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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

what is better - not allowing any sweets at home or allowing them but having a 'first eat your food' rule?

66 replies

girlsallaround · 02/09/2008 17:24

which will help them develop better habits?

OP posts:

Report

mloo · 02/09/2008 18:01

No sweets here since DD grabbed the entire stash we had in cupboard, sequestered in her room where I couldn't find them, nibbling when no one was looking, and denying the theft all the while -- took a while to pin it on her as there were other possible culprits in the house.

And that's without remembering the year when DSw scoffed the entire contents of everyone's Advent calendars on December 3rd.

Just easier to say sweets are only for parties and birthdays, for now on!

girlsallaround · 02/09/2008 18:10

i really agree with this 'should just be not a treat or a reward' thing and until recently have done well with just giving by dds food and treats whenever it came up.

however recently i have noticed that my dd1 is constantly asking for sweets, every single day. i don't want to say 'no its not allowed' or 'yes you can have them' or 'only after dinner'.....

not sure what the best route is from here....

(mind you when she was 2 and there was a birthday she would choose the carrot slices over cookies when it was her turn... but that is no longer....)

OP posts:

girlsallaround · 02/09/2008 18:10

i really agree with this 'should just be not a treat or a reward' thing and until recently have done well with just giving by dds food and treats whenever it came up.

however recently i have noticed that my dd1 is constantly asking for sweets, every single day. i don't want to say 'no its not allowed' or 'yes you can have them' or 'only after dinner'.....

not sure what the best route is from here....

(mind you when she was 2 and there was a birthday she would choose the carrot slices over cookies when it was her turn... but that is no longer....)

OP posts:

girlsallaround · 02/09/2008 18:10

i really agree with this 'should just be not a treat or a reward' thing and until recently have done well with just giving by dds food and treats whenever it came up.

however recently i have noticed that my dd1 is constantly asking for sweets, every single day. i don't want to say 'no its not allowed' or 'yes you can have them' or 'only after dinner'.....

not sure what the best route is from here....

(mind you when she was 2 and there was a birthday she would choose the carrot slices over cookies when it was her turn... but that is no longer....)

OP posts:

girlsallaround · 02/09/2008 18:12

sorry dont know how that happened

OP posts:

hecate · 02/09/2008 18:16

Offer raisins instead, or just say "No, not today." Or direct her to the fruit bowl. Whatever you choose to do, it should be done in a 'no big deal' way.

forevercleaning · 02/09/2008 18:19

mine have sweets at home and out. Never been a problem

FAQ · 02/09/2008 18:19

but aren't raisins just as bad for teeth as sweets? (sure I read that a few years ago)

forevercleaning · 02/09/2008 18:20

yes i believe you are right FAQ loads of sugar in raisins

ajm200 · 02/09/2008 18:22

I think a few sweet at home occasionally aren't a problem. If they are banned, they become a must have when they get the chance to buy their own.

I also don't think any sort of food should be given as a treat or to make them feel better.

DP overeats on cake and sweet stuff and having seen his mums attitude to food and sweets I can see why..

I was always bought sweets and junk to make me feel better when I was little and can easily lapse into comfort eating...

Mutt · 02/09/2008 18:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hecate · 02/09/2008 18:23

Are they?
whoops.

Well, there goes MY chance to win Mother of the Year.

Again.

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 02/09/2008 18:23

In my family there was a mad rule that no sweets were allowed except on Sundays.

Come sunday, m,e my siblings and cousins would all be dashing to the sweet shop and got hyper on sugar.

I don't have rules, just never keep sweet stuff in the house. I don't really like chocolate or sweets anyway. Just occasionally the DC have them, but they don't really ask.

Mutt · 02/09/2008 18:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrsgboring · 02/09/2008 18:38

I think we can overstate the case for having a "healthy attitude" to sweets, food etc.

Most people will go a bit mad on sweets etc. occasionally. Most people will comfort eat at some point - to some extent it's a natural response to delicious sugary things which your body craves. IMHO it can of course be exacerbated by poor parental practices, but would exist in most people anyway.

We do "Saturday sweets" - DS is allowed to choose sweets to save for after Saturday lunch. It works pretty well (but is harder than when he'd never had sweets, up to age 2.5 or so)

When he is older, I think I will do a treat box for him (and any other subsequent kids who may come along). It will be filled once a week and if you eat it all in the first 20 mins that is your lookout. Worked really well in a friend's household - I remember being impressed with the system age 11 and slightly envious.

OneBoyOneGirl · 02/09/2008 18:40

like that idea mrsgboring, might pinch that :

Surfermum · 02/09/2008 18:42

We have a bowl of sweets on the sideboard. Normally filled at times like Christmas, Halloween etc, with contents from party bags, trips to Grandma's. DD doesn't make a pig of herself with them, in fact I can't remember the last time she ate one. If she asks and it's near tea time then she waits, if I feel it's a reasonable time to have them then she does. She hardly ever asks for them when out.

They're a bit of a non-issue and she can really take them or leave them. But maybe she's a bit of a weirdy freak, and I'd have had to do something a bit different if her attitude to them was different.

Morloth · 02/09/2008 19:45

Hang on, when we are talking about sweets and pudding etc - what exactly ARE we talking about.

We have pudding most nights after tea, though sometimes this is some yoghurt with honey, sometimes some fruit, sometimes a pudding pudding, sometimes ice cream etc. These things are dependant on tea being finished (though to be fair I do give quite small servings of both tea and pudding).

Sweets as in chockies/skittles type things? I don't keep them in the house (because I would scoff the whole damn lot), but if we are in the shops and he asks for them then I will usually let him (lots of things go into this decision though like whether he has been good, where we are going next and so on).

I find it best not to make a big deal out of it.

Though I do have a jar of rather old fashioned boiled sweets that if he picks up ALL of his toys in the lounge he can have one of. I may be giving him eating issues, but I feel confident I can afford the therapy (and in any case with US as his parents this will be the least of his worries)

TattooedGrrrl · 02/09/2008 19:49

i just work on an 80 / 20 rule. 80% of the time, they eat 'well'- fruit and veg, low fat, low salt / sugar etc. 20% of the time, sweets, biscuits whatever are fine.

I think it's a balanced approach, so treat foods aren't always on offer, nor are they forbidden.

Goober · 02/09/2008 19:53

I have a big jar of sweets which my DCs are allowed every other day, after tea.
If I need to punnish them a sweet ban is effective.

TeeBee · 02/09/2008 20:46

We have a 'sweetie day' once a week, and they are allowed to have anything they want and sometimes we visit special sweetie shops. I tend to try and get them when it won't interupt a meal so they can have them there and then. They enjoy their day each week and don't pester me (too much) on other days. I don't lose too much sleep over it though, they eat generally well and brush their teeth afterwards so not too damaging.

Mutt · 02/09/2008 20:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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AbbeyA · 02/09/2008 20:58

I agree with Pointydog and the 'no strings'approach. I wouldn't call them a treat or use them as a reward or even have a set time.Good/bad food is a big mistake IMO. Sweets are just occasional thing that are around. It seems to have worked as DSs are now teenage and hardly ever have sweets.They will have chocolates if offered.

serin · 02/09/2008 22:26

Sweets are very random in this house. I don't buy them but Granny often turns up with sackloads!!

I do keep emergency lollipops though in case of splinters, stubbed toes etc. They are in the first aid box

TeeBee · 02/09/2008 22:38

Thanks Mutt, but my kids, my way. It works for me, I was sharing my approach, not asking for your opinion of it. Sweeties are fun. They get bored of them after 5 minutes and I put them in the bin.

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