18 year old daughter excessive demands

[Aloakes]

I'm a single parent with an 18 year old and 15 year old daughter. My 18 year old is at uni now, I always said I would help her as much as I could afford to. I was made redundant last year and out of the money paid for a car, insurance, MacBook for uni, moving in etc. I pay her mobile phone, she comes home on a Friday night with all her washing. Since Christmas I've been trying to get my finances in order so haven't given her as much as before Christmas, but I'm still giving her £100 a month. She herself earns over £400 a month. She's always got nice clothes and nails done etc. Anyway she's kicked off and is demanding £300 from me as I had to reduce what I was giving her. Tonight she came in from work threatening to take my bank card if I don't cough up the money, and always starts getting verbally and physically abusive. I always feel so weak and just take it because she's so aggressive you can't even speak. I dread her coming home to be honest. Tonight she smashed my hoover in temper, kicked me and then demanded I help her with her bags to the car. I snapped in the end and tried to put the bags out of the front door and shut her out. I started shouting back at her and even said I hated her I was so stressed . It turned physical and she tried to attack me and my other daughter broke it up. Eventually she left and I just felt exhausted. I decided to block her but I realise that she will be back next week and the arguing will start again. I feel she needs to realise that I'm doing the best I can but it's just not good enough in her eyes and even said she's just using me. I'm at the end of my tether. Are there any other parents that have children at uni and how much help are you expected to give ?

[RosemarysBush]

My two have max loan and son never asks for a penny. Dd will occasionally send a picture of some shoes for example saying “these are lovely aren’t they??!” If I feel she needs them I get them or send £ to her (only ever less than £40 ever few months).
She definitely should be able to manage without your handouts. It’s a perfect time for her to learn how to budget.

[DrinkFeckArseGirls]

Clearly not the answers the OP expected as she never came back.

[Thesnobbymiddleclassone]

Omg.

Take her key

Stop giving her money. You need it.

She can pay her own bills

[Sillyspuddy]

Thank you everyone for sharing your thoughts and experiences. It's much appreciated.

[Yulebealrite]

What have you decided to do then silly ?

[Yulebealrite]

silly/aloakes

[dartitus]

Jesus, I don’t even want to think of what my mum would have done to me if I treated her like that, I think she’d even go off on one if I demanded she did my washing every weekend.

[Dreamzcancometrue]

Your daughter sounds like a spoilt brat! I would never treat my mother like that. My mum couldn't afford me when I was at uni but thankfully I got loans and grants to cover the duration of my time at uni. I would of been grateful to even get twenty quid off my parents but back then money was extremely tight and I dont hold no grudge towards them.

Your own daughter using threatening behaviour towards you is not on and you need to step up and put her in her place. You are the parent she is the child. Stop giving her money and enabling her terrible behaviour.

[Sillyspuddy]

Well it's a tough lesson to learn but you're right.