23, pregnant and very confused and emotional....

[25leah88]

I have just found out I am pregnant (very early days) after feeling out of sorts for a couple of weeks. I am in a very happy relationship with my boyfriend of nearly 2 years and although we have talked about having children we are both in shock.
We are currently buying a house and I have just accepted a job offer (before i knew) as a manager. My boyfriend does have a good job but it isn't stable at the moment. I can't help but feel its the straw that broke the donkeys back....
As to how I feel, I would love to be a mum, just maybe now isn't the right time. My partner is in shock and keeps saying it isn't the right time, I am just so confused as to what to do, any advise appreciated.

[Firawla]

Just to say, I don't think you are necessarily in that bad of a position to have a baby, you're in a happy relationship, buying a house so you have got stability and i'm sure the new job will still entitle you to maternity leave? so if you want to go ahead it sounds like things would not be too bad. It may be a shock now but don't forget you would have plenty of time to get used to the idea and get ready. I wouldn't worry about your age, I do think you're in a good position for 23 and imo its a good age to be a mum.
I am 24, expecting my 3rd very soon and had my first at 21, we were not in that good of a position when I was pregnant with him as we didn't have anywhere of our own to live, we were with inlaws and had various issues with that but by the time he was born we had sorted somewhere and things were fairly settled, so you do have plenty of time to get everything organised and get used to the idea. Then when I was 22 I found out by suprise I was expecting my 2nd which was quite a shock at first as my 1st was still young but once again it worked out fine, if you do want the baby then you will find a way to make it work and you would cope fine i am sure, sometimes the idea is more overwhelming at first but if you have them you will be okay

[25leah88]

Just to update everyone who has been so nice to offer advice...
We have decided that we are going to have this baby

[Crosshair]

Congratulations!

[Clandy]

Congratulations I had dd at 22 and it is the most perfect and best ever thing (wasn't planned) now we are trying for baby number 2 just think when your 45 your baby will be independent enough for you to have your freedom then, that's how we see it plus we will hopefully have a lot more money then than we do now so prob wouldn't be doing much we own our own house and although we are by no means rolling in cash we get by just fine. Like others have said dd is the apple if so many of my friends eyes as they have no children an I think we have settled into parenthood better than some older mums we know as we just don't know any different. You will love it im sure

[cazzybabs]

I had my 1st baby at 23 (fell pregnant when I was with my bf for about 2 months) ... we now have 4 kids and are (happily) married ... there is a never good time to have a baby - good luck!

[georgethecat]

Thats great news! its a great age to have one! wish I'd done it younger :) before you know it you are creeping through your 30s worrying about fertility! Good Luck, I'm sure you'll love it xxx

[tudorrose]

Congratulations! There is never a right time to have a baby.

I had DD1 when I was 19, it's hard, but it's ok in the end. She is now 20, at university and taking her driving test tommorrow. Have no idea where the time went. Enjoy it.

[Zay04]

I was in the same position a couple of weeks ago. I'm 24 and the only one with a full time job, my husband does not work and is still looking for a job. When I found out I went to work and just spent literally the whole day at my desk crying with no idea what to do. It's not the perfect situation to be in, and I would have like it to happen a bit later on in life. I'm still not sure I'm ready to be a mum. But give it time. Now I've started talking baby things and told one of my friends, who was very excited for me, which rubbed off. I know I made the right decision, and you will too. But don't rush into anything, take your time, you'll do whats best for you, your family and your baby. x

[WiiUnfit]

Hi Leah, congratulations, just wanted to share my experiences with you.

I found out I was pregnant when DP & I were 19, we were very worried about how we would support this baby & how we would cope. I was working in a company that was about to undergo a huge restructure, losing approximately 50% of staff, DP was working with his family part time & a retained firefighter the rest of the time. The first thing I did was burst into tears, despite DP & I saying if I was pregnant it was obviously meant to be (as I was on the pill) & we would be happy. I went to work that morning in complete shock, the whole day was a massive blur & I spent weeks being worried about how I would care for this tiny person. As did DP.

Eventually, we both came around to the idea, for us abortion was never an option. We had our first scan at 13 weeks, it was such an emotional moment, a happy one. As my bump grew & I started feeling fluttery movements, then kicks & punches we both fell deeper in love with the little one inside every single day.

Now, we are both 20, our Son is 9 weeks old, after a difficult pregnancy & difficult birth (Emergency C-Section) we wouldn't change anything. I promise you that you will absolutely love every second & of course, you & DP will be absolutely fine. :)