Failed by midwife?

[Shannoncn7]

I'm 39 weeks pregnant with my second baby and have been pushing for vbac birth. My midwife has assured me all the way that this is a low risk pregnancy and should be fine, however she measured me yesterday and said my baby hadn't grown since last app. She booked me a scan at the hospital for today.
Today they scanned me and baby is nearly 3lb heavier than she had estimated and now they want me to have a c section again.
I had multiple issues with my first pregnancy, placenta previa, diabetes and another big baby at 10lb. Placenta moved last minute had 4 failed inductions then emergency c section, midwife knew all of this... How has she gotten it soo wrong?

I've refused the c section and asked to be induced instead, doctor has said we can try but chances are the c section will be necessary... I just don't know what to do now. So upset and angry. Has anyone been through something similar?

[Maggiesfarm]

@Dotoallasyouwouldbedoneby

For both your sakes, please accept the C-Section. Safe arrival is the priority.

I agree with that and I am someone who would avoid a C-section if at all possible.

Shannon in your case I think a section would be the right thing. Yours and your baby's health are the most important factors here.

[Asherline]

@Shannoncn7 I agree that it's a failure how you feel now so unsure and unconfident, whatever is right for you you should be certain it's the best for you and your baby.
My first had shoulder distocia. 2nd I was confident picking a water birth, then he got stuck and I said that's what happened with the first and I got blared said I should have never been given the option of a water birth it was awful. But that could have put my baby at risk and I never knew so to me was a failure.

For you having an emergency c section is the worst scenario really hope you get some better support

[MangoSeason]

@DGFB

Can’t believe you’re not accepting the caesarean. I get so cross that people would put their babies at risk like this.

I have tried unsuccessfully for a VBAC and then a VBA2C. The risk that the baby dies is slightly higher for a VBAC. The risk of the mother dying, an actual already existing human being, is slightly higher for a C-section. We are talking very, very low figures for both here.

This is sarcasm, btw- “Can’t believe you are not definitely trying for a VBAC. I get so cross that mothers would risk leaving their children motherless like this”

OP, a tough one and you have all my sympathy. Ignore the sanctimonious posters like this one.

[StoppinBy]

If you want a VBAC then I would avoid the induction.

They cannot force you to have either a c/s or an induction.

I had an attempted VBAC with my second, had a lot of doctor pressure to conform to the expected and book a c/s but I didn't. In the end my labour was another long, drawn out, painful and no progression labour but I am 100% glad I did it.

I did have a very precise plan for a c/s written out should it end there rather than a natural birth. I had almost immediate skin to skin - no wrapped up baby the second time round and the baby was left with me the whole time through recovery etc.

My scan also predicted a big baby.... mine was born completely average, 7pd3.

[stopchewingeverything]

Obviously I only know what you have written on here but to offer a midwife's perspective. Fundal height is only an approximation and is pretty inaccurate but it is the best tool we have in a clinic setting. I don't think she has done anything wrong with this. She referred you when she had concerns. Have you seen a consultant or specialist VBAC midwife at any point in your pregnancy? You should have done and it is they that really should have discussed in detail any additional care that you need and the additional risks in your pregnancy. They should have called for the notes from your previous pregnancy and gone over what happened and likelihood of reoccurance etc. If you haven't been referred then I think you should put in a complaint. In regards to discussing induction, I personally would only raise protocols either if specifically asked or if it looked like we needed to book one. I wouldn't discuss in advance of this as it often isn't necessary and uses up time in a consultation where we can discuss more relevant things. I would recommend discussing this with PALS though so feedback can be given to the maternity team.

[Milliepossum]

OP I had 2 planned sections due to no other option, the thing that made me feel less anxious was knowing all the necessary medical staff and equipment were already in the room if there was a problem. Please talk through the process with your doctor and get more information that way. Compression garments can also help with the tummy afterwards when you go home. Good luck with everything.

[Crikeycroc]

I’m sorry this has all unfolded in such a shocking way right at the very end of your pregnancy.

I think it sounds like your midwife assured you a VBAC was a possibility whereas a doctor has told you that it shouldn’t have been an option at all due to complications from your first birth? You mentioned placenta previa (which self resolved) and gestational diabetes but what other complications was the doctor referring to? These wouldn’t usually exclude you from attempting a VBAC. I wonder if maybe you have received incorrect info or someone has explained it poorly to you.

[StrictlyAFemaleFemale]

Thanks all for explaining fundal height. Helps explain why they kept saying dd would be about 3.3 kgs. She was 4.2 and I couldnt understand how they missed nearly a whole kg.

I dont think youve been lied to. I think her professional estimation is different to the drs. And yes maybe something went wrong in the communication.

[Blogdog]

Hi OP - I understand why you are so angry and disappointed. It was very clearly a failure to manage your expectations. I also had a horrendous first labour which ended in an emergency c-section. With DS2 I wanted to try for a VBAC and the hospital was supportive but also made it clear what the odds were, and the set of circumstances under which they would not recommend it. So I went in with my eyes open. It sounds like your midwife could have managed things better.

Incidentally, I know medical advice changes, but at that time under no circumstances would my hospital induce anyone who had had a prior section due to the risk of uterine rupture. With your history I would be very wary of going for induction.

Lastly, I know I speak from the privileged position of having had a VBAC, but it really isn’t the holy grail. As an experience it is overrated, and I had far more problems with my episiotomy than from the c section. Try not to get hung up on it - a safe and healthy baby and mother is far more important.

[50ShadesOfCatholic]

It's such an emotional time and you have a lot of expectations and worries/hopes to manage.

I think just try to give yourself a day or two to absorb the new advice and then make a decision. I know you feel disappointed now but you might find that changes in a day or two.

[stopchewingeverything]

Apologies, also meant to say that your midwife making out that this pregnancy was completely low risk and treat it like your first was totally inappropriate. I would actually report this as it does sound like she may need additional training.

[CovidCorvid]

*
She said she is happy to wait 2 weeks past my due date, only for my doctor to tell me they would never let me go over because of previous complications.

From what you’ve said here I’d have thought she was right (and I’m a midwife). None of the complications in a previous pregnancy which you’ve mentioned are reason for not letting you go over your due date. Doctors aren’t always right you know. Where I work we now have a midwife run induction clinic and doctors have to run their induction decisions past the induction midwife…..they’re not all agreed to.

[Hissysnake]

@Givemebackmylilo

You've not been failed and IMHO you're stupid to consider an induction

I agree with this.

I've been in your position. I had a failed induction with my first baby. He was distressed because the contractions were too strong on the drip and lying in the wrong position. I had an EMCS.

I was advised to have an planned csection my every professional I saw. I had to see a consultant at 20 weeks and 32 weeks because of my previous section. I was advised against an induction at all costs and was offered the option of going naturally or a planned section.

As it was, I had pre-eclampsia in my second pregnancy and needed to have my planned section earlier because of it. My second baby was also in the wrong position, so I would have never been able to have him vaginally.

[Mumto3thatsme]

@Shannoncn7

I feel failed because
I have had to remind my midwife multiple times that I had a c section previously including at yesterday's appointment!

She has not informed me of the different way previous c section women have to be induced (balloon)

She has continually said this is a low risk pregnancy and we are treating this baby as of my first????

She said she is happy to wait 2 weeks past my due date, only for my doctor to tell me they would never let me go over because of previous complications.

The above are why I feel failed by my midwife, the rug has been pulled from under my feet today and I don't feel supported. I don't feel like o was fully informed of all possibilities and this is where she has failed me. I came here looking for support and understanding and maybe find someone who had been through something similar. Not to to be told I am a fool or taking risks with my baby, with the information I have been told for the past 39 weeks, there wasn't a risk. This was all backed by my midwife. Thanks for understanding and turning on a concerned mother who is clearly upset. Women at their finest.

Some of the responses here have been really cruel, absolutely no need to turn on another woman like has happened at times here.

It does seem you’ve been misled, just by having a scar on your uterus automatically puts you into a higher risk category.
You do still have options, and if you are keen for Vbac you need a discussion with someone who can help you explore your choices and come up with the best birthing plan for you.
Definitely ask for a referral to the birth choices clinic or consultant midwife

[EarlGreywithLemon]

I can understand the worry about the C section recovery OP, but to give you a different perspective - not all vaginal birth recoveries are straightforward.
The two ladies in my NCT group who had C sections were recovered long before me, and I was still hobbling about and dealing with all sorts of issues three months after the birth. I had failed ventouse, forceps, episiotomy, a 3b tear, and a 2.3l PPH - and I wasn’t the only one. A fellow NCT-er had the same minus the PPH, and her baby was born not breathing (fine now thankfully). I was in hospital for 5 days, had a transfusion, on painkillers and could only sit down on a gutter cushion until 3 months after the birth. My bladder didn’t “wake up” because it was so bruised from the birth and there was nerve damage. I went home with a leg bag, and was in and out of hospital appointments for the first week with leaky catheters . I was readmitted for a night a week in for suspected urine retention. No one could explain what was happening or guarantee that I wasn’t going to be incontinent for life. My stitches got infected and gaped. My back gave in because my pelvic floor was so wrecked and I had horrible spasms - I struggled to pick my daughter in and out of her Moses basket and pram. I didn’t go to any baby groups for months because I couldn’t put her on the floor or sit on the floor myself. It took months of women’s physio before it improved.
We’re TTC at the moment and if I’m lucky enough to get pregnant it’s an ELCS all the way. I know I’ll have a toddler, but I can plan for the C section recovery and know that at least I won’t be left with a catalogue of issues - I’m still leaking urine now on a regular basis but feel I got away lightly considering the outlook at the beginning.
Very very best of luck OP, you’ve got this, and you’ll soon have your lovely baby in your arms!

[Mummyme87]

The being low risk is an interesting outlook from your midwife agreed, and the comment ‘being treated like it’s your first’.. that’s likely with regards to your body has never done this before so it’s like a first baby.
Induction 4 times is an odd term of phrase, you had four pessaries maybe?
And your midwife cannot give you every single potential outcome as that’s crazy, actually impossible. She probably should have discussed VBAC a bit more with you, did you not see a doctor earlier in you’re pregnancy to discuss mode of delivery? Or attend a VBAC clinic?

There are different ways of inducing VBACs, I had prostaglandin pessary, I made a decision for me and it worked well, but much less common. We lean more towards Dilapan rods now, some places use balloons more. Balloon and Dilapan are mechanical so stretch your cervix as opposed to giving you medication to change your cervix. If you are very keen on VBAC and happy to be induced, balloon won’t increase your risk of rupture so a happy medium, and also only in for 12-24hours, can often go home and should be able to sleep

[Wolfiefan]

At each stage you’ve been given their professional opinion based on the information they had available.
I get that you’re really disappointed but this is not the fault of the midwife. Birth isn’t predictable.

[Babyiskickingmyribs]

They can’t do a balloon induction until the cervix is dilated enough to get the balloon in. It doesn’t need to be very open at all, maybe 1cm? you’re dr or midwife will be able to tell you. But if the cervix is still completely closed it won’t be an option.

[Horehound]

I don't see how you've been failed.

I'd personally be going for c section based on the size of baby and the advice given to you

[Horehound]

Also you had 4 failed inductions the first time so why do you think that's a good option this time?

[Flowerpot28]

Hi I just wanted to say this was my exact situation my second is now 3weeks today. Throughout my whole pregnancy consultants were pushing me to have another csection as my first was almost 10pounds and the risk of uterine rapture. Instead I pushed for a induction as I wanted a VBAC due to a better recovery and also wanted to experience birth/labour. Anyways they admitted me at 39 weeks the balloon induction failed then I had the pessary my waters broke and I went on to have a successful VBAC. Despite all these scans saying my second was just as big or bigger. Dc actually came out soo much smaller and a “regular size” new born. Wishing you the best and hope you have a great outcome, you know your body don’t let them pressure you

[Flomoon]

It sounds like the midwife was supportive of your wishes throughout, and then referred you for a scan when they had concerns, I think it's unfair to say that they failed you. If you feel the information given throughout pregnancy was incorrect then that's different, but I am sure if they had kept saying ah you'll probably need a section anyway why bother going through all this VBAC stuff you'd also feel failed.

Appreciate its a shock, but if you do opt for a planned section, many people find them a lot less stressful than having to have an emergency one following failed induction, and recovery time might be quick.

Personally I'd concentrate on going forwards now, decide what you are going to do and make sure you get the info you need. If after birth you feel like it would be beneficial, at that point feedback.

[50ShadesOfCatholic]

@DGFB

Can’t believe you’re not accepting the caesarean. I get so cross that people would put their babies at risk like this.

You get cross then, more fool you. The OP is entitled to make an informed decision about her baby's birth.

[50ShadesOfCatholic]

@Givemebackmylilo

You've not been failed and IMHO you're stupid to consider an induction

What a cruel and unnecessary post. Do you get a kick out of bullying the vulnerable?

[81Byerley]

The important thing is that you have a healthy baby, and that the birth is safe, however that happens. You need to take the advice of the professionals.