what is better - not allowing any sweets at home or allowing them but having a 'first eat your food' rule?

[girlsallaround]

which will help them develop better habits?

[TeeBee]

Piss up yer kilt yer wicked witch

[TeeBee]

I am at my most eloquent at this time of night, as you can see.

[Elkat]

My eldest DD is now almost 5. She didn't have any sweets or choc until she was almost 3, we didn't make a big deal out of it, we just didn't eat them in front of her, and so she had no concept of what they were until then. We now have a chocolate tin, and when she asks for them, she is allowed, but she asks so rarely that its still full of easter eggs. She does ask more frequently when we go round the shop, and I'll usually let her buy a 15p chocolate bar etc, but our rule is that it has to be saved for home (don't like her eating anything whilst walking), and 9 times out of ten, she has forgotten about it when she gets home. I think she likes the idea of chocolate more than the reality iyswim! So our approach has been no chocolate early on in life (with DD2, that's not possible, so we just restrict it) and then when she's older we take a more relaxed attitude, but she rarely asks at home, tends to have it more when she sees her friends having it out and about at soft play once or twice a week. I try to have a more relaxed attitude to it now, and DD knows its there if she wants it, but I find she rarely asks, and if it is an inappropriate time, distraction usually works.

[seeker]

It all goes out the window when they are old enough to go to the shops by themselves and spend an entire week's pocket money on mix-ups!

I was very precious with dd - less so with ds. He has a very sweet tooth, she doesn't. I really don't think anything you do as a parent has any impact on their sweet eating habits once they are out of your direct control, so do what makes you feel better.

[Bringbackmybonnietome]

Jeez.

People make life compliacted.

Give them sweets, but not all the time.

Apply common sense.

[Morloth]

The problem with common sense is that it isn't that common.

[Bringbackmybonnietome]

Indeed.

[AbbeyA]

Very true Morloth!
I agree with seeker, parents think that they make an impact with their method but they don't have any! DCs have a sweet tooth or they don't-it has nothing to do with what you gave them early on.
(I see we are both still wasting time on here seeker, despite good intentions!)

[Bringbackmybonnietome]

OK, common sense:

All kids like sweets. (except the weirdy ones who don't)

If allowed they'd eat too many and negelect the good stuff.

If denied they will become fixated upon attaining the unattainable for at least a period.

Either way, unless you are a complete moron of a parent who goes to either extreme, in the end they will probably be adults who still like sweet stuff but have enough sense and control to regulate thier intake due to knowledge about food.

Some will be better at this than others, but it will probably having nothimg to do with whther you did/didn't give them chocalotae at 2yrs, and lots to do with other stuff.

helpful?

[Blu]

I have no 'rules' at all.

If I fancy a bit of choc, I will ask DS if he wants some too. If there is an occasion on which we might stop and get a small amount of choc we do (a long long wait at hospital, a snack half way round the zoo...)
i.e DS has sweets in exactly the same circumstances I do. Not as anything 'celebratoy' or big deal, and if he has ever asked for them when we are about to eat or something i just say 'not now, er're having tea' or 'not today'.

Once when he was 2 or 3 I gave him some choc buttons in the middle of his tea. He was eating spag bol, spotted packet of buttons the other side of the kitchen, hankered for them, gave him one or two, and he went back to his spag bol undistracted. Other mother present nearly fell through floor...but DS never wheedles for sweets now. Maybe innate, maybe habit.

[littleshebear]

We have official sweets, ie ones bought by parents, twice a week, on Saturday and Tuesday(because that's the day I pick them up from school!) They can have fizzy drinks, in practice coke, instead of sweets if they want and my 2 eldest usually do. Then if anyone brings/gives sweets I just let them eat them. My sister is the prime offender but they only see her about every 2 weeks and she doesn't always bring them.I don't buy them and keep them in becuase I would eat too many and so would they. Nor do I say they have to save them until after tea unless said sister has turned up literally just before.

I think you have to apply common sense.I wouldn't let them eat loads every day but I would not be very restrictive either - I am not about any food. None of them have any fillings or are obsessed by sweets so I think it works for us.

[prideandprejudice]

Trying to be sensible about it - I keep Haribo in the house and they can have a few now and then. Not organised enough to have a strict regime so they have them as pudding sometimes, sometimes as a treat, sometimes just because. Difficult though as I have a real sweet tooth so I really sympathise with DS (age 6) - I remember the cravings as a child very clearly! His teeth are fine though (dentist said so yesterday) so I usually think oh why not? He eats everything else really well though, veg, fish, fruit, the lot, and is always ravenous. Might feel differently if he rejected other food. DD (age 2) actively prefers savoury things so it's been less of an issue with her - might well change as she gets older, but DH never eats sweets so you never know. DS and I sometimes go the cinema together and buy a bag of sweets to share - he never wants DH to take him because DH can't see the attraction of the sweetie counter!

[dandycandyjellybean]

We had a very strict no sweets/goodies/treats rule when I was growing up. I stole someones dinner money coz I was so desperate to have some sweets to share with my friends who always shared with me. I also developed an eating disorder, and my sister who didn't admits to weirdy food issues. Hence, we have a very relaxed attitude to all food. Ds is 2.9, has some kind of sweets or chocolate every day, there doesn't have to be a special time for them or reason. He will regularly not finish a Freddo or a full bag of buttons or sweeties, which I feel is a good indicator. I remember having to finish stuff, even if I was full up, coz i never knew when I might get it again iyswim. He's not at all fat and regulates his own appetite well, and eats a really wide variety of food.

[pointydog]

blu for king! blu for king!