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Pregnancy

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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

How will the abolition of mums and dads effect us and our babies?

335 replies

kfca · 02/12/2012 19:43

Does anyone else mind not being recognised as the mother of their baby, if the law changes, maybe in the new year, with the marriage changes?
Will mumsnet have to rename itself as LegalParentAnet?

OP posts:
TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 02/12/2012 20:23

If I'm being abolished, does that mean I can abandon Child-type One and Child-type Two and fuck off for a cocktail?

Where do I sign?

OddBoots · 02/12/2012 20:25

I'm not sure it would make an ounce of difference, my dc's birth certificate calls me 'mother' and neither of my children have ever called me 'Mother'.

As long as I have parental rights and responsibilities for my children they can call me what they like on documentation - a rose by any other name...

breatheslowly · 02/12/2012 20:25

You've posted this in pregnancy, so does this mean it only applies to children born after the law is enacted? I think that may cause some division between siblings born either side.

The law can call me anything it likes if it also allows gay people to marry. And I mean anything.

EmmaNess · 02/12/2012 20:25

They're letting GAYS marry?! Like, EACH OTHER?!

Holy fucking arseholes, Batman, what the fuck are we debating the abolition of mums and dads for, when clearly the entire world is about to end.

Obstreperous · 02/12/2012 20:27

LaLaGabby :o

icclebabyjesusheave · 02/12/2012 20:27

At least Sodding P&G will have to drop their stupid "sponsors of mums" shit. (Yeah P&G, where's my sponsorship money you bastards).

They can be "Sponsors of Legal Parent A and Legal Parent B in a female-female marriage".

breatheslowly · 02/12/2012 20:28

LaLaGabby - what are cat sausages like?

EmmaNess · 02/12/2012 20:29

icclebaby it also opens up sponsorship opportunities for the parents formerly known as 'dad.' So it's not all bad.

Djembe · 02/12/2012 20:29

The 3G in these less salubrious parts of the bus route is pretty patchy.

Really, do people only learn to knit nowadays to be pretentious or is it a genuinely satisfying thing to do?

Do you have a link I can read the next time my reception goes OP?

HoneyDragon · 02/12/2012 20:30

Do ducks from outside of Marakesh not let you fuck them?

IllageVidiot · 02/12/2012 20:32

LaLaGabby Grin

YY BreatheSlowly.

My juvenile humans call me Boss anyway, they'd be thrilled if we were abolished. Come to that, I'd be thrilled, I'd go and indulge in my love of goats (not goat love, that's entirely different). I'd make cheese. I wouldn't do so much washing.

Ah. Where do I sign up?

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 02/12/2012 20:32

Rural ducks are chaste ducks, Honey.

noblegiraffe · 02/12/2012 20:34

On other forms you might be 'main contact' or 'primary carer' in relation to your child. I don't think that is particularly psychologically damaging, nor does it detract from the fact that you were also the person who gave birth to them.

SoulTrain · 02/12/2012 20:44

I like it, it'll add an air of mystery to me DS will refer to me as Mrs Parent A, except on high days and holidays when I shall allow him to address me as "A."

Like old Judie D in Bond.

HoneyDragon · 02/12/2012 20:46

I'm rural. Our ducks are randy buggers! They are slways at it, and the geese. They let the Llamas watch them too, the perverts.

kfca · 02/12/2012 20:49

No, not all mothers are married, but this law isn't just about marriage, it affects all mothers and fathers.

@Noblegiraffe - you say 'nor does it detract from the fact that you were the person who gave birth to them' - where's the proof if you're not recognised as the mother? Seriously!?!

I currently have 3 kids and they're precious to me, and being recognised as their mum means a lot to me. It's on their birth certificates and school forms etc. Why should I become a mere 'legal parent' of my own flesh and blood all of a sudden? They weren't adopted. So I mind this, a lot. I think we all should.

Just google the Governments' consultation brief on the re-definition of marriage if you want to see the terms proposed.

OP posts:
ArtexDonkey · 02/12/2012 20:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

breatheslowly · 02/12/2012 20:52

I like to think that I would be just as much a mum to DD if she were adopted.

As for proof that I am her mum - I can show you the scars if you like.

ArtexDonkey · 02/12/2012 20:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chubfuddler · 02/12/2012 20:56

I can't see any difference between the word mother and parent in status terms. One is gender specific and the other isn't. That's all. I can't see one as superior to the other.

Bluestocking · 02/12/2012 20:56

Do you mean the Government Equalities Office Equal civil marriage: a consultation, published in March 2012? Because if you do, I can't find anything about parents in it.

noblegiraffe · 02/12/2012 20:56

How do you know that the man named on the form as 'Father' is actually the person from whom the sperm originated? Legal recognition of that doesn't make it true, just like not calling you 'Mother' doesn't mean that it's not true. And there are people out there who call women 'mum' who didn't give birth to them, and would say that they are more than a mother to them than the person who did give birth.

DNA gives the birth facts, 'Mother' is simply a label.

GalaxyDisaster · 02/12/2012 20:58

I found that too Bluestocking and can't see anything either.

kfca · 02/12/2012 20:59

No but a few years down the line, if you split up with legal parent b, and he meets legal parent c or d or e, it might get very messy, and legal parent A might not have the same sort of rights she currently enjoys, as pass the parcel begins.

OP posts:
breatheslowly · 02/12/2012 20:59

What about this consultation paper from August 2012 - is that what you are referring to? I can't find any mention of "Parent A" or "Mother" in the document.