Boys who like pink- experience?

[calimommy]

I have a gorgeous 3.5yo boy who is full of happiness and has a wonderful enthusiasm for life. He has always been attracted to more traditionally 'girl colours' and often girlish toys. I don't mind this in the least as I really dislike overtly gender specific things and I tend to try to buy toys and clothes which are colourful rather than specifically 'boyish'. (I have two boys so far and I am expecting a third so they will have years of living in a male dominated household!) One or two family members have said jokingly suggested we are 'turning him gay' which I think I can say with most certainty that wearing one colour or another will not make a person either straight or gay... (eyes roll out of head).
So my dilemma was this: we recently had friends visit whose little girl has a pair of white sandals with pink flowers. My son desperately wanted sandals like those too and after some time we finally settled on a red pair, which could best be described as 'French' in style 😜 but I had a difficult moment when he found a pink pair he really wanted and I felt I had to discourage him from them. I simply said that 'really, pink is for girls and not for boys' which he accepted but he seemed so sad afterwards that I felt badly. I want to let him be little and free but I also don't want to leave him open to unnecessary ridicule by his peers. I often end up painting his toes because he sees me doing it and likes the colour, and a few other children have commented on that.
So I'm wondering, would you or did you buy the pink sandals and how did it turn out?

[redannie118]

Mine is 15 now and still loves pink, but is 6 ft 3, is goal keeper and also plays rugby !! The pink he wears now is mens t-shirt and dress shirts and it suits his colouring ( sandy blonde hair, green eyes )no one cares, really !! Oh he also had pink pram and dolly when little ;)

[histinyhandsarefrozen]

I was a total tomboy as a kid- had more "boys" toys and did more "boys" activities than my brother but no one ever worried I'd grow up to be a lesbian or manly!

There is far more acceptance (and encouragement) of girls wearing blue etc than there is of girls wearing pink.

Mm, I'd suggest that's because ridiculously society seems to think boys in pink = feminine and being a 'feminine' male is A VERY TERRIBLE THING.

[Theycalledmethewildrose]

I have a little girl who wants boy's clothes. Despite this thread saying that it is more socially acceptable/ok to be a tomboy, she gets odd looks when dressed like a boy which I tend to do inas girly a way as possible. I have had comments about 'confusing her'. She regularly says she wants to be a boy. Apart from it being socially acceptable for girls to wear trousers but not for boys to wear them, I'm not sure I agree it is a whole lot easier. I buy her transformers and other toys aimed at boys and I pass on the pink gifts she automatically receives to the charity shop.

[CMamaof4]

My son loved pink when he was little and loved wearing dress up dresses he was in them most of the time when I picked him up from nursery, I will never forget him putting on a Goldie locks dress when he was little and he loved it. That being said he adored dinosaurs didn't play with "girlie toys"
Now alot older he wouldn't ever be seen in a dress, It doesn't interest him in the slightest.

[Theycalledmethewildrose]

• not acceptable for boys to wear dresses I meant.

[JaxingJump]

I always think that the fundamental problem of all this is not that 'wearing pink doesn't necessarily mean someone will be gay' but that being gay is still considered to be such a problem that people are looking out for signs of it.

[ThatsNotMyMummy]

My eldest loves pink, I got a lot of pink polo shirts and shirts from vertbaudet for him.
He was well versed in the "it's just a colour" line. When he started reception they had a lot of discussions, with most of the class agreeing it's "just for girls". The cool boy of the class agreed it's just a colour so that helped.
He will still chose it now, but is aware of the perceptions which makes me sad as it is just a colour.

My advice, go with it don't make a big deal as it's not.

[PuntCuffin]

My 12 year old wears pink a lot. It suits him, and he knows it
He also knows how to respond to anyone being a twat and telling him it is a 'girl's colour' and can confidently explain about semiotics and how pink used to be a 'boy' colour.
He is most definitely a boy, spends most of his time doing 'boy' stuff like football, cricket and playing FIFA on his xbox.

[juneau]

DS2 is almost six and pink is still his favourite colour. It's just a colour, so why not? I wouldn't buy him pink sandals, but he does have his toe nails painted pink in the holidays. His six-year-old boy cousin is just the same - when they take their socks off they both have pink nails

[LonginesPrime]

My son is a teenager. He identifies as male and heterosexual.

His favourite colours over the years have gone from pink, blue, green orange and now back to pink again.

He has remained male and heterosexual throughout all of this.

I would have let mine have the shoes. He has picked out stereotypically 'girly' things in the past and had a bedroom full of winx club and my little pony posters at one point.

Obviously, his peers sometimes pick on him for his choices. But he knows who he is and he knows they're being ridiculous and that it's their problem, not his.

I don't even know how it would look to deny him freedom of expression and to get so worked up about something so minor - it just reminds me of the dad in Billy Elliot.

[gleegeek]

Your ds sounds lovely OP!
We didn't have these problems when I was little! There are many photos of me wearing 70s brown and short hair playing with prams, cars, lego, in the mud etc. I had broad tastes and no-one questioned whether I was a real girl. My best friend (boy) wore similar clothes to me but was more taken with the dolls/playing house type stuff.
We are both happily married with kids now so I don't think our tastes as kids had any bearing on who we grew into. Such a shame there are so many male/female choices to be made nowadays
I'm tempted to start making glittery light up shoes for all dc - narrow and wide fittings to suit all feet - in lots of different colours, clothes which are suitable for all - unicorns on blue, rockets on pink etc!

[HeadDreamer]

How about crocs? Is his feet big enough to fit them yet? They have some girly but not too girly ones. I don't let either of my DDs wear girly thin soled sandals. They have to be practical.

This is the pair DC1 has
i1.ebayimg.com/thumbs/images/g/svEAAOSwuLZY2SVI/s-l225.jpg

Would he accept this pink?
www.johnlewis.com/crocs-children's-classic-croc-clogs/p3158255?colour=Candy%20Pink

As you can see they at least are in the same style for both sexes.

This is the pair DC2 has
www.clarks.co.uk/c/Beach-Tide-Fst/p/26117424

Grey and pink so a bit less 'pink' but still has pink?

[BeyondUser24601]

Gleegeek, if you do, could I request some boxer shorts with mermaids on? That's what DS has asked for most recently that are impossible to find!!

[LonginesPrime]

Beyond, I feel your pain (I've been through times when only a purple seahorse birthday cake would do!).

Boxer shorts are pretty easy to make though - if you can find the fabric, you could make them or have someone make them for you pretty easily - my mother used to find lovely patterned fabrics and give them to a lady in our village who would make them into skirts for us!

[lazytuesday]

my son has pink glittery trainers. He chose them himself and loves them.
He gets nothing but compliments on them!! He is only 2 tho so a little younger than yours. He also has long hair and often gets mistaken for a girl (altho he also loves trains and trucks and often wears things with pics of these on)
Just let your son dress how he wants! You know you wont turn him gay or any nonsense like that. Guys fashion today is a lot more relaxed anyway. I see straight guys wearing jeans that are basically leggings and guyliner and pink shirts and glitter, all the time!!!
Sadly i dont see many men wearing skirts or dresses seriously (unless they do it all the time because they like to specifically dress as a woman and nothing else) but hopefully in the future that will change and everyone can just wear whatever they feel like that day without having their identity questioned over it.

[calimommy]

Thanks for all the responses x I know we are doing the best for him by letting him be himself. I just can't help but want to shield him from unnecessary teasing, if it's something within my control, but I also know that he needs to be able to stand up for himself. And yes, I agree with the poster who said that the crux of this issue is that society still believes that being gay is a worst-case-scenario.
And to the poster who proposed making sparkly boy shoes, I'll have a standing order please and can you also make some blue or green t shirts that have Peppa Pig not bloody George who they don't want, on them??? You've given me a great idea though about buying cheap white runners and letting DS paint them with glitter👍

[LonginesPrime]

You've given me a great idea though about buying cheap white runners and letting DS paint them with glitter

We should all do this.

[Allthebestnamesareused]

Pink is fine - crocs are not

[Allthebestnamesareused]

Oops posted too son.

Make heterosexual son (15) used to love pink, had surf dude long hair st age 5-7, did ballet and midern then (would deny it now) does football, rugby,ps4 etc now. Would still wear pink if he liked the item of clothing. There are pink boys stuff about such as polo shirts, dusky pink shorts (next and Primark)

[Ilovewillow]

My son, similar age loves pinks too and lots of glitter, his favourites are the glittery Elsa shoes in our dressing up box! I would've got the pink ones, but if you don't want overtly girlie shoes (I loathe all shoes with crap on them for my son or daughter), then maybe pink crocs or pink converse!

[ElspethFlashman]

I've found these Vans which are light purple and sparkly but classic in shape:

[ElspethFlashman]

And Blue Zoo at Debenhams have these navy glitter ones which I am sorely tempted by for DS:

[calimommy]

Those are very nice! And can defo be boys runners. These are the ones DS picked out. They come in several colours and I hope he likes them when they arrive because I quite like them too 😜 and might buy more for DS2

[calimommy]

But these were the ones he originally wanted...

[KindDogsTail]

Look at these lovely shoes for your DS calimommy!
artincambridge.blogspot.co.uk/2012/09/portrait-of-doomed-prince-this.html
Here attached are:

Some little pink boys

Absolutely gorgeous 18thCentury embroidered waistcoat (man's)

John Lennon in a flowery shirt.

Your son is probably artistic, imaginative. He probably loves nature and his mind is filled with his own innocent little garden of paradise.

The problem with flowery shoes and so on though is that he could get bullied at school.