Shirley's party advice thread part 2

[stealthsquiggle]

...can I take the liberty of starting another thread, since the other one filled up?

[Tinkerisdead]

Ahhh shite i wanted to do chilli jam i completwly forgot. Reckon dh'll like it more than onion marmalade. How long has it taken to make as i still have jars spare and dh is away until tomorrow.

Ooo what is it with kids. Remember mine was struck down before her party. Second alternating the calpol and nurofen. Bet she comes down with nasty cold. Mine did. Then we all did. Including the guests but tough tits to them, i'd worked too hard on that party.

[ShirleyKnot]

I will sort the ovenable PP recipe tonight.

Sherbert vodka - I would do 750ml vodka and get 3 bags sherbert lemons. You will deffo need 2 bags (smash em up before putting in the kilner jar) and then taste once it's done (if it needs more sweeties, you've got the third bag to fall back on)

[Blatherskite]

She's stomping round the lounge in an old pair of DS's slippers that are 2 sizes to big! She adores them and insists on wearing them - apparently, her feet are cold! The rest of her is burning up!

On the plus side, I have made 60 gingerbread bears today between runs to the garage and poorly girl snuggles. That's 2 each per child plus 6 spare!

House is still a tip but the party will be fine. Just hoping DD isn't too poorly to come

[BerryLellow]

Chilli jam didn't take long at all, couple of hours? I did a lot of faffing too!

3 bags it is then, I'll get it tomorrow. Probably. And then report back!

Hope dd stages a rapid recovery blatherskite

[BerryLellow]

Has anyone made the gingerbread from nigella Christmas? I've been eyeing it up all week.

[FellatioNelson]

Ah. Now I know the offical meaning of your name Blathers I think it is perfect for me. I never shurrup but it's mostly hot air and twaddle. Want to swap?

[FellatioNelson]

[CupOfGoodCheer]

Please can I have some party help from you lovely ladies?

DP and I are getting married next year, in July. We want a teeny tiny wedding, and are subsequently getting married in the local registry office on a Friday morning, then going for a nice lunch. 16 invitees total.

However, the only way I have managed to get my DM on board with this is by promising them that they can throw a huuuuge party on the Saturday night.

Currently we have over 100 possibly being invited, a marquee in the garden, a rock and roll type live band and a buffet. Basically my parents are paying so they can have (imo) pretty much what they like.... BUT

DP and I don't want there to be any kind of wedding reception-y feel to it at all. Its a party to celebrate a wedding, but NOT a reception, iyswim! However, DM is now chuntering that some of the guests will be coming an extremely long way (DP is German and even though we are also having a party in Germany, some of his friends/family want to come along to the UK knees-up too) and they will expect some sort of wedding-y type "fuss". She is also stealthily starting to suggest such wedding accoutrements as a seating plan, a wedding list, a Big Dress etc etc.

My question is, how do we make it special enough for those travelling long distances (and spending lots of money) without compromising too many "principles"? We are totally adamant that there will be no first dance (DP would curl up and die), no cake, no cheesy colour scheme, no dress code (although I'm considering re-wearing my very simple wedding dress as "people will expect to see you in it"), speeches (except my Ddad will give a short welcome speech, including some in German for DP's family).

Oh, and question number 2, can you think of any way to get the German contingent feeling more involved? At the moment they feel that their noses are being a bit pushed out, but I've no idea how I can include them in something happening 1000 miles away! I'm not even really organising anything much myself at the moment, as DM has gone into wedding-planner mode!

Sorry this is so long, but does what we have planned sound ok? I'd really appreciate anyone's thoughts!! Thanks x

[FellatioNelson]

I think you should have a dual-nationality buffet with typically English food and typically Geman food. Perhaps have British flags and German flags crossed/linked around the room, and as it's in the garden get a football match going of German V British. Perhaps you could have teams including women, children etc so it's all light-hearted fun and not too competitive.

[FellatioNelson]

Or do the marquee up as a beer keller.

[CupOfGoodCheer]

That sounds interesting, Fellatio.

Maybe it would be better to start a bit earlier and kind of manage it a bit more. Tbh I was just going to open the bar about 6, buffet at 7:30 and let everyone get on with it.

@ the bierkeller, DP would certainly feel right at home!

[CupOfGoodCheer]

There's also only about 16 German people coming to the party, and a ton of British friends.

Do you think we should "give in" to DM on having a seating plan to ensure people mingle, or let the German contingent stick together?

[stealthsquiggle]

CupOfGoodCheer would your DM have a complete melt-down if you turned it into a mini-festival? I am thinking get a couple of local bands, and maybe do a barn dance / Ceildh (sp?) ? More of a general chilling-in-a-field (or garden) vibe than a stuffy wedding one? DrsW's idea of "fairground food" would work well for that - mini-stalls rather than one buffet?

(this is all fantasy party planning, BTW, as I have never done anything on that scale )

[stealthsquiggle]

...ooh and if you had food "stalls" then the German contingent could plan a couple of their own without anyone imposing stereotypes on them??

[CupOfGoodCheer]

Ohhhh that might be a great idea stealth - DP is a musician so it would be right up his street!

Money would be a worry, as the band we've got are costing about 1200 quid. Wild horses wouldn't make DP play. The Germany party will definitely be a ton of DP's friends all playing a small set each, so it could tie in quite well.

We could do something like a barn dance early on maybe, then segue into a rock and roll knees up come the evening?

Regarding food, I'll look into whether any caterers could do stalls. Or a bbq maybe?

[Tinkerisdead]

Yes!!! If its in summer you can do like a british summer fete rather than a wedding. Fair ground fodder, bunting, candy floss etc etc. No need for a seating plan as very much a mingley affair. But if you do it pastelly coloyrs rather than brights it may feel weddingy enough to keep your mum happy. You dont need to worry about the german element as you could be making it a taste of british summer. Look on pinterest loads of 'rustic' ideas that would work for a british garden party/fete stylie. Damn it may steal that for my imaginary christening but my garden aint big enough.

[ShirleyKnot]

Oh stealth - you are too, too good at this!

[ShirleyKnot]

I like the Summer Fete idea as well! You could go quite shabby chic (if you like that kind of stuff) which can keep costs down...

[stealthsquiggle]

Is it too late to swap 1 expensive band for 2-3 cheaper (young and keen) ones, especially if DP is in a position to choose good ones?

Barn Dance with a good caller and a liberal sprinkling of children to bully the adults into taking part works well IME.

It would also give you an excuse to dispense with stuffy expensive bar and make it more of a beer festival bar if you can find a good local pub who would run it for you (or would that be a step too far for your parents?)

[CupOfGoodCheer]

DP is enthusiastic about farmer's market type food (he's a food snob ) and maybe starting mid-afternoon....

We could have hay bales scattered about to sit on, bunting.... maybe a footie match or something else which brings everyone together? Then maybe a couple of small local bands (cheap!) and have the main act starting around 7? They are also providing a DJ in with the price, who could play later on.

We'd also need bacon butties or something to eat later on, if people will be eating early.

Gawd I'll be hammered!!!

Maybe a more informal dress code might be needed?

[CupOfGoodCheer]

Not too late for anything, I don't think anythings been paid for yet. Maybe the marquee....

[CupOfGoodCheer]

Parents are pretty cool to be honest, in fact I think they'll love the idea as its a bit more of an "event" iyswim.

They'll possibly be worried about cost implications, although Ddad is being a star about it all (only daughter )

[CupOfGoodCheer]

Barn dance wouldn't be up DP's street I don't think, he HATES dancing

[Tinkerisdead]

My 'best' wedding i've been to was at a farm. I didnt even know the bride or groom (dh's golf buddy) so its remarkable that it was my favourite. It was at the brides uncles farm. Lovely canapes, flowers picked and put in vases and jam jars, bunting, homemade jams as favours. They had catering but desserts was this huge table where the families had made their heirloom recipes so 'mums sherry trifle' great aunt doris's chocolate cake. They had the recipes on luggage lables if you liked something to copy. Was a real summer affair, live bands and her dress was a prom style vintage lace number. Lovely.

I can remember all that and i cant for the life of me remember their names! How awful!

[LEttletownofBOFlehem]

Shirley- you really need to turn this into a business, you know.