how do you split money between yourself and DH?

[deb21]

OK - thought I would post here as I don't know if its a bit personal to ask friends.

Before by DD was born, DH and I split everything (mortgage, bill, groceries) 50:50.

My paid part of maternity leave has just run out and I'm on SMP (440 quid per month).

I'm interested to know how much of this do other people keep for their day to day spends and how much goes into the household pot.

I'm just trying to discuss it with DH and he is hiding behind his laptop saying hmmm. I have suggested I keep 30 quid a week to cover my spends and put the rest in the mortgage pot - have no idea if I am being greedy or overly generous!

Would be interested to hear what other people do.

[chutneymary]

I also do the lion's share

[chutneymary]

We have our own accounts and our salaries go into them. We then do a direct debit into the joint account (which frankly is just another account for me), out of which I pay nursery, food, drink, holidays etc. DH tends not to use it as I do the loin's share of the domestic stuff around the house.

Mortgage comes out of my salary (as I get paid on 23rd of the month and DH not til 31st) then he reimburses me by direct debit. When I am on ML, he just sloshes more into the joint account for the unpaid bit.

[nannyL]

in responce to buying a BOAT

was in my old job and my bosses had agreed not to buy anything unnecessary...

she bought an oven dish and it dont go down well as was an unnecessary expense (le cruset)

the following day at the real welsh show he bought another brand new tractor

remember my mummy boss moaning to me (in a joking way) about her not being able to buy an oven dish that they needed, yet he thought it was fine to buy a tractor (they already had a perfecly functioning tracor < 1 year old!)

[pointydog]

we've always kept our own accounts. When I was part time and mat leave, dh just paid for most things.

[NorkyButNice]

We've always had separate accounts - I pay rent and childcare and he pays off the joint credit card bill each month.

We both earn good salaries, and approx the same amount, so I've never worked out if it's "fair" - we see each other's income as belonging to both of us anyway.

As it happens, we've just made my account joint, and he's going to transfer all his money into it, as it'll make shifting our cash back to the UK easier.

You definitely don't want to be in a situation where you have to ask for a handout from him.

[Fennel]

They go on racks. Built by DP. Such as you will see at a yacht club or watersports centre. The biggest shares the drive with the car. Two kayaks live by the climbing frame. etc. Our outside living space resembles one of those white trash Utah farmyards. But with boats rather than farm equipment.

[motherinferior]

How on earth can you stash 10 boats in your garden? I do concede that gardens in your rural idyll are somewhat more capacious than here, of course.

[deb21]

Really interesting to hear of how many different arrangements we all have - don't feel so 'abnormal' now.

For what its worth, we have decided to forget the whole 'spending money' idea. I'm just going to continue to pay my SMP into the mortgage pot, but take whatever I need for spends from DHs account. (well actually the joint account but I don't contribute anything to it at the moment so it is essentially his).

I'm pretty thrifty so I don't think he's too worried about it dissapearing in shoe shops. He's the one with the bad powertool/computer/electronic gizmo habit so I probably wouldnt sleep too easy the other way round!

[SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore]

i dont owrk as yet but am looking for pt time so dh has most of the money, well he brings in the most money.

we have three accounts, one joint account and a seperate account each.

all money and child benefit etc go into the joint account, all bills come out of the joint account. at the begining of each month we sit down and work out what bills will be going out, how much we need for food, how much dd1 needs for her dancing, if there is any special nights out planned for either of us we take that out too and what is left is halved down the middle and transfered into out individual accounts.

[Fennel]

Not trying to get into any boat-owning one-upmanship but if you count windsurfers I think we might be a 10 boat household. Havne't counted lately but definitely in that range. Some of them were very cheap.

[Fennel]

DP has a tendency to buy boats, he often comes back sheepishly with them. And when I complain the garden is getting cluttered up with them he ebays some and then stocks up again. all on joint money, but really it's the cluttering up of the garden I mind.

[SixSpotBurnet]

At DH's request, we don't split. He has his own bank account. I transfer a pretty large sum to it each month when I get paid. He does pay for the household shopping out of it, and he also pays for the broadband and the cable TV. I pay the mortgage, phone, leccy, gas, council tax etc.

[motherinferior]

You see, I can imagine Mr Inferior doing something not entirely dissimilar involving cars.

Actually, thinking about it, he has done things like that involving cars.

[WideWebWitch]

at buying a BOAT without asking! There are many things dh would be most welcome to buy without discussing it with me first but a boat isn't one of them!

[more]

We have one joint "pot of gold" which is not so golden at the moment .

[OurHamsterisevil]

Everything goes into and comes out of joint account in our case. Can't imagine doing it any other way

[Notanexcitingname]

We worked out roughly how much we need per year to cover everything, including holidays and Christmas, divide that into a monthly total that needs to go into the joint account per month. We pay in from our personal accounts to cover that, pro rata-ed according to our earnings. So when i earned more, I paid in more. When he earns more, he pays in more.

We have equal access to that pot for everyday spends, then personal stuff is from personal account. That way i don't have to pay for his unecessary powertool habit, and he doesn't pay for my Hobbs clothes habit. And a gift is a gift, not something bought with our own money.

It'd be the same if one earned nothing, but theh I think we'd make a personal spend arrangement too. Not sure how, though

[VictorianSqualor]

Oh, he also pays the rent, it looks like he doesn't pay as much as me there, but eh pays a lot more.

[VictorianSqualor]

I am a SAHM, but I get the child benefit and tax credits(altogether about £700 4-weekly), DH is full-time employed.

I pay council tax, water, tv licence and shopping, he pays gas, electric, telephone/internet, loans, credit cards.

We're both left with money at the end of the month, whoever has the most spare will pay for any extra luxuries or whatever. Also DP is crap with cash and never has any change whereas I am at home in a little village whose shop doesn't take card so always have cash, which means I normally end up paying for parking, or giving him change to take to college for tea/coffees, but if we need a few bits I'll drop him a text and he'll pick it up on the way home and pay for it himself so there is not real 'my money/your money' situation, just a basic agreement as to what comes out of what account.

We have opened a joint account recently though but I think we both like to be in total control of what we are spending/paying and you don't get that with a joint account.

[bamboostalks]

We have separate accounts, and both work full time. When I was on maternity leave, dh gave me money by ddebit every month. We pay for different things, I pay childminder and all food, he pays mortgage etc. He pays out more than me which suits me fine. I save more and pay it off mortgage etc or put in ISAs. I do not like sharing accounts, total financial independance is very important to me which is why I am back at work. It works brilliantly for us.