Are the teenage years REALLY worse than the toddler years?

[itmustbewineoclock]

Really....really. People with teens keep on doing the shaking head knowingly thing when I talk about how hard toddlers can be. My theory is that they have forgotten as it's so long ago.

[SugarSkyHigh]

cory: "So to me, it isn't about teens or toddlers as such, it is about where that particular person happens to be in her life."

I love that,it is so true

[lotster]

[itmustbewineoclock]

Ok, thanks everyone. Some very funny and thought-provoking posts.
So, I guess it's likely to get harder. Yikes. Can't quite imagine that at the moment. I have 2 very full-on demanding toddlers(DD1, 4.11 and DD2, 3.2) and a baby (DD3, 1yo) who is developing attitude at a rate of knots. Boy, it's hard work. I guess I'll just have to enjoy and make the most of the intervening halcyon years. And start laying down some good wine for 10 years' time .

[Bonsoir]

I didn't find my DD difficult at all when she was a toddler. In fact, I adored the toddler stage.

My DSSs are both teens (15 and 12) and it is definitely hard and getting harder. And DSS2 will be a harder teen to parent than DSS1.

[tb]

We have a 12 year old dd who, since was 3 or 4 has been saying - 'you can't make me do it' so we've not really had a pause. Just now, she suffers from pmt too!!

We've just been hoping for a pause since she was 3, but it seems that we're not going to have one.

[purits]

"As one put it the other day, the day you realise you are actually a bit frightened of your 6 foot tall son is not a good one and just what do you do when they turn round and say 'make me'?"


I'm not scared of my six-footer. If he comes the 'make me' attitude then he gets it back in spades. He suddenly realises how much his mum does for him and is a bit more accommodating.
It's our job to teach them that the world does not revolve round them and everyone has to give&take.

[bruffin]

If my nearly 6 footer gives attitude - he gets tickled, usually works

[pagwatch]

I am also a bit at some of these.

My 6ft son is charming most of the time, polite all the time and would not, under any circumstances be rude to me. I would not tolerate it and he knows better.

We have had our share of problems negotiating his increasing independence and need for privacy, self determination etc. But he works hard, does as he is expected and, as a result, has a very nice life.

I am absoloutely not trying to sound smug. I understand that many fantastic parents of great children can have problems in the teenage years but the idea that it will always happen is total nonsense.
And I never have and never will feel worried about telling my son what to do while he remains a child/under my roof.

I treat him with respect and kindness. I expectthe same back.

My son aged 16 is way easier than almost every toddler I have ever met

[madamefreckle]

So any tips for forging good relationships to smooth the teenage years? I'm officially shit-scared.

[solo]

I have a 3yo and an almost 12yo and the toddler is far far easier!

[Shodan]

I have two boys - one 2.6, the other 14 yrs, and I can honestly say they are very similar in a lot of respects.

They both shout, they both tease each other, they both (atm) pick at their food, they both surprise me every day with their maturing intellects and abilities.

Ds1 still knocks on the door to talk to me when I'm on the loo, too.

So I'd say they're about the same, difficulty-wise......

Oh and ds1 knows full well that when he does get taller than me, if he tries it on, it'll be a case of 'mitts and pads on and into the garden with you, young man'. (evil )

[solo]

@ Shodan...my 11yo is about an inch shorter than me!

[Tortington]

i don't think any children are particularly nice until they are about 5. therefore in answer to the op, i think teenagers are quite nice

[Quattrocento]

Each stage my children have gone through, I've thought that this was the nicest stage IYSWIM.

There are more challenges with teenagers IMO, but more sensible conversations and interesting attitudes. You have to think more with teenagers, some of the time.

[mumblechum]

Agreed, Quattro, especially in the early morning school run when they're determined to have an indepth convo about politics/current affairs.

I sometimes wish he would just be quiet and let me daydream till I have my first coffee!

[bruffin]

I've got one like that mumblechum - the moment you get him in the car he wants philosophical debates or how he would redesign the air conditioning system in the blackwall tunnel.
Thankfully he gets the train to school

[OrmRenewed]

The difference between the two is whilst toddlers are hard work they never say 'I hate you, I wish I'd never been born' so at least you feel appreciated. Mind you no-one has said that to me....yet. But I seem to remember saying it a few times when I was a lass

I like teenagers by and large but from my experience with the children of friends they are very trying, expensive and can be just as unreasonable as toddlers. And you can't grab them and carry them up to bed.

[mumblechum]

I know, Orm, ds can not only pick me up he can pick his (rather chunky) dad up as well!

[DeborahDevonshire]

Agree with Quattro - I really am loving my dd being a teen.

There is no tedium like there was when she was younger.

I also don't have masses of bad behaviour - just a bit of stroppiness, but nothing severe. She is certainly not defiant.

The only thing that gets up my nose is her untidiness, but I have learnt to just count to 10 at the state of her room, and just make her gut it weekly.

You DO need to be there more emotionally. Ity was easier in one respect when she was younger. Now she has moments of self analysis and self doubt, and I need to give more advice.

One major downside - teenagers are VERY expensive.

But I wouldn't go back to when she was 2, dear god no.

[drloves8]

TEENAGERS ARE WORSE !
toddlers have temper tantrums - you pick them up and put them ina quiet place to calm down.
Teenagers have temper tantrums -they run out of the front door and stay out until god knows when and ignore your calls and txts then phone you at stupid o clock to come and get them, then tell you they have lost their keys so you have to take the following day off work to get the locks changed.
Toddlers come home from parties covered in chocolate and excited.
teenagers come home from parties drunk.
pity there isnt a fast forward button on kids , then we could just skip the difficult bits !

[drloves8]

congratulations thesecondcoming !