sorry grumble grumble grumble!!!!!

[pinchmeimustbedreaming]

iv absolutely had it! when my son was born i suffered with pnd and although i nipped it in the bud really quickly it took along time to build myself up to be a really strong, confident good mum.
we spent the weekend with my dad and step mum and they were constantly undermining me, mainly for the sake of an easy life and save face in public. me on the other hand couldnt care less what the general public think and if iv told my boy to put his coat on he WILL do as hes told.
i really thought it was just a mil thing but obviously not.
our ds 2.8 is as godd as gold with the odd bit of terrible 2's chucked in for good measure. everyone comments on how hes so well behaved and how hes so bright (doing his abc 123 shapes and colours perfectly). i really hate it when they dont think to themselves that my dh and i are really good parents so leave us to it, no, they have to but in and undermine us like we ar still kids ourselves.
after the weekend our ds has been a little more badly behaved which is fine i can deal with that but hes seen how dad and smum have been with me and now tells me he hates be, doesnt love mummy anymore i cant even change his nappy or get his juice or food for him, he hates me so much, my confidence is so low now, i dont want to go back to that dark place i came from

[cloudedyellow]

Congratulations!

[pinchmeimustbedreaming]

thank you both. this weekend i feel so much better about things, my ds doesnt hate me hahaha, i can deal with his change in behaviours and although it hurts i know it wont last. just felt so small and irrelavent that my parenting had a little wobble. i shouldve known better that no-one can care and love my ds like my husband and i. also as nice as it is for tots to be spoiled by gp they do want and need stability and boundaries to feel secure in this world. cant believe i was so weak like that, very unlike me. maybe its the hormones as i found out wed i am expecting dc2!!

[cloudedyellow]

Sorry you're feeling low pinchme.

At 2.8 I don't suppose your little ds really understands what he is saying when he says he hates you. Of course he doesn't. He's just experimenting with words and is interested in the reactions of others, especially you! It must feel rather powerful for him to be able to control you a little..
I wouldn't take it very seriously, although I know it hurts you.

I think if he says it again, I'd try to make it into a bit of a joke or something playful, as in, "Well, I love you so much that I'm going to give you a very big tickle.." That sort of thing, to make him laugh and distract him.

I'm sorry your dad & stepmum are so undermining. It could be that DS has started to behave differently after the w/e because he has been in a strange environment and had more attention, I guess, which has stimulated and excited him, rather than he is taking his cue from them (which I think you are suggesting). I don't know of course, I wasn't there!

I would see it as a healthy thing for him to be trying out new behaviours and a little rebellion. He needs to know you can survive his 'rejection'and still love him. I'm sure you can. You sound like a great mum.

[tiggergirl]

g is the same at temper tantrums and same age he misbehaves out i still fine a step to sit him on and insist he does as i have asked i get no and things chucked at me once grandparents have been done as they treat me like a child which i annore but it does get to you . you just need to stick to your guns you sound like you done really well and taught him lots you should be proud at least you teach and enjoy your son unlike some parents in the world . chin up