, 6 year old can Hoover and both dust/ wipe surfaces.

I just see it as we all muck in together so we get more fun time to spend. If I'm constantly picking up after them then I have less time to play.

[Soooosie]

Non of my sisters were taught/had chores and they were all lazy feckers. Couldn't make a sandwich and lived in a pig sty

[Soooosie]

13 and 11 year old here.

Daily One unloads and loads dishwasher

Other sticks the Hoover/brushes round the living areas and wipes the dining table/kitchen surfaces daily

No screen time until jobs complete

They also make their beds, hang towels after showers, tidy toys away daily.

Big job on weekend. Washing car together, cooking family meal together or sorting the garden out together. Maybe an hour and a half for which they get £5 pocket money

[worriedmumred]

11, 8, 6

All help load/unload dishwasher
Unload/load washing machine
Feed cat
Put away their own washing
Help clean out car and wash outside
11 yr old has a go at cutting grass and hoovering
Things like putting loo roll on when needed
Laying table
Putting shopping away
General help tidying up their own crap
Not much really!

No whinging allowed

[Moln]

They can do everything. Empty bins, wash up, put a wash on, vacuum, clean the bathroom, cook and so on. The 12 year old can iron. I've shown them all things. They might not do them that well but there's time for improvement; they also don't do them as a set chore but will if asked.

[Mamamoose1]

Dancergirl-I agree!

[Mamamoose1]

My 9 year old is responsible for keeping his room tidy and his bed made, he puts his empty lunch box and water bottle on the kitchen every day after school and school related letters for me to read. He brings down his dirty washing/cups every morning, sets the table, feeds the cats some mornings and also helps out a fair bit with his baby sister and younger brother, in all honesty he chooses to do that without me asking. He doesn't do a lot compared to a lot of children on this thread, but as he gets a bit older, I will add other responsibilities for him. I think it's important to strike a balance!

[Warmworm]

Mine keep their rooms clean, make their sandwiches for school, and empty the dishwasher. They also do instrument practice every night. If they do all that they get £5 pocket money each.

It's great, it really helps me and its part of their routine now so no moaning or anything.

[Dancergirl]

Personally I disagree with the notion that if you don't teach them young they'll turn into lazy feckless adults.

I didn't do much around the house when I was young, yet I managed to cook, clean and look after myself when it was necessary.

I'm not saying children should do nothing, I teach my dc that we're a family and we all muck in together. However I think children work much harder at school than they used to and are under more pressure. And I also believe that there should be plenty of time for children to mill around and daydream etc.

It's about balance. Of course children should help out a bit but some are doing too much.

[BoboChic]

Both my DSSs are at university and have absolutely no difficulties at all taking care of themselves . It's hardly rocket science to cook, clean and do laundry - it doesn't require years of laborious training, but rather clear standard setting.

[Headmelt]

Bobo, that's both hilarious and ridiculous. I can imagine all the tribunals around the world . How will children fend for themselves if you don't teach them until they start earning a wage? What if they don't work in paid work until after university, is that still slave labour?

[TheLesserSpottedBee]

I genuinely believed I was raising two children to be capable adults but now I realise, thanks to Bobo that I am in fact raising servants

So in Bobo's house, when exactly do the children begin to learn how to do these chores?

[Tinseleverywhere]

I think kids should help, it's good for them to have responsibilities. I don't do strict lists of chores though. I like my dd to do her own room and I try to give her the more fun and easy jobs. She likes to do a bit of cooking. I'm not the world's best housewife though so things do get procrastinated by me and I don't feel I can tell dd off for what I do myself.

[5madthings]

Madthing2 is 13 and madthing3 is 11 today. Like their siblings they are expected to pitch in as and when asked. So stuff like setting abd clearing table, sorting laundry, hoovering etc all age appropriate stuff. Washing up, drying up and basic cooking. They get their own bfast in yhe mornings and will get their own lunch.

General stuff like picking up after themselves, emptying lunch boxes, sorting uniforms and pe kits and keeping bedrooms tidy is expected then other stuff is as an when required, we don't have a set job routine but they are expected to help when asked.

The rule in this house is we all make the mess so we all have to help tidy up.


Pmsl at the child labour comment.

I have four boys and a daughter. They are all learning general household organisation, cooking etc as they are life skills. I am their parent not their servant so we all help each other.

[wonderpants]

I was trying to explain to my pre-teen kids that if they get to 16 and are unable to manage basic life skills like washing, ironing, cooking and taking care of oneself, I have failed as a parent. They have a few years to learn and practice.
They grunted back at me!

[Samantha28]

Children are not servants , they should not be asked to do general household chores

So what if you are not rich enough to have servants , who does the aforementioned household chores ?

[maybebabybee]

My mum used to make me empty the dishwasher and hoover the living room. Is better contact the police immediately - had no idea she was using me as child labour!

Thanks for enlightening me, bobo.