so when did you tell your parents/inlaws you were pg, and how did you do it?and what was there reaction?

[carriedababi]

[Ticklemonster2]

First time around 6 weeks, but next time after 12 weeks as want some peace from a pushy mil!

[Broodzilla]

MIL was visiting and had stopped with DH to get a bottle of wine. As they were choosing the bottle, MIL had said something about me drinking Merlot, so DH had started smiling. MIL had inhaled and gone "is she pregnant?". DH had said yes (whilst smiling) and she shrieked "AGAIN?" (DS was 18 months at the time I got pregnant, we've been together for 10 years and married for 3 years) and then complained that she'll have FOUR grandchildren, as if that's really horrible. DH just told her we're not expecting any financial or other support from her...

MIL hates me though, so I wasn't exactly thinking she'd be overjoyed. Strangely, she didn't mind us getting married, but when I got pregnant it all changed, as if I'd "trapped" her DS... I guess you can always get divorced, but you can't un-do children. She also told us (the first time around) that she's too young to be called a grandma, she was 65 at the time.

The reactions that upset me the most was a friend (who had encouraged me to TTC) looking really hacked off and saying "but you didn't even put your time in trying!" and my Dad replying to "you're going to be a Grandad" with "but your step-sister has just had a mc"... as if we'd got pregnant just because we're insensitive (I hadn't even known she'd been pregnant).

All in all, each time, we've ended up feeling like we should just keep the pregnancies and births quiet and not make too much fuss.

[mediawhore]

My mum cried for 2 days when I told her I was preg with my first. But then I was 19 and had known my (now) husband for a month!

She was happier when told about 2 and 3!

[jandanaligazan]

My worst experience of telling someone was my SIL who was also just recently pregnant, and her first response to my news was "What, you're going to piss on my parade?!" I couldn't believe it! However, happily, most people's reactions were very positive. I think after you get married there is an uspoken thing that mother's are waiting for this 'next step' for their daughters.

I was just reading about women Kenya who are not allowed to tell anyone about their pregnancy. If they tell they think they'll be cursed by jealous barren women in the village. Have a look;

pregnancyandchildbirtharoundtheworld.blogspot.com/

[Eglu]

Winky what is it with some of the old fashioned ideas that some people carry around these days. My PIL were gutted we weren't married. Despite the fact DHs older brother had already had a baby and not been married. I honestly think it was more what their friends would think rather than what they cared about.

[Graciescotland]

I only told my sister who got very drunk on my wedding day and told everyone, including...

[TheBrideofFrankenstein]

Live overseas so called both lots of parents after the 12 wk scan.

I told my mum I had some news and then said "You're going to become a Granny in September". She was v excited.

DH told MIL who said she knew because he kept complaining about having to clean out the cat litter

[WinkyWinkola]

My mum was shocked. I told her at six weeks pg. I wasn't married - wedding was in three weeks. Felt very very sick and tired. I think she was just concerned about how I would cope with all the broo ha ha.

My in laws wanted me to tell everyone ds1 was prem so that it would look like I'd conceived him after we were married. However, at 9lbs 9 birth weight, I don't think that was going to wash!

I think my pil now realise that we do what we want and think is best regardless of what the neighbours think.

[CopperLocs]

Some lovely stories here!
I told my mum about an hour after I'd taken the test- I drove to her office just after I'd told babys dad. She was less than pleased as I hadn't been with my Childs father for very long and it was a less than stable relationship to begin with- needless to say we're not together anymore! I'm my mums only child and this is my first pregnancy. Being known as the "sensible one", I think everyone assumed I would get married and settle down before having kids. So bless my poor mum she cried for about 4 weeks straight! She just wanted more for me than to end up a single mother like she did. But I'm now 19+3 and she is the most excited grandmother to be ever! This experience has deffinately brought us closer and I'm loving every minute

[VikingLady]

I told my mum at 8 wks on the phone. Was going to wait til after 12wk scan, but she was a bit down and I thought it would cheer her up - 1st GC! "Mum, will you prefer to be know as Granny, or Nonna?" She squealed!

In laws were very quiet, then asked dh (in FRONT of me!) whether it was planned, and did I think now was a good time? Given we weren't earning much, and were living in a rental, and he's not very responsible... We're in our 30s, married, both working. What more do they want?

Honestly. My mum is MUCH nicer than his. I sympathise, Hayley.

[DorcasGailen]

My parents live in Canada and I live in Africa, this time last year I was staying with them and I had a conversation with them about how it was unlikely that I would ever have children. July this year i phoned them to tell them some news, I made sure they were both listening and just blurted out "I'm pregnant" cue a loooooong silence (I was thinking Oh ok then) followed by much screaming! I think they had thought I was going to tell them i was getting married or something else entirely and totally shocked them! I havent seen them since last year but they are coming over to look after me for the last few weeks of my pregnancy and mum is going to be my birth partner (DP is not too keen) She cried when I asked her! I dont have a MIL but FIL apparently said "Oh bloody hell" when told but in a nice way and my SIL's both called me screaming down the phone. On the whole I think both families are very pleased with the news even though this will be grandchild number 5 on my side and number 10 on DP's side.
Op congratulations, tell your parents however you want, its your news!

[whimsicalquark]

I like sweet threads like this. (Yes Iam replying at 4am, oh the joys of being 37 weeks pregnant !!!)
we told parents and in laws after the 12 week scan. I bought a couple of lovely gift boxes and pairs of baby booties and attached a little tag to them saying please save these for me until I can wear them in november and wrapped them up in box, also included envelope with scan picture. Gave box each to parents and in laws.
My mum squealed with excitement (first grandchild) other halfs mum was quite confused even after opening the scan picture so we had to actually spell it out for her ! (although his dad got it straight away and was just stood there grinning)

[FetchezLaVampire]

My dad guessed, because I happened to be at his house on the only day of my entire pregnancy I had slight morning sickness, so he twigged. And was delighted.

With MIL, as DS is her first grandchild, we sat her down and I said, with a really serious look on my face, "Now then MIL, you've got a very important decision to make." [Pause for dramatic effect.] "Do you want to be known as Granny or Grandma?" [Pause for MIL to get it, then much squealing.]

[CrackersandCheese]

God MILs can be total nightmares can't they?!

[Dinosaurdrip]

With DS1 I told my DM before DP. Oops! It was very early days and not Planned in any way, shape or form, mil and fil were told by DP at about 10 weeks. Apparently fil said, this is going to ruin your life son! (DP was 29 at the time) DS2 again I told DM quite early on and mil after 12 week scan. Went for a walk with her and DS1 and she said well you've got what you wanted now havent you? He's proposed and you're pregnant again! Nice. No congratulations no nothing! This time we're not telling anyone till after scan although may have to hide from them as I started showing pretty early last time.

[Oeisha]

Haven't broken it to my bump's furrry-brothers yet carrie but they are regularly having their little furry butts kicked by her whenever they're on/near my bump...you think they'd be suspicious by now. They just give the occasional "WTF WOMAN" look. Especially as there's less room on my lap. They are both enjoying my dreamgenii to snooze on though.

[PotteringAlong]

We got my mum and mil a bOok about fun stuff to do with your grandchildren, wrapped it up and gave it to them. Was obviously a bit subtle as they both thought it was just a weird present and we had to explain it...!

[carriedababi]

hi family fun
thanks for the congratulations

feel free to private message me if you like

we said we would tell dd after 20 week scan only because it will see like an eternuty for her to wait, but i bet some twat will come along and say directly to dd, are you looking forward to having a brother or sister.
so i might tell her after the 12 week scan.
my boobs and tummy are swelling already
so i might look pg early!

dd tells people she has a brother, the bloody cat!
when ive asked dd in the past if she would like a brother or sister she says no!
lol



i might have guessed your inlaws reaction!

how are you doing ?
how are the dds and your dp?

[familyfun]

hi carrie congratulations congratulations congratulations im so pleased for you and thanks for message, can i reply in priate too?

with dd1 we told my parents at 8 weeks and they were overjoyed, told inlaws at 12 weeks and they said "oh" which really disappointed me.

with dd2 we really wanted dd1 to be the first to know so waited till 12 weeks, told dd1 and then got her to tell gps, my parents were happy but said they guessed about 4 weeks earlier, inlaws shrieked "what" again they disappoint me.

when will you tell dd1 carrie?

[carriedababi]

yes i thought that too, hayley must be a medical miricle to be able to get herself pg.
your dh could have replied well if hayley was able to get herself pregnant she'd probably be a millionaire


hayley that mil sounds like a nightmare, have you decied what to do regarding that letter?

[MammaInTheMaking]

Love this thread, it's giving me so many ideas! I know that MIL and FIL will be completely over the moon about it. They know how much we want to start a family.

However my parents are hard work and still see me as their child (i'm 27!!!! and only child). So I just know they'll freak out. Mum will think we're stupid and not ready and dad will just think we're irresponsible. So i'm pretty scared about it. Am almost 8 weeks so time is ticking.

There's nothing that'll give it away either as i'm a T-total cheese hater who doesn't drink tea or coffee.

I keep thinking the best thing is to tell them that they are going to become grandparents for the first time in 6 months (as it takes the shine off me becomming a parent). But however we do it I know it's going to be tricky...

[Alligatorpie]

My inlaws are visiting right now, and we haven't told them as I am only 6 weeks, I plan on getting off the plane with a bump at Xmas.

I will tell my mom via Skype when I am 12 weeks.

[DejaWho]

What I WANTED to do (and it would have just about worked out with the dates - apart from the mahoosive bleeding session that put a spanner in the works) was to send mum a "Happy Birthday Grannie" card with the scan photo in... knowing her she would have seen the front of the card and plotted murder for me making sarcastic comments about her age - then opened the inside.

[eurochick]

"OMG Hayley got herself pregnant"

I'm chuckling at this. Presumably she thinks you are a medical marvel and managed it all by yourself...

[Abcinthia]

I didn't tell either of my parents. My mum guessed when I was 17/18 weeks pregnant. She was disapointed that I got pregnant at 17 and then that I didn't even tell her. I really didn't know what to say or how to say it, so I just didn't say anything and tried to hide it.

She made me make a doctor's appointment that day and came with me to my first few midwife appointments.