Did you find out the sex of your baby?

[TeddyIsaHe]

Dp and I are currently in a discussion re finding out the sex of our (currently imaginary) baby.

I found out with Dd. I was beyond certain she was a girl from the moment I conceived I just had to know! I’m erring on the side of surprise this time. I just think the ‘it’s a girl/boy!’ moment after birth would be lovely to experience!

[Emberfoot]

I did find out personally, we were not at all worried whether we had boy or girl, but ours is going to be quite unwell so we wanted to have a few "special" pieces of clothing so we have nice photos if he was to not survive. Otherwise we may well have not bothered and just dressed him/her in any old babygros.

[Bumble84]

I don’t want to know until the birth. I think it’s the one last real surprise you get in life so just want to wait.

[FizzingWhizzbee123]

Yes, with both. I do like the idea of the surprise at birth but I’m just to impatient and too much of an organiser/planner to wait. DH mostly wanted to know so he’d didn’t “waste” time on 50% of names that would get used. With DS1 we had a private scan at 16 weeks because I’d been so unwell, we wanted something positive pregnancy related to happen. Plus it helped me think of the baby as a real person rather than just something that was making me very ill. With DS2, we had the Harmony test for health reasons and also chose to include finding out the sex, so we knew by 12 weeks.

[PatchworkElmer]

We didn’t find out and I don’t think I would again. However, we didn’t get the magical ‘it’s a boy!’ moment- DS had the cord around his neck so he was taken to the other side of the room to get his breathing started. I think I said “is it a boy?” at one point and was basically told that that wasn’t important at that moment- which is wasn’t. He was eventually given back and we were told he was a boy, but it certainly wasn’t a glorious ‘I have a son!’ moment. In some ways it would’ve been better to find out at 20 weeks and have the excited moment then.

[SquigglePigs]

We did find out. I wasn't sure whether to or not but I had a horrendous pregnancy and it helped me get through it being able to picture our little girl arriving and talking to her in the womb. I don't think that would have helped as much if I hadn't known. It's a very individual choice though.

[Indigogirl88]

Just echoing @KellyHall my dp only wanted to know if it was a boy....helpful, and I wanted a surprise however due to lockdown he couldnt come so the pressure was on me to find out or not, I wasnt going to but I felt like if it was a girl I'd want to know. Dp was really hit and miss for about a week after I told him as he didnt want to know if it was a girl. For some reason some men are so adamant about this. Anyway I'm glad I've told him so he "can get over it" before the birth. I politely reminded him it's his sperm that actually determines the sex of the child

[Butterfly44]

Yes because I'm a planner and I wanted to have everything ready.

[FirstTimeBumps]

No with #1 (boy) and really struggled with boys names. Settled on my partners first choice but genuinely didn't have a favourite name like I did for a girl. I have my scan for #2 on Tuesday where I can find out if I like. My other half wants a suprise again, I would also like a suprise however I am genuinely screwed for boys names and I feel like at least if we find out I can either stop stressing or get on with having to find a boys name. Genuinely the only swaying factor in this for me 🤣

[Normandy144]

Didn't find out with either of our 2. Just didn't want to and preferred to wait until the birth. O was still able to bond perfectly well with baby during the pregnancy and I enjoyed the not knowing. It was fun coming up with names for both eventualities and wondering which set of names we would get to use. The elation of having DH tell me what the sex was both times and then you get to meet your baby right away. For me finding out in the sonographers office and then having to to wait another 20 weeks to meet them would have been worse!

[Colouringinbook]

We're not into pink or blue but it does make narrowing down name choices easier! We found out with DS and will do with this one - think it will be easier for DS to understand if he knows what he's getting.

I'm not into the idea of my husband telling me - I'm not doing all this hard work so he can find out first.

[EnchantedByGin]

This is all very interesting. Never wanted to find out with previous babies. But this time (last one) I’m surprised to find out I do.

And my decision was never about self righteous! I wasn’t smug about not knowing, I just didn’t want to. With my first, his father really wanted to know and also really wanted a boy so much so that I was worried that if he was the ‘wrong’ sex for him that it could spoil the rest of the pregnancy. And I thought that if we didn’t find out then when s/he arrived then it wouldn’t really matter. He was a boy anyway, so whether that theory was right or not I’ll never know.

And I loved the gentle correction of a PP’s older son, it’s not a boy it’s a baby!

[Riotgirlxxx]

I was really excited to find out with my scan! I'm a bit of a control freak and not fussed on surprises, so I really didn't want to wait when the option was there.

[MichelleOR84]

I didn’t find out the sex of my first and I’m currently pregnant again and have decided not to find out again.

I think it would fun for you to wait this time around since you found out with your first . I love surprises and I truly feel that waiting for birth was the best surprise out there for me ( which is funny because it’s not that surprising , it’s either a boy or girl 😂 but somehow it really is a huge surprise )

[3LittleMonkeyz]

One I found out with. I was young and impatient. The other two no. I thought my youngest was going to be a girl until they put him in my arms!

[Parker231]

We didn’t find out in advance. In my opinion it would be better if no one knew until they were born. You read so many stories of people being disappointed at scans. Having a healthy baby is the only news you need to hear.

[Enormouscroc]

No for both and I'm pretty impatient. However, I really didn't mind what I was having and I'm not really into the pink and blue thing, so didn't need to know for the clothes. I'm glad I didn't find out but totally understand why people like to know in advance

[PawPatrolMakesMeDrink]

Plus at the minute I have to go for scans alone so i don’t think I’d want to find out by myself and then tell DP later in the day. Especially as I’ve got to go back to work straight after my scan!

[Epigram]

Yes, I found out all three times.

[Hatscats]

I couldn’t decide. Has my 20 week scan yesterday, so found out alone on a bit of a whim (partner wanted to know). Started crying once she told me it was a girl, I had held it together until then! Wrote it on the back of the scan photo for partner, and let him open it in the car.

[RingaRosie]

I’m with you Paw. Getting organized during Lockdown has been a challenge, my baby will be wearing whatever hand-me-downs. Pink or blue doesn’t come into it. Friends are happy that I can help with their clear-outs! And it’s saved me a lot of hassle, buying online. Baby can get some nice outfits when they’re out of baby grows.
I don’t think anyone’s right or wrong either way (not self-righteous at all), it’s personal preference. I strongly did not want to know, and closer to the date I still feel the same. DH would have found out, but can see now how I felt about it is quite valid.

[Twigletmama]

@ChipsAreLife

Well that has not been my experience. I've often had it said to me in a decidedly self- righteous way. I'd liken it to the same tone as someone stating that they are planning to have a "natural" birth. I'm not saying that this is the case with everyone.

I also don't get the feeling that it is only a surprise if you find out at the birth. Surely it is a surprise whenever you find out. It's just a matter of when this is.

[PawPatrolMakesMeDrink]

I didn’t with DS and I won’t be at my 20 weeks scan next week.
I love a good surprise and the build up and anticipation so it make sense for me to want to find out at the birth.
DP would rather find out so we can be ‘organised’ but I think that’s a load of nonsense, organised how? Baby will be in baby grows for a fair while and I just pick them up in Asda when I do the big shop!

[ChipsAreLife]

@Twigletmama I don't think anyone is being self righteous at all. Just saying it was a special moment for them like you had when you found out before. It's just about personal preference that's all.

I don't really understand when people say they found out to help them bond/prepare etc but I don't think they're being 'self righteous' just that they preferred to know.

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

Yeh the whole it’s more special or it spurs on labour argument I don’t buy. The sex is pretty irrelevant really, meeting your child is the exciting part, not to mention the bloody pain spurs you on in labour, to sodding end it!

[AwkwardAsAllGetout]

With my first I didn’t find out and finding out at birth was amazing. It was a long, hard labour and I was exhausted and confused and initially got it wrong and thought we’d had a boy! With my 2 boys I didn’t even have to ask at the scan, they were both proudly showing all that they had so it was clear even to us that they were boys. My last is a girl and we found out very early as we needed lots of scans and it was a very difficult pregnancy. I thought it would help knowing as I was so convinced we’d lose her but I don’t think it made a difference tbh, I still worried the whole way through. In hindsight, finding out with my dd1 was just amazing, and knowing what we were having with the others didn’t actually make a difference, only really that we narrowed down name choices I suppose.