how do you split money between yourself and DH?

[deb21]

OK - thought I would post here as I don't know if its a bit personal to ask friends.

Before by DD was born, DH and I split everything (mortgage, bill, groceries) 50:50.

My paid part of maternity leave has just run out and I'm on SMP (440 quid per month).

I'm interested to know how much of this do other people keep for their day to day spends and how much goes into the household pot.

I'm just trying to discuss it with DH and he is hiding behind his laptop saying hmmm. I have suggested I keep 30 quid a week to cover my spends and put the rest in the mortgage pot - have no idea if I am being greedy or overly generous!

Would be interested to hear what other people do.

[KTNoo]

All joint money. I earn nothing, but contribute in a different way (that's what i tell him).

Never been an issue, but we have similar spending habits, as in we both hate shopping (he tells me I need to go and buy clothes!)

Can't imagine doing it any other way, although horses for courses and all that.

[Quattrocento]

This makes me laugh because DH insisted on the following arrangement.

Separate current accounts for all personal spending with a direct debit into the joint account for school fees, bills, groceries, etc. The direct debit has to be an equal amount. Savings are separately handled out of what is leftover from our current accounts.

The reason it makes me laugh is because DH insisted on this when we moved in together - at that time he earned twice as much as I did ... He didn't want me freeloading. Now I earn three times what he does, I think he'd like to renegotiate ...

But after all, fair's fair (HA HA!!!)

[deb21]

ha ha - like expats comment about housemates. I think that sums it up really, as we shared student house as friends before we started seeing each other. Thus we have slid into same financial arrangement even though were married (mortage and bills on joint account, everything else on own account).

I hate discussing money with him. Cant do it sensibly, get all flustered. I am crap, I know.

[Tortington]

well. i earn a wage and h earns a wage - we pay the bills, and then trusting each other becuase neither of us would go out and just spend a shit loadwithout consultation with the other, we would then spend what we need day to day.

these threads always make me crack up in disbelief

lady if you give youself only 30 and him the rest - he'll believe its his in time and you need to ask him for money.

words rod and back come to mind.

ijust dont get it - your in a committed relationship - committed enough to have kids and a mortgage - then you should be able to trust each other enough to have a fecking bank card and not go on www.gamblingisfun.com or www.shoes.are.essensial.com.

grrrrrrrrrrrr

[quickerthistimeplease]

What's his is mine and vice versa. Have just given up work to stay at home with DD. He earns far more than I ever would anyway and bought more into the marriage at the start (flat etc.) so is never going to equal but I had a bit of inheritance, redundancy etc. that went into the pot. I did keep some as 'my savings' but he does know about it. He knows I'm not extravagant so works out fine (but we are comfortably offer which probably makes it less stressful).

[MaureenMLove]

We both earn, we both pay the bills, we both spend whats left - simple.

[quickerthistimeplease]

And I'm in charge of paying all the bills, sorting out savings etc- it's just mainly his earnings I pay them with...

[thumbwitch]

We have our own accounts and a joint account - DH's salary goes into the joint account and I take out what I need to pay the bills, which all come out of my account still (have done for 13 years, have only been married for 1 so haven't bothered switching any of them over). My salary and then my SMP all went into my account - now SMP has finished, any money I earn goes towards paying off credit card bills; what I don't earn, I take out of the joint account.
DH also raids the joint account to pay off his credit card. Am very P/T at the mo and earn about 1/4 of what DH earns.

Couldn't possibly break it down into percentages, sorry!

[lizinthesticks]

What's mine is mine and anything else, well - that's mine as well.

[MsHighwater]

DH and I have had a joint current account since we got married. Our cash savings are in my name because he earns more than I do but is regarded by both of us as joint. It never occurred to either of us to do it any other way and the more I hear about other people's "pocket money" and arrangements with separate accounts, the more I'm glad of it.

[TattooedGrrrl]

I work part time, DH full time.(i've just gone back after extended maternity leave) The child benefit and tax credit goes into my account.

I pay:

Gas / electric
Groceries
Childminders
If i'm not too badly off, i chip in for other things, such as i paid 6mths car tax this month, and the dep on next year's holiday.

DH pays:

Mortgage
Council tax
Water rates
TV license
Most petrol
Phone/internet

We have our own accounts, never had a joint one. If i was short on maternity pay, DH just paid whatever it was.

[HensMum]

We're in the same situation as you as I'm on maternity leave and my SMP has just stopped.
When we were both working, we put enough into a joint account each month to cover household expenses. What was left of our salaries was ours to do with as we wanted but before DS was born we were trying to save so we both also paid into a joint saving account to cover this period when I'm not earning.
My personal account is now empty so we've agreed that I can take £200 from the savings to cover personal expenses for a bit. By personal expenses, I mean stuff like bus fares, toiletries, coffee/lunches, usual bits and pieces. When that's gone I'll just take some more. It's easier for us to keep track of this way.

[smartiejake]

We have always had a joint bank account right from when we got married. Never seen any reason to do it any differently.

[OrmIrian]

We need a certain amount in our joint account to cover food,bills,mortgage and some left over to cover big one-off things like car tax etc. We each pay a proportion of that from our personal accounts each month, proportion depending on how much we earn. In theory we should both have the same amount left. Other stuff gets paid for from our personal accounts as and when.

[WideWebWitch]

All money goes into one joint account. We both work ft oth.

[MrsTittleMouse]

Joint account.
It only works if you have very similar attitudes to money though, and neither of you will go and blow the electricity money on computer games or shoes.

[HolidaysQueen]

We tot up our bills (mortgage, utilities etc.) plus what we think we will spend on food, joint stuff and savings. We subtract that from our joint income to see what is left and then divide the leftover by 2 so we each have an equal amount of fun money and the rest goes into a joint account and ISAs.

So say I earned £600 and DH earned £400 so £1000 in total, and our bills & savings came to £800. That means there is £200 left over so we each get £100. So I pay £500 of my income into a joint account and DH pays £300 and we keep £100 each in our personal accounts for whatever we want to spend it on. That is our money to do whatever we want no questions asked.

I'm in a similar situation to you - about to drop to SMP from enhanced company maternity pay. I'll just pay much less into joint account from SMP but will still have same personal spending money as DH because we think it only fair that we continue in that way. We have been saving since I was pregnant to cover the shortfall so the joint account will be boosted by money from savings.

[motherinferior]

We have a joint account to cover household and child-related expenses. We pay into this from our different bank accounts - DP has AFAIK one, a personal one, into which his salary is paid, and I have two, a personal one into which my recent PAYE earnings went and my business one into which the bulk of my earnings will now return.

[Bronze]

Joint pot. I'm in charge though he's the earner but only because he wants me to be as he knows he's crap with money. We don't really have any spending money once expenses have gone out so we don't ten to have to worry about it but when we do its often something we can both benefit from or we get something of equal value each.

[Pinkjenny]

We are having a nightmare with this at the moment. We don't currently have a joint account, we have our own accounts, and I put some money (I work p/t) into dh's account every month to contribute towards bills.

We do nothing but argue about money, and I am truly amazed that most people seem to just have equal access to one account. Dh would spit!

[flowerybeanbag]

Everything is joint, but we each have a personal account as well, into which we transfer a set amount each month so we can manage our personal spending. We find it easier to monitor and budget that way.

[ninedragons]

Every penny of our money is joint.

[flowerybeanbag]

Oh, and the set personal amount bears no relation whatsoever to the amount we each bring in...

[Pinkjenny]

Flowery - this is what we are going to do. Because in dh's defence, I do tend to overspend,occasionally....