How to support DD's faith...

[AnnieOneWannaSmackWorra]

My DD is 6 years old and switched into the Catholic school board in September. DH is Catholic (but non-practicing) and I am an Atheist. Our DD indicated an interest in religion last summer and so we decided to move her to Catholic board to provide to give her the opportunity to learn about the Catholic faith.

My problem is that, as an atheist, I am finding it very difficult to engage with her when she talks about the day's lessons. My beliefs (or lack thereof) are my own and I want her to be able to make her own decisions rather than blindly following mine.

DD loves her new school and really enjoys learning all of the bible stories. I want to be able to support her educational life as well as her religious life as much as I possibly can. This is going to sound offensive and I really don't intend it that way, but is there such a thing as a complete idiot's guide to Catholicism?

[LadyWithLapdog]

Annie, I think as long as people are polite, they can derail your OP and show dismay that you've let an impressionable five year old make such a monumental choice. You didn't want to influence her as her mum but will stand aside and let strangers do it. (It's not too late. You're making a good start by reading up on it.)

[GotAnotherQuestion]

Annie - try not to let it bother you.

Just pity people who feel they have to wade in where they're clearly not wanted. You've said a few times that you don't want people's opinions about what you're doing with your DD but they are not respecting that. They are force-feeding you their opinions anyway. They are, in hypocrisy, trying to indoctrinate steer you in a direction you've made it quite clear you are not looking to go down.

It's obvious you're a very loving and caring parent who is bringing up her child in a balanced and informed way. Just see the unwelcome critics as annoying blue bottles creating a din around your jam jar and give them no further headspace.

Remember that these people are actually cowards because in RL they would be sucking up to a lovely, balanced mother - and would probably even tell you that it's a great, healthy choice to make!

The fact no one can see their faces gives them some sort of Dutch courage to say what they want and be as extreme and unreasonable as tickles their warped fancy.

Really, honestly, feel sympathy towards such people's minds and be glad your own is not inflicted with such narrow-mindedness

[AgentSchraeder]

You don't want to foist your views on her (commendable), but you're fine with other people doing it (hmm)?

[AgentSchraeder]

Balanced and informed might be learning about ALL religions and philosophies, rather than having a small child learn about just one, in my narrow minded opinion.

[Hakluyt]

Wow, GotAnotherQuestion- why not tell us what you think?

[Back2Two]

Wow.
gotanother do you see how ridiculous your last post was?
You seem to forget you have never set eyes on annie but feel justified in slagging off anyone you don't agree with on this thread whilst stating (as if you have super powers) that It's obvious you're a very loving and caring parent who is bringing up her child in a balanced and informed way.

Pray tell, (lol) how you come up with this knowledge?

[MissThang]

Wow there are some knobjockeys on this thread.

[TheNumberfaker]

Another wow for GotAnotherQuestion from me.

I don't really appreciate being called a blue bottle and a coward!

[Ememem84]

I don't see the problem here. She wanted to learn. You, because of your beliefs, or lack of, couldn't teach her. No problem with that. You're supporting her learning which is great. I don't see how else you could have supported this without "indoctrinating" (for want if a better word) - Sunday school? Church attendance (if you don't believe it'd be difficult for you )?

[Back2Two]

How does a person learn about anything? Internet? Talking? Reading?
Not necessarily by enfolding in a class/school

[Hakluyt]

I wonder what the status of faith schools is in Canada?

[Back2Two]

Surely, a more obvious and flexible supportive option would have been for your DD to go to church.

[TheNumberfaker]

Annie

This was from your opening post

My beliefs (or lack thereof) are my own and I want her to be able to make her own decisions rather than blindly following mine.

If you want her to be able to make her own decisions then surely you need to let her know about other religions and atheism too? As I and other posters have said previously, your DD will be immersed in Catholic ways and beliefs all day long at school. The balance is hugely tipped in Catholicism's favour.

[GotAnotherQuestion]

When will you lot learn to respect the OP?

She's made it crystal clear that she didn't come here to debate her decisions.

And yes, a parent who is allowing her child freedom to explore something for herself, is not a parent who lacks balance or care. That's why I know she is such a parent.

If the OP's daughter wants to pursue other religions then I have no doubt the OP will also allow that. But forcing her to either be denied that freedom (which some people seen to suggest), or force feed her every religion known to man, whether she likes it or not, is the type of parenting that would make it clear to me lacks balance.

I feel sorry for any poster's children who would not allow their child such freedom. Wha are you all so scared of? And no, don't bother answering.

Hak - you of all people should know better. Ou started a tread asking about respect and then you wade in here, ignoring the OP's request to only revive the support she requested in the opening post? Do you really want to know wha respect is all about or not?

I'm sorry if you all feel upset by being called a blue bottle but the point is that you're making a lot of pesky noise where it's not wanted. Not because I disagree with you but because you're not respecting the OP's constant request for her parenting strategies not to be criticised.

Don't you think the OP is probably having a tough time of it already? It's the hardest thing to release your child like that, when you've chosen a different path for yourself. But ask yourself the question - what is the worst that could go wrong?

If OP's DD became a devout catholic then what, she can't have a fulfilling life? I doubt it. My next door neighbour is an amazing woman and she is catholic, so it hasn't harmed her in any way.

No, I think it's just sour grapes. You're not content to follow your own path you want to put obstacles in everyone else's way too. Why not try and have a little respect and don't upset the op when all she's asked or is information about pursuing HER choice.

[LadyWithLapdog]

That's quite funny. The call for respect whilst insulting others.

As I see it, OP has a billion choices to find out what Catholicism is all about. Perhaps as the adult she should have researched this a bit more before allowing a child to take this path? Please note how polite I've been all along and refrain from abuse.

So I don't see the point, really. I'm sure the school will he only too eager to show the OP how to support her DD.

[GotAnotherQuestion]

Well if the cap fits, wear it!

[Hakluyt]

I replied to the OP. My post was not "wading in" or disrespectful or anything of the kind. Please read it before you attack.

Having read the whole thread, I notice that the OP said nothing about not wanting any discussion until after her initial post had been questioned.

Nobody has been rude, overly challenging or disrespectful. They have questioned her choices. If you start a thread in the way the OP did, I don't think you can then start policing the replies.

However, it is very refreshing to see somebody fighting for the right of atheists to have the same respect that theists routinely expect!

[GotAnotherQuestion]

Hak - it is the PERSON that deserves respect. Not whether they share your same viewpoints.

Are you a parent? If so you will know it is a guilt trip from start to finish. It is clear that the OP has been made to feel uncomfortable to the point of questioning whether she will return to MN for support again. You haven't all changed her course of action but have managed to ostracise her with your refusal to respect her wishes to just offer the SUPPORT she requested.

And if you reread the OP you will see she says she is "finding it hard". That was before you lot waded in and made it even harder.

[JodieGarberJacob]

I thi

[GotAnotherQuestion]

And yes it is RUDE to ignore clear wishes for support only, and it is DISRESPECTFUL to trample on someone's request to back off.

I really hope you wouldn't do this in RL. Especially when it's clear someone is already struggling. You don't need the OP to spell it out, but she does, so there is no excuse.

[Hakluyt]

I did not wade in. I commented. There is a difference.

She said nothing about finding it hard. She said she didn't know how to do it and asked for information. She did not appear to need support or help except in a practical way. It seems to me to be entirely reasonable to suggest that there are other ways to support her daughter's faith.

[Enjoyingmycoffee1981]

I'm with you faker.

[TheNumberfaker]

Got you are the only one that has been rude on this thread. I do believe you called me a blue bottle and a coward!

I have posted on many threads over the last few years, earlier ones using a different name. Sometimes you have to ask more questions to get the full picture. For example, I can remember asking how old someone's child was that they were trying to potty train, and then whether they were showing any signs of awareness because that would affect the advice needed. (Child is under two, no signs of bowel/ bladder awareness so advice was to leave it for a few months.)

From the information given by the OP it seems her DD has been to one Catholic christening and has asked questions about God and Catholicism. She wants to learn more. Ok so going to Catholic school will achieve that, but it will also indoctrinate her.

Is it such a bad thing to grow up as a Catholic?

Obviously not for your neighbour Got but what about the millions who get Aids because the Catholic church refuses to support condoms, the women subjected to terrible abuse in the Magdalene laundries in Ireland, the millions of women deprived of control over their own bodies...

[GotAnotherQuestion]

The original post says: "My problem is that, as an atheist, I am finding it very difficult to engage with her..."

She then writes later:
"Faker I started this thread asking for information about how to best support my DD's faith. At no point did I ask for others to share their opinions of Catholicism nor did I ask for this to turn into a theological debate. It was a simple thread with a sime purpose.

See the words information to support? There it is for anyone who hasn't seen it.

Should you wish to discuss the concept of indoctrination I would suggest you start your own thread and stop trying to derail mine."

But people continued to wade right in there anyway. So the OP had to explain it further, again.
"What the hell is wrong with MN? I asked a relatively simple question and two people have felt the need to slate me for it. I don't give two shiny shits whether you agree with my decision as a parent. It is obvious that your main purpose here is simply to mock religion and anyone who dares expose their child to it.

How perceptive of the OP. What a shame you still didn't listen and respect the intention of her original request.

Thank you to those who offered an answer to my question. I am backing away from the thread now. I really don't feel up to having my parenting skills punched."

And there you have it. Pushed out from MN because of a few bullies. What is it they say about bullies and cowards? That was my point. And that's why I won't stand by and see someone trample all over someone else and not challenge it. I'm sure the OP can stand up for herself but sometimes it just needs to be said.