Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Unflip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Unflip

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

1 2 3

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

Is it selfish of me to keep my daughters hair long ??

52 replies

mummyloveslucy · 31/05/2009 19:15

Hi, my 4 year old daughter has nearly waist lenth wavy aubern hair, which she is regularly complimented on.
It's just that it gets so notted. Every morning it is a nightmare to brush, it really hurts her, and she screams and crys. It feel sas if I'm torturing her every time. I've tried the tangle teazer, salon strenth little sprout conditioner for problem hair. Nothing seems to work. I know it would be better for my daughter if it was a lot shorter, but my husband and MIL tell me not to as it looks so nice. Surely my daughter not being in pain every time it's brushed is more important?
I know it does look lovely, but I feel as if I'm not doing what's in my daughters best interests.
Should I have it cut, what do you think?

OP posts:

Report

belgo · 03/06/2009 07:49

that's good

19fran76 · 02/06/2009 22:04

Aw! Glad you & your daughter are happy with the results

mummyloveslucy · 02/06/2009 19:31

She's had it done!!!

It looks gorgeous and really suits her little face. It's like a long bob to her sholders and it's layered and shaped under her chin. It does still look very femanin.
I can't get over how much it suits her.
She really enjoyed the experience and all the attention.
I've kept the long ponytail that was cut off.
She is very happy with her new hair and can't stop looking in the mirror. (bless)
More importantly though, we will now have lovely stress and pain free mornings.
Thanks to everyone for your advice, so glad we took the plunge.

OP posts:

ramonaquimby · 02/06/2009 14:02

waist length hair on anyone rarely looks good.

I'd def cut it, much easier to maintain and look after. am sure she'll look cute

I have 3 girls and dd1 is only one with long hair. other 2 have bobs - really suits both of them. short hair on girls can be very feminine too!

Reallytired · 02/06/2009 13:49

I would go for a shorter hair style. When she starts full time school it will be easier to keep nit free.

belgo · 02/06/2009 13:43

Maybe ask your mil if she wants a lock of your dd1's hair.

Both my mother and my mil were disappointed that I didn't keep a lock of dd2's curls.

Dalrymps · 02/06/2009 07:55

Ah sorry for teaching you to suck eggs then . Glad you've decided and dd is in agreement

Uriel · 01/06/2009 19:33

How about taking a photo of your dd before her hair's cut and giving a copy to Mil?

mummyloveslucy · 01/06/2009 19:26

Hi, yes, I already do it that way. I've had long hair all my life so I know the nack.
I've spoken to my MIL and she now thinks it's for the best too.
ai asked my daughter this morning if she wanted it cut to get rid of the tangles and she said "Yes, cut it now please".
I think that settles it.

OP posts:

Dalrymps · 31/05/2009 22:11

Sorry if you already do this, seems a silly question but, do you brush her hair from the roots or starting at the bottom and working your way up?

Apparently if you brush say the bottom few cm then start a few cm higher and brush again and keep doing that till you get to the top it hurts less. Also helps if you hold the hair at the roots whilst doing this. Sorry if you already do this.

mummyloveslucy · 31/05/2009 21:55

Sorry, I'm having problems with my computer. It's posted the same thing loads of times.

I've just told my Husband and he thinks it's the right decision too. Now it's just the MIL.

OP posts:

mummyloveslucy · 31/05/2009 21:53

My daughter loves clips and alice bands. That should be fine then.
Good point about a lifetime to suffer for your appearance. A 4 year old shouldn't have to.
I've made my decision. I hope I won't regret it.

OP posts:

hester · 31/05/2009 21:49

I don't get the really long hair thing, myself. Mostly, hair looks at its best at just below shoulder length, and then starts getting straggly/knotty.

She's only 4: her hair should be practical. Get it cut - you won't regret it!

Sycamoretreeisvile · 31/05/2009 21:49

You won't regret it, and if you do, you will pinch yourself very hard and remind yourself she has a lifetime to be vain and worry about her appearance.

Right now, it's more important she climbs trees, chases bees and all without worrying about the honey getting stuck in her hair!

mummyloveslucy · 31/05/2009 21:48

My daughter loves clips and alice bands. That should be fine then.
Good point about a lifetime to suffer for your appearance. A 4 year old shouldn't have to.
I've made my decision. I hope I won't regret it.

OP posts:

mummyloveslucy · 31/05/2009 21:48

My daughter loves clips and alice bands. That should be fine then.
Good point about a lifetime to suffer for your appearance. A 4 year old shouldn't have to.
I've made my decision. I hope I won't regret it.

OP posts:

mummyloveslucy · 31/05/2009 21:47

My daughter loves clips and alice bands. That should be fine then.
Good point about a lifetime to suffer for your appearance. A 4 year old shouldn't have to.
I've made my decision. I hope I won't regret it.

OP posts:

seeker · 31/05/2009 21:43

Get it cut. Tomorrow. She doesn't care whether it's long or short, but she doesn't like it being brushed. Don't even think about the feminine thing - she's 4. Get it cut.

Overmydeadbody · 31/05/2009 21:43

Just cut it!

Thre is no need for her to have such long hair, especially if it's causing tears.

Sycamoretreeisvile · 31/05/2009 21:35

I had to give myself a good hard talking to on this score about 5 months ago. DD is nearly 4 - she was scritching every morning having her hair brushed, and I bought on of those great tangle tamers too.

I felt she had a lifetime as a girl/woman to have to faff over her appearance. Make up, shaving etc etc. I thought, she's 3 for heavens sake. Why should she go through this every morning? DS will never have to!

So I said, "DD, if you don't want to have your knotty hair brushed every morning we can simply cut it off, but you wont' be able to have bobbles etc anymore, just clips. Is that what you want?".

She was very firm in her yes. I booked an appointment and for the next two weeks kept asking her, and every time she said yes, cut it.

I cut it into a chin length bob. It was the best thing we ever did. She loved it and mornings are so much better.

She can grow it out again when she's 6 or so if she wants to.

mummyloveslucy · 31/05/2009 21:09

You could have a look at her pictures if you click on my name. I don't think there are any recent ones though.

OP posts:

mummyloveslucy · 31/05/2009 21:07

I suppose it's because I had long hair and just see it as more femanin. It's sucha lovely colour too.
When I had my hair cut to sholder length, it flicked out in all directions. I have to streighten it every day. I obviously don't want to do this for my daughter.
I think a shorter style would enhance her features more though.

OP posts:

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

seeker · 31/05/2009 20:53

Why do you want it to be long?

fluffles · 31/05/2009 20:48

if her hair is wavy/curly and you are brushing it as if it were straight hair then go here www.naturallycurly.com to find out how to look after it more like genuine curly hair. (there's a forum in 'curltalk' specially for parents of curly haired kids)

my hair was brushed as a child but as an adult i've discovered that it is much better condition and less tangled if i treat it like curly hair.

mummyloveslucy · 31/05/2009 20:42

I also work nights and often my daughter is with my husband on a nursery morning. He refuses to brush her hair and can't even do a pony tail. I've tried to teach him.
So basically, I have to do her hair in plaits the night before and that's how it stays all the next day.
It's not good.

OP posts:

Unflip

1 2 3

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.