Those of you who say "it's easier having a newborn and a toddler than being pregnant with a toddler", please step this way.

[matwork]

36 weeks with dc2 here and feel brain dead most of the time, or shattered, or distracted...

I loved my maternity leave first time round (took the full year, and plan to do the same again this time) but I can't imagine ever feeling energetic or engaged enough to make the most of it. It's been tough juggling work so maybe once that's out the way (mat leave starts this week) I'll be able to focus and chill (with a 2.5yo?!?!) and switch into Engaged Proactive Mummy Mode.

But I fear I'll want to sit on the sofa browsing on Pinterest or MN whilst relying on a peppa pug DVD to entertain my poor DD who, quite frankly, deserves more. Can't even begin to imagine how I'll find the energy to enable a newborn to thrive?!

I've heard people say they found it easier once dc2 had arrived rather than being pregnant with a toddler in tow. I'm seriously hoping I find the same. Haven't had a difficult pregnancy or anything, I'm just so zombiefied.

[WhoMovedMyVuvuzela]

It's easier every time IMO. I am utterly exhausted now, I will be exhausted after I have given birth but at least walking about/carrying out basic tasks will be less of an effort.

Have you got a garden matwork ? I have been stocking my garden up with various toys so the DC's can play while I sit under a sunshade. Possibly one of the best items purchased was the little tikes red and yellow car, it seems to be like cat nip for toddlers!

[Pobblewhohasnotoes]

Watching, as I'm 33 weeks and have a 2 year old. I'm hot, tired (doesn't help that I'm anaemic), I can't sleep at night and I can't bend!

[SpiffingGalore]

So much easier I cannot even begin to compare. I had spd and couldn't drive or walk for the last few weeks of my pregnancy, so I was basically housebound. It was winter so we couldn't even get out in the garden. The TV was permanently switched to CBeebies whilst I lay on the sofa and groaned. Changing a nappy felt like a Herculean task.

Ds2 is now four months old. We go out most days. I'm tired sometimes but it is nothing compared with the last month of pregnancy. We have a life again!

[mandbaby]

I have two sons (4.7yo and 2.11yo) and am 27 weeks pregnant and am struggling like mad! The heat doesn't bother me, but already my hips and pelvis are so sore, I can't stand, walk, sit or do anything for very long before i'm in agony. My hormones are all over the show too and my "ooomph" for doing anything is at an all time low.

Personally, I found the transition from one child to two a doddle. There were 19 months between mine and thankfully DS2 was a very good baby. Looking after the toddler was far harder.

Soon, I'm going to have 3 under the age of 5! Thankfully, the eldest starts school 3 weeks before I'm due which should alleviate some of the burden, and DS2's 15 free hours of pre-school will also start, meaning that I'll be able to spend some quality time alone with each of them.

I don't think any aspect of being a mother is "easier" than the next. Pregnant, newborns, toddlers, primary schoolers, teenagers. You just swap one set of problems with another!

[Surf25]

I think I'm pretty much on the same page as mandbaby in that you just swap one lot of challenges with another! But on the whole the physical aspects of caring for a toddler are easier once the baby is out and I think it makes a big difference because toddlers are just physical - just easier to be out and about with a toddler and a pram/sling for baby once baby has arrived than it is running around the park/house/soft play with a massive bump!!.And my baby didn't sleep at that time! Now 3 and 4 and brilliant fun.

[rightsaidfred]

Easier for me (20 month gap). I found that however the nights were I was never as tired as I was when I was pregnant. Had lots of lovely time with my eldest doing sticker books/ stories whilst breastfeeding. We got out to playgroups etc a lot and i lowered my standards about making sure I had my bag packed- had snacks and nappies etc. I stuffed a load of stuff under the buggy at the weekend and if I ran out of nappies/ snacks/wipes then I bought them while out or borrowed from another mum. Being out was a lot easier than being in. One thing I worked really hard at was forcing them to nap at the same time...... which after a couple of months meant I had a couple of hours free every afternoon. Good luck!

[matwork]

Again, thank you! Some really reassuring posts just when I need it - achey back, everyone telling me I'm massive, bad nights sleep last night, pining for my old carefree life, worried about my career etc.

Yes we have a garden and I've been setting up the paddling pool and the sand/water table so that dd can busy herself with those (though I feel guilty that I just let her get on with it and don't really play with her as such) and the trampoline is always a winner.

There are tons of groups and parks and activities to do/go to round here so think we'll be ok but again I'm out of practice with doing stuff with dd, actually playing together rather than just getting up/out and relying on a group to stimulate her.

I will stock up on books etc to snuggle with dd whilst feeding dc2. And think I'll put my Pinterest addiction to good use and get some ideas from that for simple activities we can do. DD is a good kid (I would say that of course) and I'm a little nervous that we'll find it tricky adjusting to being around each other more than we're used to.

As for childcare, it's been a mixture of grandparents and nursery, so we've scaled back so she'll just go 1 morning a week at nursery and then as hoc with the GPs. She's down to start preschool in sept but I'm having a wobble about that for various reasons (namely that it won't provide enough childcare for when I go back to work and we'll disrupt her by putting her back in nursery) but that's probably another thread.

I just remember how intense those first few week are when you're glued to the sofa feeding. And them dd was a horrific napper so am worried about that again. She's on the verge of dropping her lunchtime nap so not sure I'll get much of the two-asleep-at-once thing!!

[PastaandCheese]

The midwife who delivered DS told me to ask DD if she'd like to help out at every opportunity. This was great advice.

It gives her the impression of getting a lot of attention whilst getting all the baby care done. DD enjoys helping change his nappy, fetching his muslin, washing him etc. Now he is three months he will hold a bit of Duplo or whatever whilst she shows him what she is doing. They are very sweet together.

[ikeaismylocal]

I'm only 22 weeks pregnant and I'm failing massively as a parent today. Ds is 18 months and we are usually out for most of the day, yesterday we went into the city, went to a train museum, had sushi for lunch ( ds's favorite then went to the library. Ds woke a couple of times in the night and then was up at 6 ( he usually sleeps much better than that) I feel like death warmed up.

So far today ds has pottered about playing with Mr tumble on in the background, he played with his plastic boat in the sink whilst I had a showering. He's perfectly happy, I have offered to read some books but he said no. I just feel like I'm letting him down :(

Lunch and nap time soon ( we aren't in the UK) we are going to the park and to meet a friend after his nap, I think I might nap too!

I'm dreading the 3rd trimester if it's this hard already.

[Delta1411]

I definitely felt better once my second child arrived DD is brilliant and was only 20 months when DS was born. But because she is so good and entertains herself she was often left to do so. I mean I was obviously there I didn't leave her unattended or anything but I was obviously more pre occupied with newborn!!! Now I pay for her to go to a play group and when DS has a nap we do something we couldn't with him there, like play with stickers or colour in.

I since found out I am pregnant again and dreading the pregnancy with a just gone 3 year old and 16 month old!! But I will get on with it and go on maternity leave early should I have to.

I felt dreadful in the latter stages and it definitely got easier once my baby was born!! If you feel that way you are probably right!