(Almost too afraid to ask you all but ) is this a miscarriage?

[Anisse]

Am almost 6 weeks pg, felt very nauseous at start but now nothing. I have had a very stressful 2 weeks and now my pg seems to be fading.

Have had dull period pains every night for 3 nights and today seeing slight hint of brown (trying to put it nicely).

Have been pg before and not had this happen, do you think I should fear the worst?

This year has been an emotional rollercoaster for us and although this pg was a complete shock now finding myself desperately hoping it works ou.
Oh no I am about to fall apart and I am just not allowed to.

[Anisse]

andthank you

[AdelaideS]

And having lovely healthy kids already doesn't necessarily lessen the sense of loss. There's no rhyme or reason to it, I walked like a zombie with tears constantly trailing down my face for several days, but I have to admit picked up quite quickly after that. My kids were a huge comfort to me, but already having "one of each" didn't play any part in my feelings at all.

[BandofMothers]

I had a m/c before dd1 was born and I went to gp a couple of hours after seeing blood.
He was awesome, very kind. He said bleeding doesn't nec mean a m/c, what you will see if you miscarry is "products" (his word) of a pregnancy.
Wasn't sure what to expect but it was obvious when it came out.
There really is no nice way of describing, so sorry, but if you're like me you'll just want to hear the blunt version if it'll put your mind at ease.
I felt it come out when I went for a wee. It was like a big blood clot after giving birth, but it wasn't blood. It was a pale pink and beigey colour, (yes I examined it closely through tears) and that was that.
On the other hand, my good friend had a lot of heavy bleeding with both her ds's (now 4yrs and 10 mths) and didn't m/c, obviously!!
Fingers crossed for you. Is a sad thing and should be mourned like any loss if it helps you cope. Don't bottle up your feelings, and if don't want kids to see, leave with dh for an hour, and hide in your room and cry.

[AdelaideS]

Off out now Anisse, you will be in my thoughts this afternoon.

[Anisse]

Oh I wish I could hug you both.

[Anisse]

Yes I see what you mean Bandofmothers.
Havent had that so far. Just bright red and a bit like a period at times.
If you were me would you still hope or just let it go?

[BandofMothers]

Don't give up hope!! and let us know after you're app.

[Anisse]

But it is true, because I already have these three giggling downstairs, I feel almost greedy wanting this one too.
Hard to explain.

I have read so many threads on here where folk have had so much heartache trying to conceive and carry just one.
I know I have been blessed (even though the pgs were no picnic getting to this point).
But I had hopes for this one too, they would have been happy here.

Feel so unexpectedly tearful.

[BandofMothers]

I still think of the baby I lost on it's due date, which was Nov 5th. Don't know if I remember cos it's bonfire night which I love, or if I would anyway, but I still feel a bit blue on that day.
Of course you had hopes.
I was very dubious about dd2 when I fell pregnant, although we'd been trying, I had just decided to go back on the pill if I wasn't that month. But I was. Until I felt her move and discovered she was a girl, which gives them more identity for me. Now I wouldn't be without her.
Life is wierd, and hard and so unpredictable. If I hadn't had a m/c, I wouldn't have my dd1, now 3 yrs. And she's fantastic.
I don't know. . . . . . .

[gothicmama]

Anise so sorry , it is a shock take ita day at a time and enjoy being with your dc's

[AdelaideS]

Hi Anisse, I know what you mean about feeling greedy, I felt as though I had no right to feel so sad when I had two beauties already. But I just did. Terribly sad. I spose we just feel what we feel, there is no right or wrong, nor any "correct" timescale for our grief.
BandofMothers' description of the physical process was very similar to mine, btw, if that helps.But this is all terribly negative of me as BoM says, don't give up hope yet.Friend of mine bled loads and dd was fine. Whichever way it goes i hope it's over soon.
Be kind to yourself.

[magaddict]

Hi

They didn't really give me an explanation - and I was so relieved I just let it go at the time. I was given a pep talk prior to the scan by a really sympathetic sonographer who explained that losing a baby at that stage (I was about 7 wks) was really common and I should prepare myself. Then they scanned me and all was well. All I can really remember them saying was that the bleeding wasn't coming from anything to do with the baby but from me (?) whatever that meant. It was a nightmare, but thankfully I could go straight to the early preg unit for a diagnosis. I really feel for you having to wait.

[Anisse]

Had to go to dinner at the inlaws last night which was not my choice of venue right now.
I think its over now, at least I am hoping it is.
Dont mind the wait actually.
Been in hospital all week with a poorly 10 month old so glad to be out of it really. At least I can have my own bed/ bath whenI want and be alone when I want to.

Wish I didnt have to got scan etc tomorrow. Is that really necessary do you think?

[sazzybee]

Yes you must go to the scan I'm afraid. They will need to check that if you have MCed, everything is gone or you could get an infection

Sorry.

Do something cuddly for yourself today x

[BandofMothers]

Do you mean you've stopped bleeding or that you've m/c'd ???
sazzybee's right though. Either way you should go for the scan.
Take some moral support if you can though, don't go on your own!!

[sillysillysally]

Hi there. Just wanted to say how much I relate to what you've been saying. I've had two m/c and each time I felt such grief. Its particularly hard if you haven't told many people (which we didn't) so you can't show your true feelings and tell people why you're unhappy. Even though I often think we wouldn't have our ds (who is perfect) if either of the 1st 2 pregnancies had been successful, it still makes me really sad to think about them.
That said, you never know what might happen tomorrow. Thinking of you.

[AdelaideS]

yes, you must have that scan, don't want to raise your hopes as I know you have been so up and down but that friend of mine who bled a lot actually miscarried one of twins.
Take care Anisse, and good luck.

[magaddict]

I agree you must have the scan - you need to know either way. Will be thinking of you and keeping everything crossed.

[Anisse]

Gosh you know, my dh has been so lovely and done all the jobs and helped with the kids but coming on here and listening to the things you girls say and how you seem to just KNOW how I am feeling.
I find myself nodding or sighing at the words, and so comforted by the fact that you have taken the time out of your busy lives to write a few words to me.

It is like having a cup of tea with a bunch of warm natured friends, and I am so grateful that you have helped me through this.

Bandofmothers, I had a lot of bleeding and some loss too as someone described. I presume it was what you would expect.Not sure, a bit like very heavy period. I am not at all optimistic.
I will go tomorrow of course then if you think I need to. I have to go on my own as dh has to look after the children (half term). Dont really have a friend that I feel I could take to something like this, and my sister is miles away.


Am a bit more together about it today, ds has been so poorly and is still unwell and needs me terribly so I had to get on with it.
Did the weekly supermarket trip today and kept feeling that wave of light headedness sweep over. Didnt quite faint though, that would have been a write up for dd1 and dd2's 'what did you do during half term diaries? Err Mum embarrassed us and fainted in the petshop'
I held on to the rabbit pens for dear life and their pong brought me back.

[Anisse]

Adelaide, when I was pg with dd1 10yrs ago, I bled a fair bit at 8 weeks and went to bed for a whole week. (Not as bad as this mind).
I was told I had probably miscarried a twin.

This time I was SO sick at the start of this pg and my symptoms were so strong I began to joke that it must be twins and I was even showing already. The midwife had said they would send me early for a scan.

It did occur to me that It may have been a twin again but I just dare not hope. I think this has been too bad for any good to come out of it.
Thank you Sally and muminfife too. Sorry you have had to go through it too.

[BandofMothers]

I'm crossing my fingers for you, and thinking of you tomorrow. So sorry you have to go on your own.
Let us know!
and good luck

[Anisse]

I have had a miscarriage.

8.30am sat and waited to be seen. Registered me, did a pg test which was neg and told me that my ultrasound was at 11am. wait in reception for 2.5hrs!
Told me not to eat any food in case I needed an op and to start drinking at 10am
(I went home and got DH)

11am had scan and they confirmed it.No further treatment needed thank goodness for small mercies.

That's that then I guess

[VioletBaudelaire]

So sorry about your sad news.