Top newborn tips

[Pinkbell123]

Hi all,

So even though my baby is refusing to budge, induction is booked for Monday so all being well, this time next week we will have a newborn. Aaah! It's our first so we are a bit clueless.

What would be your no 1 tip for those first few weeks?

[PinkandPoo]

My best advice is

If you're breastfeeding:

1. buy breast pump
   
2. express and offer a bottle as soon as possible (ie. as soon as you've got the breastfeeding thing sorted).
   

Midwives may recommend you don't give your baby a bottle until 6 weeks to avoid nipple confusion (like mine did) but if you leave it till then many babies will absolutely REFUSE to take a bottle looking at you DD which means you then can't leave their side for longer than a couple of hours until they're weaned at 6 months. Which may drive you slightly mental.

DS had a bottle at 10 days old

[qazxc]

so glad for this thread. My PFB is due in june and i have no idea what i'm doing/in for.

[weebigmamma]

I like the tip about the thermal mug! Definitely getting a thermal mug this time.

My tip would be: recognise that guilt is inevitable and everyone feels it, but tell yourself that whatever happens it is fine- you are fine, the baby is fine, you will all survive, things will not be perfect and they may not work out like you expected or wanted, but that is OK. For most people things don't work out how they imagined. You can't be a perfect mother, but you will be good enough and your baby will think you're fabulous even if Gina Ford (or whoever) doesn't! ;-)

I let myself get very depressed over not being able to breastfeed and none of the midwives told me it was OK to stop, but they should have. I put myself under enormous pressure about it and it felt like the end of the world when I did eventually give up. Looking back I can see how nuts that was. My daughter is now 9yrs old, very healthy, never had all the cold and flus that I believed she would have if I didn't bf etc. I wish I hadn't let myself feel so terrible about it because it sort of spoiled the first few weeks. This time I will try breastfeeding again but I will hopefully not be letting myself get into such a state if it doesn't work out again.

[Dontwanttooutmyself]

This: "My motto was "Pick him up. Fill his mouth. Change his bum." If that didn't work, I'd hand him to his father, say "I can't take it anymore" then cry in the bathroom. It worked for us"

If you are bf, then if in doubt, offer a boob. Yes, they can be hungry again. Even if they finished a 45 min feed five minutes ago. It does not mean you haven't got enough supply.

Go with the flow - for me, accepting that I couldn't do anything was really hard, and I would fight it, trying to do things vaguely approximating my normal life. As soon I accepted that sitting on a. Sofa all day was perfectly fine, it got easier.

Let your DH get a decent nights sleep ASAP after the birth (esp if you were both up all night). If he has had a 12 hour recovery sleep, he will be 100% back to normal and therefor much better able to help look after you. Once he's back to normal, then split shifts- DH does the 8-12pm slot while you sleep, he then sleeps 12-6am. (DH CAN use formula). I think this is vital at least once or twice in the first few weeks, even if you want to EBF, as it helps you recover and cope with the demands of bf.

[Scotinoz]

Try and get outside everyday - my little one is only 10 weeks but I definitely feel all the better for doing this. I might just have shoved on leggings and runners, scraped my hair into a ponytail and have baby spew on my top, but a bit of fresh air does us both good.

Breastfeeding takes practice and doesn't always just magically happen. I assumed it did but have a baby who didn't take to the breast until she was a week old.

Not all newborns take forever to fed, some are super efficient and drain a boob in 10 minutes. And not all newborns feed from both sides each time.

If the baby will only sleep on you then just go with it, it takes them a while to get used to being a separate person.

Although you're a new mum and have never done it before, you seem to have a bit of intuition and know what to do.

[nirishma]

Read secrets of the baby whisperer. This made me feel much more confident with a newborn despite never being a person that was good with babies before. My mum was amazed and told me I was a natural. Obviously don't follow it to heart just take on board the eat activity sleep you time mantra. It's brilliant and sometimes you think 'actually, I can do this' because you can figure out WHY your baby is crying.

Read 'your body, your baby, your birth' by jenny smith. This really helped me to prepare for labour in that it encourages you to drop unrealistic birth plan expectations and explains that you won't really know what you want till you are giving birth so keep an open mind. Eg I decided I did want painkillers but having read this book realised diamorphine was available and jumped on it when the midwives offered it too me. I might have been cross with mysel previously but that book made me keep an open mind (flip sake why was I being so hard on myself before?)

These two books got me through the first few weeks pretty easily. However, I seriously regret not reading about breastfeeding. Mentally I was not prepared for that as I hadn't 'studied'.

When you are term reading is about the only thing you can still do with dignity so you've nothing to lose!

Oh yea, and try not to be too hard on your oh. He will have his own way of doing things and will be hurt and resentful by your constant chiding. Prepare to have a few bumpy patches along the way but realise this is normal for most couples and makes you stronger once you get out the other end.

Good luck!

[Florizel]

Be mentally prepared for some insensitive idiot childless friend to ask 'why have you still got a bump?'

Know that everyone will have an opinion but only you are the parents and what's right for you is what's right for you.

I saw The Baby Whisperer on TV years ago and she did seem helpful and confidence-building -much more than that Gina Ford woman who timetables when you are allowed to eat your own breakfast! (although my cousin and SIL both felt secure in slavish adherence to GF's insane routines so if GF works for you, go for it). Whatever makes you feel confident.

Breast-feeding is a bit tricky at first, and not all babies are instantly good at it, but it is worth persevering with. In the early days your boobs can be as taut and large as a football so the baby sort of bounces off. In this case try expressing a bit of milk out first. The nipple has to go a lot further into the baby's mouth than I realised for them to be able to create suction. They need to have a really wide open mouth for it to work. Don't worry if your baby's lip gets a blister on it from feeding - this doesn't bother them. For sore nipples, try Lansinoh (it is also the best lip balm money can buy)

Breast-feeding can trigger an instantaneous desperate thirst so get a pint of water before you start. Or shout for one!

Until I had DD1 I had no idea I would bleed for so long after the birth.
Teeny tiny babies can be a bit dazed for a day or two and might just sleep and sleep. Don't panic. You will look back on this time in awe.

When they do wake up, they can give you such intense, deep stares it becomes almost unsettling, like they are actually not babies but very old people.

Breast-fed babies don't do much poo. Mine certainly puked a lot though.

[snowqu33n]

YY to lots of easy food in the house, in fact all of the above is great advice.
I would say that what I found hard was that newborns really don't interact much for a few weeks, its like they are in their own little world, they cant see you and they dont know what your words or facial expressions mean anyway. They are just carrying out reflex actions a lot. It gets much easier when they start to take notice.
They do lots of weird stuff like noises, and have eyes open, when they are asleep. They fart louder than most adults and it surprises them and makes them cry. They may have a hairy back and other funky stuff that goes away later.
Try to have experienced people at least available by phone in RL, 24hours, for those times your baby does something unexpected and you are terrified that something is wrong.

[Lazybones80]

Fantastic thread for 1st timers like me. I've just bought a box-set and a breast pump. Keep these gems coming!

[MooseBeTimeForSnow]

Some women who breastfeed never leak and don't squirt milk across the room. Some women say they have a strong let down reflex but others won't feel it. A poster above referred to an insatiable thirst when starting to feed. That too is a let down reflex.

For the first week or so, every time you change it's bum it might scream like you're changing it with razor blades. This will pass.

Babygros with poppers and envelope style necks are your friend. Small buttons on baby outfits are the work of the devil and designed by someone who has never had children.

[SillySnuffler]

Some breastfed babies poo A LOT floizel both mine certainly did/do.

[snowqu33n]

Sometimes they poo so hard it flies out when you are changing the nappy, so never change them near something you can't fully wash and don't want to throw out
Sudocrem is good for preventing nappy rash or just making sure poo bits don't stick fast to the little bum.

[HazleNutt]

Every baby is different. Just because your friend did x and her babies were perfect, does not mean that x will work on your baby or that you are doing something wrong if your baby does not behave like hers.

Same with things you need. Another mum might swear that you need loads of x and absolutely cannot live with y - might not be true in your case. For example I bought tons of muslins, breast pads and maternity pads and barely used them, as I didn't bleed or leak much and DS didn't puke. Also was told that I need loads of newborn clothes, but DS grew out of most before he got to wear them. So basically - get the essentials and buy whatever you need once you know that you actually need it.

[BlindKitty]

Avidly taking notes over here at 27weeks! Think I've decided to get a cleaner for a month or so!!!

[Pinkbell123]

Thanks for all the tips! Baby arrived in the early hours of Wednesday morning. So far he's been asleep most of the days and awake and feeding most of the nights! But he seems to be doing ok.

[FrankelInFoal]

Congratulations!

[StormyBrid]

Congratulations!

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Congratulations from me too

[SoftSheen]

Congratulations!!