Positive labour stories please... anyone?!

[AS19]

Hi all,

I'm pregnant with my first, only 17 weeks and already am getting so much unsolicited advice on labour. I hadn't even really thought about it yet (so much else to think about) but today someone at work spent ages telling me all about their awful labour and how I had no clue what I was in for and I should just have an epidural etc.

I am not against having an epidural or any pain relief if I need it but I just feel like it's up to me to know on the day what I can or can't cope with and make a decision, it's not really anyone else's business and it's really upset me because I just feel like everyone wants to tell me their negative horror stories and although I'm not naïve and know that labour won't be a walk in the park, I get to meet my baby at the end of it and I'm trying to focus on that and not get too scared in advance, I'm sure there will be plenty of time for that but at 17 weeks shouldn't I just be focussing on the excitement?!

I was before today but now I just keep going over what she said and I know other people want to tell me their stories too and I just don't want to hear them, it's not like my labour is going to be exactly the same as theirs is it? So I don't feel like they're telling me to be nice it's just like this almost bragging thing about what a terrible time they went through!

Anyway, I would love to hear from anyone who was able to stay positive or even (shock horror) enjoyed aspects of their labour and any advice on how to rebuff unwanted advice (that wasn't asked for, we weren't even on the topic she was obviously just dying to tell me!)

Thank you!

[user1498549192]

People love giving horror stories! Just ignore them; every birth is different and there's no way of knowing how it will go until it happens.

For what it's worth; mine was absolutely fine! I had an epidural on medical advice and was consultant led on the delivery ward, so presumably not most people's ideal, but I quite enjoyed it in a strange way. The midwives kept commenting that they'd never seen someone laugh so much during labour

Anyway, the point is that at the end of it you will have your beautiful new little baby, and the labour will fade into insignificance very quickly! (I found having a newborn infinitely harder than the giving birth! )

[Ihatemarmite123]

I had a nice labour. I had to be induced at 36 weeks with a very poorly baby. What could have been a very scary time was actually quite a nice experience considering. I spent a few hours relaxing in a pool listening to music after my waters had been broken.

People love to share their horror stories, so unhelpful. And usually exaggerated.

[BrutusMcDogface]

I'm so sorry I haven't got time to rtft but I loved labour each time. It was painful (of course!) but it is, as explained above, empowering and the most amazing experience.

I felt able to relax and go with the flow- didn't do hypnobirthing as such, but had done yoga/relaxation so knew how to focus fully on breathing. I listened to music, too, which helped no end.

Something else that helped was having my dp there to advocate for me. He knew what I wanted and did his best to make sure I got it.

Good luck! Enjoy the excitement and congrats on the pregnancy!

[BrutusMcDogface]

Ps I'm doing it for a fourth time in the summer, so it must be worth it!

[Harebellmeadow]

I also read lots of Ina May Gaskin (excellent on breastfeeding and birth) and Michel Odent (a bit too zany).
My waters broke and I didn't have any contractions. Was under a deadline to give birth within 24 hours (it was actually 36 hours) and got some reassuring IV antibiotics since my waters had broken. Had to be induced by tablet as the contractions were weak so they contractions bloody well hurt and no gas and air was available. An epidural was offered as the only option. But it was manageable, and no way did I want or need an epidural and it would have interfered with my birth positions I though. After 34 hours I thought I needed the loo badly but it was just the baby descending, and shortly after this I was fully dilated.
Although sceptical prior to the birth, I also appreciate that the doctors gave me an IV drug to help the placenta out fast, meaning that it slipped out easily and I could concentrate on my baby and not on further pushing or a retained placenta. It luckily didn't affect my breastfeeding, which is what I had read about.
Was happy that it had worked out well and proud of what I had managed.
Also enjoyed the five days in hospital, in my own room, kept in until breastfeeding was fully established and my second degree tear had healed a bit, and I could walk around decently. Loved being fed three times a day and the nurturing time with my baby, which continued at home.
(Wasn't in England by the way)

[CuppaSarah]

I've had two labours. One very calm, very sedate spontaneous labour. All very relaxed and enjoyable. I had lots of gas and air and I progressed very quickly, but entirely manageable. I slept between contractions and really enjoyed the whole process.

The second was an emergency induction. The medical staff were tense, but I was having a real laugh. Felt very safe and confident. In the end I needed forceps as baby tried to come out face first. But they gave me an epidural, which I couldn't even feel them place. Forceps was absolutely fine, genuinely no problem. I recovered way quicker than my first birth too. The stitches they gave me infact really healed well and they tidied me up beautifully down there.

Honestly if you have an open mind and trust yourself and those around you, it'll be fine. Fun even! I love giving birth, I'd do it again in a heartbeat.