Did you find out the sex of your baby?

[TeddyIsaHe]

Dp and I are currently in a discussion re finding out the sex of our (currently imaginary) baby.

I found out with Dd. I was beyond certain she was a girl from the moment I conceived I just had to know! I’m erring on the side of surprise this time. I just think the ‘it’s a girl/boy!’ moment after birth would be lovely to experience!

[Wecandothis99]

It's a surprise whenever you find out

[peachypetite]

Husband won’t be allowed at the 20 week scan either so there’s especially no way I’d find out myself first, alone.

[YourMumsChestHair]

We waited for birth and ended up having to have an EMCS due to the size of DD (and a few other issues)

Anyway after a long, long labour when the surgeon held our DD up to my husband who said ‘Hello our agreed girl Name, your mum has been waiting for you’ was honestly one of the best moments in my life. He doesn’t remember it now, but I will remember it when I’m grey and old sentimental sod

[2020Aug]

I'm currently 29 weeks and we haven't found out. I'm so excited to find out at the birth and want my husband to be the one to tell me.

[Lostinbooksandcoffee]

I didn't find out with either of mine. I preferred it that way.

[firstimemamma]

He likes to know and I like the surprise idea so we compromised. Found out with ds and the next time we have a baby we'll leave it as a surprise. Then we've both got what we wanted, seems fair.

Tbh it didn't really feel much like a compromise on my part anyway as I was one of those women who just knew the sex if the baby as soon as I found out I was pregnant. It didn't really feel like 'finding out' to me, just confirmation of what I already knew.

[userabcname]

Ds1 we found out - so glad we did because it was so exciting and lovely. We could start to refer to him as "he" and it all made it feel a bit more real. Also the birth was an absolute shit show and I was totally beyond feeling anything other than pain and exhaustion (plus I ended up in theatre for 6 hours under GA immediately after) so I'm glad we didn't wait til then.
Ds2 we wanted to find out. Had a private scan which said boy and then the 20w scan where we were told girl! So we didn't actually know and he was a boy.
If we had another I definitely wouldn't pay for a private scan again - it was a pretty crap experience and I wasn't hugely impressed. I would ask at the 20w scan but be a bit cautious as it can be wrong.

[RingaRosie]

No, it will be out only child, so we want the surprise. It will keep me going during birth! I really have no preference either way...
The baby is just busy being a baby right now, growing & getting ready to here, so I haven’t ascribed any personality or expectations.

[custardbear]

Both times yes. For me it's the binding I did and all those thoughts and dreams about my future Dd and DS - really feel it helped me to bond

[Keepingcomfy]

I've always been adamant that I wouldn't want to find out and now I'm pregnant with my first baby I feel even stronger about not knowing.

I think hearing my DP say 'it's a ....' when they're born will be amazing. And let's be honest, once the job is done that's about all that's left for the dad/partner do

[SpillTheTeaa]

No I didn't. I wanted the surprise. The midwives held him up when he was born so I could see the gender. It was lovely.
I had no desire to find out in all honesty and had to keep reminding them when I went for scans not please not let the gender be revealed. Midwives are more shocked now when you don't find out what you're having. 😂

[LisaSimpsonsbff]

I found out for what seems to be the opposite reason that everyone assumes - I didn't care but wanted other people to shut up about the sex! The attempting to guess with old wives' nonsense drove me mad and I was delighted to put a stop to it at 20 weeks; I couldn't have borne it for another 20!

[Lavenderpurple]

I didn’t find out with dc1. Pregnant again and I won’t be finding out. Finding out after giving birth is just such a wonderful feeling. I’m convinced this one is a girl though.

[Mucklowe]

We found out, partly because we just wanted to know, but mainly because we're Jewish and would have needed to sort out a circumcision if it had been a boy.

[Sleepyquest]

I agree with @Dyra
It was really hard having to wait but as it got closer and closer, our excitement grew and I think it made me push harder haha. There was about 20 seconds after DD was born where I was just waiting for DH to tell me and it was amazing! I say 20 seconds but I have no idea as time was weirdly both fast and slow.

[Ginger1982]

There are so few surprises in life. DH told me 'it's a boy' when I was half out my mind on drugs after a ECS and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

[Twigletmama]

Absolutely. I really don't get the (often quite self- righteous ) justification for not finding out on the basis of it making the moment after you give birth particularly special. The moment that I met my children for the first time would have been no more special if I hadn't of known their sex. I was still getting to meet them for the first time. Their sex for me at that point was pretty irrelevant. However, I did find the surprise of finding out at 20 weeks after a pretty miserable first trimester, a nice pick me up, which helped the baby to feel more real. Also it is obviously useful in terms of thinking of names and getting things prepared.

[20viona]

Yes definitely I don't know how people wait! I am a planner and had to know.

[pumpkinpie01]

I haven't found out with any of my 4, with my 3rd ( after 2 boys ) I had convinced myself I was having another boy to the extent of not even thinking of a girls name. I don't mind admitting it I really wanted a girl and didn't want to build my hopes up. When I gave birth before anyone could announce the sex I said ' is he ok?' I will never forget the midwife saying ' its a girl love ' and then her saying ' look what's missing ' and laughing as I looked in shock at the lack of a little willy !

[AwkwardAsAllGetout]

With my first I didn’t find out and finding out at birth was amazing. It was a long, hard labour and I was exhausted and confused and initially got it wrong and thought we’d had a boy! With my 2 boys I didn’t even have to ask at the scan, they were both proudly showing all that they had so it was clear even to us that they were boys. My last is a girl and we found out very early as we needed lots of scans and it was a very difficult pregnancy. I thought it would help knowing as I was so convinced we’d lose her but I don’t think it made a difference tbh, I still worried the whole way through. In hindsight, finding out with my dd1 was just amazing, and knowing what we were having with the others didn’t actually make a difference, only really that we narrowed down name choices I suppose.

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

Yeh the whole it’s more special or it spurs on labour argument I don’t buy. The sex is pretty irrelevant really, meeting your child is the exciting part, not to mention the bloody pain spurs you on in labour, to sodding end it!

[ChipsAreLife]

@Twigletmama I don't think anyone is being self righteous at all. Just saying it was a special moment for them like you had when you found out before. It's just about personal preference that's all.

I don't really understand when people say they found out to help them bond/prepare etc but I don't think they're being 'self righteous' just that they preferred to know.

[PawPatrolMakesMeDrink]

I didn’t with DS and I won’t be at my 20 weeks scan next week.
I love a good surprise and the build up and anticipation so it make sense for me to want to find out at the birth.
DP would rather find out so we can be ‘organised’ but I think that’s a load of nonsense, organised how? Baby will be in baby grows for a fair while and I just pick them up in Asda when I do the big shop!

[Twigletmama]

@ChipsAreLife

Well that has not been my experience. I've often had it said to me in a decidedly self- righteous way. I'd liken it to the same tone as someone stating that they are planning to have a "natural" birth. I'm not saying that this is the case with everyone.

I also don't get the feeling that it is only a surprise if you find out at the birth. Surely it is a surprise whenever you find out. It's just a matter of when this is.

[RingaRosie]

I’m with you Paw. Getting organized during Lockdown has been a challenge, my baby will be wearing whatever hand-me-downs. Pink or blue doesn’t come into it. Friends are happy that I can help with their clear-outs! And it’s saved me a lot of hassle, buying online. Baby can get some nice outfits when they’re out of baby grows.
I don’t think anyone’s right or wrong either way (not self-righteous at all), it’s personal preference. I strongly did not want to know, and closer to the date I still feel the same. DH would have found out, but can see now how I felt about it is quite valid.