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Pregnancy

Did you have a baby shower?

81 replies

ElleDubloo · 03/03/2014 09:42

Our pregnancy is still secret at the moment (only 5+5) but in a few months we'd like to throw a party to celebrate.

Did you have a baby shower / other celebration?
How pregnant were you at the time?
What did you do?
Did you ask for gifts / donations to charity?

I'd quite like to wait until the summer, and invite friends round to my in-laws' house (much bigger than our flat) where we'll have a barbecue, balloons, bubbles, fizzy drinks and games We might ask for donations to a children's charity in lieu of gifts (because I like shopping for things myself!)

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WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 03/03/2014 15:05

No, but 10 years ago they were pretty well unheard of. I've never been to one, never heard of anyone I know having one in real life and if I was pregnant now I wouldn't have one either, I would hate the fuss.

McPheezingMyButtOff · 03/03/2014 15:13

No.

American, tacky, grabby nonsense.

I don't know one person who's ever been thrilled to be at one either.

SweetPea86 · 03/03/2014 15:16

I didn't want one but my friends have just threw me a surprise shower. Felt a little overwhelming because they put ballons and cakes all around and made me were a shash. Was lovely they bought me alsorts of things.

But I would never host my own. I also think it would be cheeky to ask for donations or gifts. Showers are more suited for later on in pregnacy.

If you do host your own I would strictly tell people not to bring any thing.

SweetPea86 · 03/03/2014 15:24

I have to agree they are very American and over the top like Halloween and prom. I did feel quite embarrassed opening presents of every one. I love peoples parties wedding etc. But I never have any for my self. Probs why my friends did it as a surprise because they new I would be mortified if I knew lol

LocalEditorOxford · 03/03/2014 15:27

Threw one for my grieve which I think she enjoyed. Just lunch and chatting people brought presents but they were for the mum to be, not the baby abs most of us just contributed to a voucher for beauty treatments. She had had a rubbish year and we wanted to do something for her. We called it a bump party, not a baby shower though.

I also know of a couple of people who had blessingways thrown for them. Google for more info but basically a more supportive less materialistic approach and I would love someone to do something like that for me

LocalEditorOxford · 03/03/2014 15:27

Friend. Not grieve. Auto correct getting silly

Mintyy · 03/03/2014 15:31

No. They are a new thing, and I was pg in 2000 and 2003.

I wouldn't want one if I was expecting now ... some people (me included) really hate them!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 03/03/2014 15:37

My friend did this for me a couple of weeks ago. I'd told her not to and she did it anyway. I was very .

squizita · 03/03/2014 15:40

I went to one (hosted by an American) where the gifts were noted down in a little book by the hostess in front of us. Like 'oh, just a babygro from her ... oooh an expensive wooden toy from her'.

It was so crassly done. Is that normal in the USA I wonder?

All the others I have been to have been more a little party with fun/sweet gifts,

MorganLeFey · 03/03/2014 15:56

No - same as another poster... wouldn't feel it was right/'tempting fate' to celebrate something before the baby has arrived safely. Not every 5/40 pregnancy or at any stage beyond that results in a baby.

That said - 2 close friends I'd arranged to meet while heavily pregnant did get a restaurant to add a baby related topper to our desert & gave a giftcard/hamper of thoughtful things.

Celebrate once baby is here.

Legalbaby79 · 03/03/2014 15:56

I m having a little girls get together with tea and lots if cake and bubbles and just calling it a gathering as I live a big of a distance from my friends and wanted to have them over to show them the nursery and our newly decorated house . No emphasis on gifts just a get together x

SconeRhymesWithGone · 03/03/2014 16:06

To set the record straight, Halloween originated in Scotland and Ireland.

mumbaisapphirebluespruce · 03/03/2014 16:11

I had one. It was hosted by my SIL. I live in Canada so it is pretty much the norm here, although I didn't really want one, but in the end it was lovely. I had a gift list too, but as I say, it is very much the norm here. People kept asking me what we needed etc and where my list was, so in the end we did a short one. It didn't go out with invites though, and was only given to those who specifically asked.

The rules are that you never host your own, and it is only ever done for the first baby, never subsequent children. Don't put a gift list in with the invite, but if people ask you can give them ideas.

AuntieStella · 03/03/2014 16:13

If you want a shower (shorthand for 'shower with gifts') then at least do it properly and have someone else as host.

If you want to have another type of party, eg one where gifts are not obligatory) then don't call it a shower.

Gingeroo · 03/03/2014 16:16

Didn't have one because I don't think anything is guaranteed until you are holding your baby in your arms. I even refused to have a 'leaving' speech, card or gifts from work when I went on mat leave. I didn't want anything until after my DS was born.

People thought I was very odd but my SIL had a still born at 40 weeks. Our family learnt the hard way that things aren't always ok.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 03/03/2014 16:18

Just have a summer party, that's a much better idea.

londoncitymum · 03/03/2014 16:20

I feel that baby showers are tempting fate somewhat and I wouldn't feel comfortable having one. In my experience people usually feel compelled to buy gifts for the shower and then again once the baby is born so it's yet another example of american style consumerism gone mad.

spiderlight · 03/03/2014 16:21

My waters broke all over the midwife, if that counts...

bridgetsmum · 03/03/2014 16:32

I have 3 kids

Never had a shower and have never been to one or even heard of any of my friends having one. Horrid American nonsense like "play dates" ugh

Mummytobe2014 · 03/03/2014 16:38

My mum threw me a surprise one at a lovely local hotel where we had afternoon tea and lota of lovely cakes. My friends and family were there and they brought me some lovely gifta but i hadnt asked for anything as i didnt know about it! It was a really nice relaxed afternoon. I was about 36/37 weeks pregnant. I wldnt have arranged my own though x

kiwiscantfly · 03/03/2014 16:42

I'm a kiwi and we have them here, in fact mine was in London, yes I got given gifts (small items) an yes it was lovely. Here we have given all my friends showers, organised and hosted by another friend but usually held at the mother to be's house, so we can see what they've done for the baby. I also only give one gift, either at the shower or after, depending on if they have one or not. It's just a nice afternoon with the girls really.

ElleDubloo · 03/03/2014 17:26

Well, it's good to get all this feedback

No, I never suggested we'd have it now, at 5 weeks! I was thinking much later in the pregnancy, but I'm not sure when most people tend to have it.

I didn't know it's an American thing that's not often done here. It's my first pregnancy and none of my close friends have babies

From what people have said in this thread, I think what we'll do is call it a party (not a shower) and not suggest gifts or donations. I'd like to host it myself though, because a) I like organising parties and b) I don't want to make someone else do it for me.

Or maybe it'll be best to do it just after the baby is born. Perhaps at the christening.

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ChicaMomma · 03/03/2014 17:31

Elle, because youre the first of your close friends to have babies then it might be a nice tradition to start. One of the reasons i wont be doing it is because none of my friends have. It's just considered in bad taste and a bit american. Lots of people have lost jobs etc and are struggling to pay mortgages, so throwing a baby shower really isnt in good taste IMO in my case. We'll go for lunch though!

ohthegoats · 03/03/2014 17:41

No, I'd be horrified. Partly because of what expatinscotland says, but I've been to several, and also think they are really cheesy and awkward.

LePetitPont · 03/03/2014 17:46

I've been to three get togethers for friends a few weeks before they were due - all been lovely! First two were afternoon tea affairs in tearooms and the final one at someone's house with drinks and lots of food. None had games or gift lists, but wouldn't have occurred to me not to buy a gift to take along for the mother, then a little something for the baby once it arrived.

Was great to see the preggers friends before they were consumed by motherhood and wish them well. Nothing 'grabby' or 'entitled' about a party with your favourites - gift lists, however, get you into more dangerous territory!

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