Am I mad to even contemplate a second child? Help please!

[artyjoe]

I was told 12 years previous that I couldn't have children, due to several new factors I tried again and now have a wonderful 2.5 year old. She is truly fantastic and I still cry for joy when she smiles and tells me she loves me...I also want to murder her when she's throwing herself on the floor screaming for 90 mins...although thankfully these are less frequent.

The main problem is I 'think' I'd like another for all the usual reasons, don't want DD1 to be an only child, we are old parents so she may be left in the world earlier than most, the love for this child is so immense surely it would be fantastic to have another...have had to come off the pill for various reasons and have no contraception choices left except to try for a baby or the snip..so to have or not to have is the question.

My daughter, wonderful though she is, still doesn't sleep through the night often. Last night was a 2am wake up and started her day at 5am...this is very usual for us. So I'm worried about the fact I've not slept for 2.5 years really and had a diabolical pregnancy, 8 months of total hell, and realise I could have exactly the same again, coupled with 2 nightly wake ups from DD1.

My husband and I are very strong in our relationship and he's very supportive, he's also a stay at home dad and I work from home so we live happily together 24/7 and our DD goes to nursery 3 days a week, finances are fine, but I have a lot of work stress.

I read threads on here about siblings hating each other and fighting and I'm just wondering if a second would be a blessing or a nightmare.

Part of me just wants to flip a coin but that can't be right either! I don't know what to do but with the contraception issue a problem, we really need to make a decision.

If I fell pregnant tomorrow my DD1 would be 3.5 years so the sleep thing could be better..but we thought that when she was 2!

My husband worries about when they are older and are going to different clubs, spreading time, shopping with two, etc and also that they might hate each other or that DD1 may stop being the fantastic child that she is.

Any advice or opinions? I don't know anyone who has 2 kids believe it or not, or older parents, I'm 37 and partner 46)...we don't have family so would be doing this with just the two of us.

[pixelchick]

Go for it. You're only just still at the right age, make the most of it.

Also, you're not looking at it long term. What if something happened to dd1? You'd never forgive yourself.

The sleep thing is something you can deal with and it will pass.

Stop procrastinating!

[ratfly]

I am constantly in this battle, though I wouldn't be TTC now, I do think about the future a lot.

The main problem is that my pregnancy (coupled with depression), birth and PND was SO awful, I can't imagine having another, much as I'd like to.

Those of you who had awful pregnancies with your first - was it like that with your second?