DS being tricked into watching porn

[Lemonyknickers]

I have 3 kids. Middle DS is 10, quite a childish 10. He has been quiet at school the last few weeks and I put it down to end of term tiredness. However last night he had put a letter on my pillow (we sometimes do this if he has something he wants to talk to me about but feels embarrassed). It was heartbreaking.
Turns out a boy at school has been describing porn to him despite him saying he doesn't want to know. Then this boy gave him a site link, apparently it was a Roblox game site, DS typed it in and.... It was porn. DS says he can't get the images out of his head and he feels ashamed.

I've told him not to feel ashamed it wasn't deliberate, that I can't get the images out of his head but they will fade. But I don't know what to do about this other boy.
A. Do I pleasantly and politely just say to this lad not to talk porn to my son and hope the crippling embarrassment of a mum mentioning it does the job
B. Tell the school
C. Tell the boys mum
Or all 3, though boys mum is not someone I find approachable.

[Arum51]

Yes, this is a safeguarding issue, not just around your ds, but also the child who tricked him into opening the link.

Some things are going on in that house that are inappropriate. Sexual boundaries have become fuzzy, and are being crossed. A big concern is that pornography is often used by adult abusers as a grooming aid. Abused children can then copy this behaviour in order to abuse other children.

As well as reporting this, I would also gently question your son further. He has been made to see things that he did not want to see. Has anything else happened that he did not want to happen?

[CaptainKirkssparetupee]

I really think social services need to know about this other child, massive red flags all over the place.

[Loulabelle25]

Email the school rather than speak to the teacher directly. At my school, it would be the head that dealt with this due to the issues around safeguarding. Unfortunately, things like this aren’t that uncommon amongst chn of that age and the head has likely dealt with an issue along these lines in the past. Chn deliberately, or inadvertently coming across porn, is becoming more common. However, the fact that we’re now it the holidays will make it harder for the school to deal the situation. As school it likely closed for the summer already, I’d probably also approach the parent of the other boy so that they are aware.

[Loulabelle25]

Also, it’s great that your son felt he could talk to you about it!

[MissLingoss]

I’d probably also approach the parent of the other boy so that they are aware.

I wouldn't. OP doesn't know in what circumstances the other boy came to see the porn. If it was at home, telling his parent may not be helpful. Much better leave it to school to deal with; they may be aware of issues the op doesn't know about, and can refer on to appropriate agencies.

[QueenOfMyWorld]

Split up over poo parties? Hmmmm

[HollowTalk]

I would phone the NSPCC, OP. If you want to do something tonight you could phone your daughter's friend's mum, but the NSPCC will give you good advice.

[Lemonyknickers]

I don't feel I need to react tonight, DS seems happier since telling me. The head is unusual in he has banned all phones on school premises because of unmonitored internet access, they have land lines available to students to call home so I think he will take it seriously.

All I know about father of the other boy is playground gossip so I'm not happy diving in and dealing with the mum in case it goes wrong.

Do you really feel I should contact the NSPCC directly?

[Imstickingwiththisone]

Oh dear i thought urban dictionarys definition of just wearing a top at a party a la winnie the pooh was odd enough.

Id go with option B and possibly C but that depends on how you think the mother would respond.

[Arum51]

Yes, call the NSPCC.

[Lemonyknickers]

I don't have any contact details for the mum so I'd either have to trawl around my other contacts asking if anyone had her details or grab her in the playground, neither are subtle or ideal.

(Perhaps it IS pooh party then and they just go woozzle hunting.... )

[CaptainKirkssparetupee]

Please just ring social services, this scooting around wondering if you should do this or that is ridiculous.
You are going to get people Shouting poo troll.

[Lemonyknickers]

Oh was that the reason for Queens use of . ?

No not a troll, perfectly happy for people to yell it, if they searched this user name they'd not bother and MN will see that this is one of many names over several years.

I didn't even think of the NSPCC, sorry Captain Kirk for being ridiculous. Did not cross my mind to invoke SS or it would have been on the list in my initial post. Therefore when others mentioned it I asked that they really thought it was important, you know posting on a forum for other views, taken the views on board and was going with them. Standard forum stuff I thought

[CaptainKirkssparetupee]

Yes I think so.

For what it's worth I don't think you are a troll, but at the same time surely you can understand this is an emotive subject and this other child's home life is showing red flags for abusive behaviours?

[Lemonyknickers]

I briefly mentioned poo (h) it wasn't the main subject, and I thought troll hunting was not allowed?

I did say I had concern for the other lad and was aware he was having a difficult time but I have absolutely no experience of SS or the NSPCC so was thinking more along the lines of the school giving support in terms of councilling and telling the parents. As said I've taken on board other people's opinions and will phone the NSPCC.

So thank you to the supportive people, I will contact the school and phone the NSPCC for advice.

[CaptainKirkssparetupee]

I don't think you are a troll.

[Lemonyknickers]

NSPCC have taken what details I have of the child and I have a reference number in case of anything further. My DS seems himself today. Thank you

[PolyKit]

I feel very sorry for you then NinJin.

OP good luck x

[donajimena]

You could have picked a non zombie thread to goad on lol nice try. Get back under your rock now dear.

[ZuttZeVootEeeVro]

loliconsunite, honey, if you think porn is just naked people, you don't know what porn is.

[WineGummyBear]

Zombie thread!