When did you/will you tell work? (non physical jobs)

[minipie]

I'm 6 weeks pregnant and the tiredness and sickness has kicked in. (Also have an active and non sleeping toddler)

At the same time my boss is heaping work on me. I'm a lawyer and my hours are already pretty long and stressful. I just can't get through the work while feeling like this.

The usual convention in my office is not to tell until post 12 weeks, I think. But I'm wondering if I should.

I know there are some jobs where you really have to tell them early eg if you do anything physical or potentially toxic etc. But what if you're not in that category but are still struggling to do your job (or do it fully) while pg?

When did you/will you tell your work?

[StoneBaby]

Told my supervisor after 7 days of POAS as I needed a wee every 10mn and had to walk past his office.

[minipie]

Well, decision made, I've now told my boss. Another big issue exploded on my case and it looked like that was going to land on my desk as well as everything else and I can barely manage to function at the moment what with nausea tiredness and toddler waking teething all night. So I told him I was early stages of pg and feeling awful and just couldn't manage the extra. He was fine about it and very nice (he is relatively modern for a male law firm partner ).

I'm not up for promotion anyway (I went 4 days a week after DD and that effectively took promotion off the table - whether that is right or wrong is a different matter but that's how it is). Chances of me being made redundant or pushed out right at the moment are miniscule given workloads. So I figured nothing to lose really.

Redling I agree.

Greengrow I'm sorry to hear that was so recent. I still think that hiding pregnancy and trying to push on through and taking very brief maternity leaves is not the way forward for most women. That's the old school "you have to act like a man/play by their rules if you want to get anywhere" school of thought which I don't subscribe to. However that's a debate I've already had with you (under your various previous usernames) on other threads anyway.

[Greengrow]

Yes, we all differ. I just like both schools of thought to be out there (and it can be very much acting as a woman to stoically carry on whatever - that is the nature of a great many women -that is not necessarily just a male attribute - we all differ as humans not just by gender).

[sianihedgehog]

engineer. told my boss at 8 weeks as he mentioned that they were about to hire another person in our team, and when my colleague had gone on maternity leave he'd dicked about and not managed to get a temp replacement until she was already gone, making my life hell. i hoped telling him would mean that my going on maternity would not be utter hell for my colleague! he's been very nice about it.

[minipie]

Oh I didn't mean being stoical was acting like a man (women WAY more stoical in my limited experience ). I meant pretending not to be pregnant is acting like a man.

[amandapanda01]

Oh I had to tell mine right away to be able to claim maternity leave! Haha! I told them when I was 4 months in (didn't know i was pregnant until my 3rd month!) I think telling people early is better so they know you aren't exactly at optimum working condition and not just slacking off.

[Greengrow]

I am not sure what pretending not to be pregnant means.
I detest those women who aren't really ill but make a great song and dance of it, continuously sigh, rub their tummies, want everyone to run around them just because they are pregnant who use it as some kind of pretext to get attention and be pathetic. They shoot themselves in the foot as they end up losing their careers and income and that is a great result. It will stop them making such a fuss of it.

Of course if they are really genuinely ill as a few pregnant women are (not most) that is entirely different.

However continuing to work and with your normal life when pregnant is not being like a man. It is being like a normal pregnant woman.

[minipie]

Greengrow I'm not sure what you mean by not really ill and most pregnant women aren't really ill.

I am not running to the loo every 5 minutes or on bed rest, so I'm not "must take time off work" ill. However I do feel extremely tired and nauseous and this undoubtedly does affect my work performance and how many hours I can do. If I don't say I am pregnant then I run the risk that my colleagues/bosses just think I am underperforming. I'd rather my boss knows there is a reason, and can allocate work accordingly. I don't think this is making a big song and dance or using it to get attention, it's just sensible management IMO.

If early pregnancy didn't affect your work performance then hooray for you. It does for me, and for most women I know.

Quitting this debate now.

Thanks everyone for your input.