would you / do you: one glass of champers

[frazzledtofun]

I think I kind of know the answer to this question, but here's the deal - I'm 19 weeks and it's my birthday and DH is treating me to a fabulous dinner at a michelin starred restaurant. I would LOVE to have a glass of champers when we go which I could sip at throughout the meal (so not down in one go or anything), but don't know if I'll enjoy it if I am just imagining poor baby wallowing in alcohol.

So, what do you all reckon? Would you do it? Have you done it? I haven't had any alcohol since I found out I was pregnant (had a glass of wine the night before my BFP as I was convinced that I wasn't pregnant).

[Chchchchangeabout]

Here's a different one with a similar angle though:

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2008/oct/31/women-pregnancy-alchohol-birth-defects

Sorry can't link as on phone

[applecatchers36]

Most definitely & enjoy your birthday treat ...
One glass isn't going to hurt, I drank a glass of bubbly at weddings and birthdays and my DD is fine.

[Roseybee10]

Alice in an ideal world we would all eat organic, fresh food and only drink water.
Tbh I'd be more concerned about chemicals in food that we don't know about than a glass of wine every now and then.
Caffeine can be harmful in paragraph quantities when pregnant. So can tuna. But no one says to completely abstain from them, just to ensure you don't take too much.
You wouldn't feed anything but milk to a new born so your argument that you wouldn't feed alcohol to a newborn doesn't really make sense. You wouldn't feed pasta to a newborn or even water yet you would take it yourself when pregnant.

[PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom]

If you wouldn't give alcohol to a newborn baby then why on earth would you drink it whilst pregnant?

Aw, Alice. You went there. The alcohol in pregnancy equivalent of Godwin's law.

And the thing is, it's such a rubbish comparison. It's popular solely for its emotive imagery and weight of moral judgment.

1. You wouldn't given a newborn asparagus and orange juice either. Yet funnily I've never heard it applied to those food groups. The fact that you wouldn't give something to a baby has fuck all to do with whether it is appropriate for a pregnant woman to choose to consume it. Totally separate non-analogous issues.

1. It misunderstands the difference between a small glass of wine with a meal on rare occasions and straight administration (quite a lot of biology going on there).

You also used my second favourite of 'it's only a few months'. Well, except that people that black and white also tend to think that you should totally abstain during breastfeeding too. I've been pregnant, breastfeeding or both for 7 years now. Probably more like 8 by the time I'm done. Even if we only go with the pregnancies, three kids and two miscarriages would put me somewhere around 2.5 years. So, you know, a fair chunk of time to take a decision based on zero evidence of harm (at the 'one, once in a blue moon' level that is being discussed here. )

[PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom]

Cross post with Rosey. You said it a lot shorter

[milliemanzi]

Alice is clearly MUCH more of an expert than the NHS and the millions of women who have had the odd tipple with no effect to their child.

[artisanroast]

YES!!! Have it! Enjoy it!!!

I can count on one hand my alcoholic beverages and I am now 20+3...

We had a night away at a very nice hotel along with 5 course meal so... I had 50ml champagne and 75ml white wine with dinner.

Then at a festival I did the same again. It was quite a posh festival and included 5 course dinner there too!!!

I had 2 sips of red wine tonight.

My biggest concern with the very nice cooking was medium rare red meat which I had to give to my husband and I did chance a bit of goats cheese it was a set menu and a gift, so I couldn't refuse any courses.

I am still here and I am fine the 20 week scan showed baby is healthy and growing exactly as she should!

Enjoy your evening and most of all enjoy feeling 'normal' for a night xxx

[artisanroast]

PS next glass of champagne is 1st August for our friends' wedding...

Not that I'm looking forward to it at all...

Hahaha!!!

[MistressMerryWeather]

If you wouldn't give alcohol to a newborn baby then why on earth would you drink it

Do you truly, honestly believe that those two things are at all similar?

Really?

[newbian]

I think it's really sad that anyone who suggests abstaining is safer than drinking, even in small quantities, is accused of being an ignorant moralizer.

I also find it funny that on Mumsnet it's always about wanting a glass of wine or champagne at a wedding or fancy dinner. No one ever admits to drinking cheap cider or a vodka shot. I find it hard to believe that everyone on this website is middle/upper class constantly being invited to high-end social functions and those are the only times drink is ever consumed.

[BeCool]

Yes of course I would. Enjoy.

[Salene]

No I wouldn't, I avoided all alcohol when I was pregnant , even on our wedding anniversary when we were away celebrating for the weekend at a fancy hotel

[WorldsBiggestGrotbag]

newbian I haven't had cheap cider or a vodka shot since I was about 18. Surely that's just growing up, not being middle class?

[ARV1981]

Newbian, I think cheap cider etc are drinks that are more easily resisted because they are foul.... a nice glass of bubbly is not!

[batfish]

One of the drinks I have had was a glass of fruity cider, I really really wanted it and it was delicious!

[ARV1981]

Ahhh fruity cider, that is nice. As is raspberry beer! I meant cheap cider like white lightening (does this still exist - I had it as a teenager) not the nicer stuff.

[MissTwister]

Newbian I think people drink wine/ sparkling wine at places other than high end social functions.....Once they get older most people drink because they enjoy the taste not cheap cider to get drunk surely? Not sure it's got much to do with being upper class....

Also, I don't think people would have any problem with people saying they have decided not to drink. It's the approach of 'you're poisioning your baby you dreadful harridan, can't you even not drink for 9 months you alcoholic' that gets people's goat. Especially when that's not an evidence based line of thinking just a judgement

[sianihedgehog]

I only drink cheap cider and vodka shots when I want to get drunk on the cheap, so it wouldn't make any sense to treat myself to just one as my one drink a week. That's basically how following the NHS guidelines and not endangering your unborn baby works - you have one drink a week and not 15 cans of Stella.

[OTheHugeManatee]

Yes, I would, absolutely. If you sip slowly the alcohol is metabolised before it gets anywhere near your baby. There's no evidence of harm caused by the odd drink now and then in pregnancy - the danger comes from binge drinking (when your body can't metabolise fast enough and it crosses the placenta) or from high, constant levels of drinking.

[Mrsmumb]

Enjoy it! one glass of champers will not cause any issues whatsoever.

[newbian]

I was just pointing out that the question of "Should I drink" is almost ALWAYS in regard to wine or champagne on MN. You don't even get people asking if they should have a nice aged whiskey or expensive bourbon - which being hard liquor I suspect would get a different response.

I suspect that doctors and midwives who give stronger advice against drinking - such as my countrymen the dreaded Americans - are aware that the vast majority of women who drink while pregnant are not having a glass of Moet at an expensive restaurant now and again. The fact that some women internalize this advice to the point of thinking any drop of alcohol is a danger might be an unfortunate side effect, but it's not going to harm anyone to avoid alcohol at the end of the day.

[Fattycow]

I wouldn't, but I don't like champagne anyway.

[PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom]

I don't think it would get a different response actually. Brits don't all it hard liquor and don't really have the moral division the US seems to. I think the issue with spirits generally is speed of consumption and volume But say a whiskey after dinner spread out over an hour for birthday, think the response would be similar.

[jabbsy74]

I doubt theres many of us here whos own mums didnt drink like fishes throughout pregnancy - the old 'glass of guinness' is good for you thing, we're all ok, for the most part.

I dont have a problem with having a glass of wine, i used to drink like a fish pre-pregnancy and thought being pregnant and not drinking would be the hardest thing ever - now its here though, i find although i want it in my head, if i have a small one topped up with lemonade (wine shandy!) i dont actually want it as much as I thought I did... but still, its nice to know its there if you want to. i havent had one for a few weeks.... might have one this weekend.

the problem i do have, is all the 'looks' you get when someone asks if you want a drink and you say it out loud.... jeez... put your eyes back in douchebag.

[Skiptonlass]

I'll put my hand up and admit that if I drink it generally IS nice wine or bubbly. Maybe an iced cider in the summer. If that makes me middle class I'm unashamed. Life's too short for cheap booze. ;) or at least it has been since I stopped being a skint student....

Newbian - Your post is relevant though and it goes back to what I was saying earlier - different drinking patterns. We've got the worried mum to be fretting about one glass of champers which will do zero harm, and being made to feel guilty for a single 2% cider with food, then at the other end of the spectrum we've got women who are drinking enough, and regularly enough to harm 1-2% of babies born. Let me make clear these lines aren't drawn on class, I know plenty of Middle-upper middle type mums who I think are borderline alcoholics.

The question really should not be about demonising the women who have a glass of wine with food on their birthday, it should be about how we are managing to scare most women whilst simultaneously failing to stop alcohol related harm. How do we get that message across to heavier drinkers? Are they scared of approaching healthcare services? Is there proper joined up health provider access to help women stop drinking? There's a lot of help for smoking cessation but (maybe I'm just not looking for it) I don't see similar services for alcohol. But alcohol does SO much harm.

We have to shift the message away from this shrill "fallen woman" thing that puts us as passive baby vessels and get it back to an evidence based approach that treats us like adults and has sufficient resources to help women who need help to quit booze/drugs/fags etc.