I'd love to hear from those who don't find parenting difficult

[DoubleCarrick]

Please don't mistake my intentions, I'm not in any way being smug.

I'm currently sat snuggling with my 10 week old who is currently resting after a mammoth screaming fit... I'm convinced his teeth are moving and have just read a thread where posters were talking about the challenges of parenting. This isn't a taat but I feel alone.

I've made efforts to get to groups and meet people and have built a new network of friends but there always seem to be people who are ready to talk about how hard parenting is.

I can say that I haven't found it challenging, frustrating or any of those things. It's so hard to join in with my friends complaints about fussy babies, sleepless nights, etc because although I am still experiencing that, surely it's just one of those things.

Seems weird to be complaining about not struggling but I'm scared to seem smug, dismissive and just to not be included with the woes of having a tiny baby.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who doesn't find it challenging? Ps, I do get that my baby is only ten weeks and I may hit a brick wall soon another disclaimer - he was poorly when born and in special care so we have had our challenges and haven't just breezed through everything

[SafeToCross]

Congratulations on your new lo. I have met a few women who are very natural and seemed to find parenting more instinctive than most. One thing they had in common was being sure of their own views, not fussed about what other people think, and willing to say no/opt out. But most of us muddle through. You don't have to be superwoman though, better that you express feelings and let stuff go when necessary than hold it all in and crack inside.

[gandalf456]

My Dd was extremely difficult. My ds was like yours at 10 weeks. I honestly didn't know he was there. He is still like that at times though the toddler bit was tough.

I felt isolated for the opposite reason to you - I. E. Because everyone else seems to breeze through parenthood - so be thankful for that.

[DoubleCarrick]

Maybe I'm just shit at the motherly bonding thing and sharing with others

[RubyWinterstorm]

It's great you are not struggling, fabulous to have such a good start!

But.... it's a bit like running a marathan, and saying "this is quite easy!" after your first mile

The thing is, parenthood is challenging for most people at least for some part of it.

But for now, try to spend more time with people with a similar (positive) mindset to yours.

DS1 was a reflux baby and cried and cried and cried....easygoing teen now.

My DS2 was a dream baby (happy, slept well, ate well, never cried)..... but.... a tricky dictatorial tot.... dreamchild again at primary.... and now hitting his teens (OMG is he challenging me )

Swings and roundabouts, ups and downs!

Good luck!

[SaorAlbaGuBrath]

Maybe I'm just shit at the motherly bonding thing and sharing with others

Now that I can identify with. Toddler groups and school gates are my idea of hell

[RubyWinterstorm]

And when other mothers struggle, just listen. Be empathetic.

They'll be there for you if you ever hit a rough patch

[Ecureuil]

Maybe I'm just shit at the motherly bonding thing and sharing with others gin

It sounds like you're trying to find a stick to beat yourself with!
Not finding it difficult is fine. It's great, even. We're all different. One of my best friends and I had our DC2 at the same time. I had a non sleeping 19 month old for DC1, she had a generally easy and laid back 4 year old. She breezed through DC2. I felt envious that she found it all so much easier than me, but that doesn't mean she was wrong to find it easy!

[enchantmentandlove]

It sounds as though although you've had a hard time in a way, you are still able to be really positive which I think is great. As pp have said, I think different people find different stages easier/harder.

For me, as much as I loved the first 3 months I did find them challenging. DD had some major issues with breastfeeding, I called help lines and saw breastfeeding councillors etc. Everyone said I wasn't doing anything 'wrong', but I didn't have enough milk and dd was just fussy and impatient. I was really hard on myself about it and felt guilty, and for a few months was still trying to bf, express milk and formula feed. We also don't live near family which I found hard. By three months I decided to just ff, which was the best thing I could have done for myself and for dd. DD was also literally attached to me 24 hours a day (which I loved), but it was hard in a way.

Ever since though, I have generally found it's gotten easier. Dd is now 9 months and has the loveliest, cheekiest personality which I love. We still have difficult moments of course, but I think I'm learning to go easy of myself, and accept I won't be 'perfect', but that my best is good enough.

I know we will still have challenging stages, and I may not enjoy them all, but I feel a lot more relaxed now which I think dd picks up on too.

Sorry I didn't mean to write such an essay there - I guess what I'm trying to say is we will all find different things challenging and that's fine, but having a positive attitude really helps get through those harder times (although I understand it's not always as easy as that, as I did have post natal anxiety).

[gandalf456]

I didn't like baby groups either and not too keen on the school gates but met a handful of people from there. All in all, you are not missing out if you just don't go

[SouthernNorthernGirl]

I was you OP, with my first DC. I had a blissful, smug filled 6 years of perfect behaviour. Then I had DC2 & DC3 4 years apart.

8 years later, I'm still trying to muddle my way through our now shit tipmessy home, except I'm too tired to think straight.

[SouthernNorthernGirl]

Ah shit tip fail

[fakenamefornow]

I always thought looking after children was easy, even though my first screamed all night, I didn't have to go to work so could just take it easy the next day. I had a baby, a one year old and a two year old, with no help or relatives apart from my husband who worked long hours, and still didn't find it hard. I loved just being able to go to play groups and stuff. There seems to be a sort of conspiracy of silence about how easy looking after children is, like you have betrayed the sisterhood and we have to all say it's the hardest job ever. You watch, I bet I get jumped on for saying I found it easy.

[cordeliavorkosigan]

Complaining isn't the same as sharing experiences, especially new ones. Maybe that's what they think they are doing?

[teaandbiscuitsforme]

Enjoy your baby OP. Sounds like you're doing a great job.

Smile and nod is your friend at baby groups. You'll find people who are more you in amongst the moaners. Groups also become easier when babies are more interactive and can move!

[thethoughtfox]

I was pathetically grateful that my baby was so easy and slept for 13 hours a night from 6 weeks while all my friends' babies were much harder work. Now as a 3 year old, mine needs a much longer bed time routine than theirs; we had pooping on the carpet problems and she won't move into a bed.

[OhDearToby]

To be honest I haven't found it too hard (a 6 yo, a 14 month old and 7 months pregnant). I was a single mum till dd1 was 3. Dd1 was a bit of a non sleeping nightmare but dd2 is "good".

BUT...i only work part time (at the moment literally one day a week). I think working full time and having children must be so bloody hard, stressful and exhausting.

[Ecureuil]

You watch, I bet I get jumped on for saying I found it easy

Why would you, when this whole thread has been about telling the OP that it's ok to find it easy?

I found school easy. All learning is easy to me. I raced through exams with barely any work and got top marks. High paying job straight out of uni. I find motherhood more difficult. We're all different, so why would anyone get jumped on for finding something easier than someone else does?

[DoubleCarrick]

I'm currently gasping for a cuppa but he's currently laying across me and whimpers every time I try to move. So bloody cute. Can such a tiny baby have an ear infection? Something isnt right with him - his crying is different.

Thankyou all so much for the reassurance. I'm feeling a little less like a freak

[teaandbiscuitsforme]

Yes they can get ear infections. I think they normally get a temperature with them? Ring the gp if you're not sure. They'll always see a baby or speak to you on the phone.

[mistermagpie]

It's ok to find it easy. I found the first six months really easy. I had a typical 'easy' baby really, he wouldn't breastfeed but took to bottles well, slept well and I did shared parental leave with DH, plus his family are local so there was loads of support. I couldn't relate to the mums who said that the first few months were hellish because that wasn't my experience.

I'll tell you something though, don't get too comfortable because things change. I now have a lovely but very demanding toddler and he is really hard work sometimes. He doesn't eat well, was very late to walk and sleeps less well than he did when he was tiny. I'm also very pregnant which doesn't help. Toddlers are way harder than babies (who just lie there when you put them down and can't answer back or bite you) so enjoy this while it lasts.

[gamerwidow]

Possibly, if you're worried take him to your gp or urgent care no hcp will ever mind seeing a baby that young just to be on the safe side.

[Chathamhouserules]

Maybe because he was in special care you are so relieved to have him home safe that you wouldn't even think of complaining. But equally some people cope better with lack of sleep and the stress of a baby crying for four hours than others. We are all different.
But also I think some people might complain about not being able to have a cup of tea more as a joke than real complaining.
Enjoy and I hope it lasts!

[Onlyaplasticbagdear]

At ten weeks it was a breeze for me too, DS was the easiest newborn.

At 4 months the shit hit the fan. Don't count your chickens!

[Flumpernickel]

Hahaha 10 weeks in and parenting is a breeze so far huh?

Thanks OP, I needed a good belly laugh .

Funniest thing I have read in ages.

[Devilishpyjamas]

To be fair to OP she's hardly had an easy time of it yet.