DP going on a stag weekend when I'll be 38w

[Letmeeatcakecakecake]

Yes. You read that correctly.

My DS came at 37 weeks as well, so kind of expecting this one to make an early appearance too.

He will be 6 hours away, so if I do go into labour when he's away he will most likely miss the birth.

Is it bad that I'm not actually annoyed? When I was in labour with DS (who has a different father) I felt like I just wanted to be left alone, like when an animal hides in a room to give birth. I'm planning a home birth this time and can just imagine him getting on my nerves (distracting me when I'm contracting, lurking, playing on his phone, just being him, ect) and I quite like the idea of just being on my own to deal with it until the midwife comes for the delivery. None of his flapping about, getting in a state, getting on my nerves ect.

My parents live on the road next to me, so if there was ever a need to rush to hospital they could always drive me anyway.

I've got no interest in finding an emergency birth partner for this particular weekend, and just think that if he misses the birth, that's on him... I can't tell him what he can and can't do and I can't particularly plead my case to have him there when I don't particularly want him there...

Sorry mr cake... I do really love you. You're just very very annoying.

[weeblueberry]

I actually took a swing at DP because he kept looking deeply into my eyes and saying 'try and calm your breathing, look, breathe like I am....'. So I tried to punch him. Seemed like the most natural thing to do at the time tbh...

[weebarra]

You do sound very together about the whole thing and really, it is his loss if he's not there. I was different during labour, but I've done the surgery/chemo stuff too and I very much focused on myself then, really didn't want anyone around.

[Letmeeatcakecakecake]

Weeblueberry- I am absolutely cracking up, my God id have done exactly the same thing! Honestly have the women that teach men to do these things actually given birth themselves? WTF were they thinking? It's the situation I need to avoid with DP entirely as he's quite the sensitive soul and would take it personally!

Weebarra- I think it's just my coping method, I was quite young when I had to have it and it was just how I learned to deal with nausea and pain! It worked for me so I tried it in labour and it worked for me again!

[GotToBeInItToWinIt]

Luckily DH realised I was in no mood to be messed with and just left me alone... Seriously I don't think he said a word for about 10 hours. The midwife stayed pretty quiet too, I think I was giving off bad vibes

[LulusMiniEgg]

My DH didn't have this quandary but I'm pretty sure if he had he would have asked to go on the stag and I would have said yes.

We are both adament that having a baby won't change us from doing things socially apart from each other or together. We may need to adapt slightly but I'm not going to become a baby bore just because I have a child. I don't want our relationship with each other to become resentful.

DS1 was born 10 days ago and I was similar to you. I wanted to be left alone to concentrate and focus. After he was born I asked DH if I had been ok and he replied no you were rude and ignored me, I do t really know what the point of me being there was! I don't think he would miss further children's births but I don't think either of us would be devasted if he did. And don't get me wrong my DH is pretty much perfect - handsome, a hero (he's a fireman!), good round the house, social & so so smitten with our DS (and me!) that this one little thing doesn't matter.

Go with your gut, let him go, Sod's law you'll still be there at 42weeks!!!

[Letmeeatcakecakecake]

Lulus- that is exactly the situation I think it'll be if he were here anyway, it wouldn't occur to him that behaviour is all done in the heat of the moment and he needs to step back from that. I shouldn't have to babysit him whilst in labour.

Hmmm maybe that's another thing to add to the riot act 'labour is not about you, I will not baby sit you so either make yourself useful with the midwifes or fuck off' and 'I love you with all my whole but if I hear one word on complaint about me being rude during labour, so help me god, I will destroy you'

The list is nearly complete