Top newborn tips

[Pinkbell123]

Hi all,

So even though my baby is refusing to budge, induction is booked for Monday so all being well, this time next week we will have a newborn. Aaah! It's our first so we are a bit clueless.

What would be your no 1 tip for those first few weeks?

[purpleaura]

My tip is feed, feed and feed. You think to yourself they can't possibly be hungry, I only fed you 20 minutes ago. But they might be. Even if they're not, suckling comforts them. So my top tip is if they're upset, offer a boob.

[purpleaura]

My tip is feed, feed and feed. You think to yourself they can't possibly be hungry, I only fed you 20 minutes ago. But they might be. Even if they're not, suckling comforts them. So my top tip is if they're upset, offer a boob.

[PurplePidjin]

The first and most important thing you can teach your baby is that Mummy Comes Back. All a baby will take from being left to cry for a long time (20+ minutes) is that there's no one to help them.

That said, it's absolutely fine to let them get on with it in a safe place (cot, moses basket, bouncy chair) for a couple of minutes while you fetch a drink/food or go to the toilet. Or even just while you stick your head out the back door and breathe for a minute. It's leaving them for ages that isn't helpful.

If in doubt, feed. If it's not that, change their nappy. Still upset? Take off or put on a layer of clothing - feel the back of their neck, not their hands, to judge. If they're still upset, try food again. If it continues for many many hours, ask for help - don't let anyone make you feel like a paranoid freak for worrying about your baby, that's what parents are for and it's completely normal. Better to ask stupid questions than ignore something that later becomes a problem.

Late afternoon was known as Grump O'Clock in our house. That's when ds was over-tired, over stimulated and getting geared up for the evening cluster feed. Be prepared for this, and make sure your partner is too - it coincides with many partners getting home from work, mine felt really guilty for a while thinking it was his fault but actually a couple of oz of expressed milk and some skin to skin with daddy was really nice and meant I could do grown up things like cook dinner.

This is all from the grand total experience of 1 fairly easy baby who is now 15 months feel free to ignore anything that doesn't suit you - as you should do with all advice, both asked for and foist upon you

[Gastongator]

The best piece of advice I got was to stay in your pyjamas for as long as possible. Then nobody expects you to do anything, worked a treat for me. The sleep advice is good, leave the house work. And when visitors come, point them in the direction of the kettle, get them to make you a cuppa. Try to enjoy it all, it goes really fast.

[Dusty04]

But an insulated travel mug as you will never again have a hot drink! :)

[Dusty04]

Buy not but!

[NancyinCali]

Put your own oxygen mask on first. In other words when your newborn wakes up in the night for a feed but you're desperate for a wee, for goodness sake have a wee first. Get a glass of water and snacks ready before you settle down for a feed too. I forgot these tips frequently! Hopefully I'll remember for dd2 in July.

[mewkins]

Accept all offers of help. If someone offers to look after the baby while you have a shower, take then up on it. Likewise if they offer to cook you dinner, hoover, iron, change your bedding etc

[Iheartcrunchiebars]

1. Don't try and get your baby in a routine, get yourself in a routine.
   
2. Work towards having breakfast, lunch & dinner. Eat lots of protein and drink a lot.
   
3. Don't let visitors stay more than 30 minutes.
   
4. turn the ringer off the phone and have your phone on silent.
   
5. stock your cupboards with snacks.
   
6. only let useful visitors visit, ie people who make you tea, lunch. If anyone asks for a cup of tea point them in the direction of the kettle and say you'd love one too.
   
7. stay in bed for a week. Don't be a hero, it was the biggest mistake I made.
   
8. get some cracking box sets. They make cluster feeding entertaining.
   
9. assume the baby won't sleep in a Moses basket. It will probably on sleep on you or DH. If your house is big enough bring the pram in the room and get them to sleep in the pram.
   
10. enjoy it. I miss my newborn !

[EmFlat]

Fantastic links, Llama! I've bookmarked those for reading several times over

[Chocolatestain]

I would second the advice about stocking the freezer with meals that can easily be reheated and eaten with one hand. DS was a big evening cluster feeder. I had a small side table on either side of my chair so that when he swapped sides DH could move my meal to the other side and I could carry on eating my dinner. I also used to drape a tea towel from under the plate over the arm of the chair and across DS to catch spills.

Keep a set of changing stuff downstairs so you don't need to keep going up to the nursery in the daytime.

Be gentle with yourself and don't try to do too much. In the early days, one set of visitors or trip out in a day will be enough.

Let DH get involved as much as possible. With a newborn it's very natural to come over all possessive and want to do it all yourself, but later on you'll be very glad you got DH into the habit of nappy changing and soothing to sleep.

With a first baby you have the luxury of being able to focus entirely on your newborn and yourself. Make the most of it and enjoy!

[Jess03]

Remember sometimes nothing works and the baby will cry. Put hem in a sling and walk around but sometimes when you're doing your best they do just cry. And people snap at each other when tired, try not to argue because you're both just dog tired. Take lots of photos, you really don't remember the early days!

[FrankelInFoal]

More tips please! I'm 37+3 with PFB and have had very little to do with babies in the past and have no experience at all of newborns!

[hubbahubster]

What Pascha said. Vital.

Don't beat yourself up about anything, try not to go in with any preconceived ideas of how you should/shouldn't feel.

Get in plenty of stuff you can eat one-handed.

Take in every precious second. Time spent staring at your beautiful newborn is never wasted. I can still remember all those awesome little expressions DS used to make when he was figuring out what the world was doing… (also I took loads of pics on my iPhone – another handy thing too keep nearby if you have one!)

[Pinkbell123]

Thanks everyone! I thought things were getting going yesterday but all fizzled out so false alarm. Just been out to stock up on trackie bums and more pjs!

[YouPutYourRightArmIn]

Fabulous tips on here. Great reminder for me as dc2 due in the summer.

Mine would be expect inconsistencies - babies like to keep you on your toes and change what they are doing when you just think you've to the hang of it!!

If BFing, learn to do so lying down, you'll barely lose much sleep!

Consider seeing a cranio osteopath if your baby feels in your opinion a bit too fussy/unsettled.

Make a decision to enjoy as much as possible.

Expect your baby to want to feed every two hours (timing that from the START of the last feed, not the end of that feed) and expect those feeds in the early days may take up to 45 mins!

Enjoy, it's fricking magical.

[SoftSheen]

Buy a sling.

Know that newborns often want to feed hourly or for hours at a time, including at night. But that this is normal and it will soon pass.

Read up on safe co-sleeping (see above).

Don't put too much pressure on yourself. You and your baby need to be fed and clean but everything else can wait (or delegated to others).

[Expectans]

Always have eggs in the house and bread in the freezer. Meal in seconds.

You can never have too many muslins.

If in doubt and the baby is screaming, especially if it is stiff, try winding. Wind mid feed, wind post feed.

If you are likely to feel down about your new non pregnant body, make sure you have some healthier snacks in as well as chocolate etc. At least then uou will not feel you are making things worse.

Jug of water where you feed if BF, a glass is not enough.

Dry shampoo.

Cuddle!

[Expectans]

Also, be cheeky and invite friends over to cook you dinner.

[Expectans]

Try and get some fresh air every day as soon as you can, even if you just go into the garden.

[Expectans]

Keep a phone charger by the sofa.

[Chocolatestain]

Be flexible and go with your baby's flow. Some love being swaddled, some hate it, some want to be carried all the time, some are happy to be put down. They can't be spoilt or get into bad habits at this age so do whatever makes their, and your, life easier.

Colicky babies are uncomfortable when they are horizontal, so if you have one try a sling or baby bouncer during the day a wedge under the head end of the Moses basket or crib at night

Ignore/ban from the house anyone who tells you about their friend who was baking cakes for charity/training for a marathon/working all hours at their corporate law firm three days after giving birth. These women do not exist and if they do are clearly insane and not to emulated. Our NCT teacher told us about a culture (can't remember where) in which new mothers spend the first month in bed with their babies while female relatives take care of everything else. Might not be possible here, but it's a better role model to aim towards.

[MabelBee]

Hold them lots and don't have any expectations. Just go with the flow and trust that a pattern will emerge naturally at some stage.

[mistermakersgloopyglue]

If you are breastfeeding, the don't be shocked if the baby wants feeding all.the.time. Don't try and space 3/4 hour feeds, the baby is not trying to manipulate you (thanks for the great feeding advice there mil) he is just hungry! Just feed feed feed!