Help - 10 weeks in and it's not getting better

[KitKat36]

I need some help; please can noone tell me that if I just responded to my son's needs all will be perfect because I've been doing that and it's not working and I'm broken with tiredness.

Son has gone from having a decent night stint of sleep to waking every 2-3 hours at night again. He's feeding constantly from 2-6 so I can't get anything done and despite advice to the contrary I would actually like to make my house look nice again.

He won't sleep during the day at all so I can't catch up on sleep then either. I've tried everything from shh pat to cuddling to sleep and none of it works.

I'm on the verge of giving up EBF him because maybe at least if I put some formula down him he might not be so hungry and might actually sleep.

The idea of routines is laughable given he constantly sucks his fingers and asks for food. He's huge over 2ft (63cm) tall already a fact commented on by everyone who sees him.

I really don't know what I'm doing so wrong but everyone told me it would get better and it's not.

We had a brief blissful week or two where he slept for one five hour stretch and one four hour. He occasionally would nap in the pram but my only way of him sleeping is the sling for a walk or the pram with a walk. It isn't helping my tiredness and my relationship with his father which was wonderful is suffering. He's also shattered from trying to settle him at night.

What can I do to make him sleep just once in the day where he's not on top of me?

[KitKat36]

The community midwives strong armed me into it for a couple of days when he was still losing birth weight and hated it. I think source of issues with husband as he'd give it in a heartbeat if meant LO settled and I got sleep.

I hope that things work out for you and you get an easy settled baby!

[PurpleTreeFrog]

If he's a "sucky" baby you could try a dummy, as someone else suggested. Takes a few attempts usually, they don't normally take it first time. I was always a huge snob about dummies but when I saw the redness drain away from my baby's frustrated crying face in seconds I realised how soothing it was for him.

Also, get a cleaner to help you keep on top of things. Even if you don't have a lot of spare cash, if you can economise in other areas, it's worth it, at least for the first few months/year. We have ours once a fortnight for 2 hours and it costs us about £46 a month. I think that's very affordable when you think some people spend that on takeaways, booze, new clothes etc. It means you always know that your house is clean, even if there's a visible layer of dust or grime somewhere you it's only been there for a few days, not a few weeks!

Don't be so hard on yourself, there's no such thing as being cut out for motherhood or not. Babies cry, poo, drink lots of milk, and dont sleep much... that's pretty much all there is to it. Its totally knackering. You just do what you have to do to survive, and if you're lucky they flash you that adorable smile or cute giggle that makes it all worth it.

[villainousbroodmare]

The one thing that helped me feel better in those exhausting early days was getting someone in to clean the house. I know you are not supposed to care what it looks like, but it made me feel a million times better to have a clean house. The cleaning lady was actually the one who managed to get DS to take a dummy - just kept popping it in over and over. Could you afford to get someone to clean a bit?

This is what I do to get my baby to sleep. He feeds about every 3 hrs so each feed is a substantial one. (He was actually put on a 4hrly routine at 5 weeks by an extremely knowledgeable paediatrician due to oversupply issues, so I reckon a 3-4 hr interval for your little fella should be all right.) When he's been awake for an hour I keep a sharp eye for yawns and eye-rubbing. As soon as I see that (could be two hours, in the evening might be omg four) I swaddle him tightly, put a dummy in his mouth replace it if he spits it, switch on the white noise and lie him in his Sleepyhead in a dim room and I walk away. If he grumbles I ignore it. If he roars I go back and restart. Something in between gets sssh pat. Often he lies awake but I figure at least he's resting.

Whatever shagging use five bunches of virtual flowers are to you, here they are with my sympathy (and I can see a sense of humour shining through which will save you!)

[KitKat36]

Have a cleaner and that's amazing truly best thing ever. It's more getting the house back together after rebuilding part of it

[ODog]

All sounds very normal. Much like my DS at that age expect he didn't sleep for 2/3 hrs at a time until he was about 10months. Had the same with my nct grp. All their babies seemed to feed every 4hrs and sleep in between but they were all amazed at how big DS was and how little he cried it's hard to cry when your mouth is stuck to a boob . For day naps use whatever means possible. I found a sling good as I could get on with bits, but it was also pretty much the only place he would sleep. Evening cluster feeding is also very normal and will suddenly stop one day (probably pne day fairly soon) and you won't realise until a few days have passed. It's tough but it will get easier and better slowly and gradually.

[KitKat36]

Hubby and I been discussing the sling and he's saner than I am and thinks increased fussiness may have coincided with reduced slinging.

At least I'm not going to have to worry about getting my abs back if I'm walking round with 6kg of baby attached to me they'll strengthen in no time.

Those that have used a sling, when did you find you could drop it? I have some concerns about him being too heavy for it to be feasible soonish

[villainousbroodmare]

DS is 4 1/2 months, 8 kg and 69 cm, and while heavy to lug about the house, is easily manageable once in the sling and has started laughing with delight when he sees me putting it on. I'm happy about that cos it's hot where we are and I was worried I was roasting him every morning. Not sure if it's connected but I've very nearly got my tummy back.

[CousinChloe]

You may both be happy with dropping it, but just to reassure, if you both want to keep on slinging you can get slings designed for preschoolers etc, so even a 99th centile baby should be fine. You can try hiring different brands by post from something like It's a Sling Thing website so can check if they're comfortable before buying.

I am sure the baby will learn to nap without movement sooner than that, but just to reassure! I think DD was 8 months when she really got napping, but others manage much faster than that.

[ODog]

My DS is 18mo, on 99th centile for height and weighs 12kg. I still sling him to sleep for naps in a ring sling and can comfortably carry him for an hour (if he wants/lets me) when out and about in a toddler connecta. I'm also 18weeks pregnant and not particularly fit at the moment. With the right sling, a 10week old, however big, should be a doddle. Your DH is probably on to something. Google 4th trimester. He hasn't realised he is not yet part of you and is programmed to cry if he not close to you.

[waterrat]

Feed. Then Dummy. ...swaddle...white noise. ..

It's all about a dummy. I used one from 2 weeks...and also fed on demand..I just used the dummy to settle after feed...at 10 weeks I wpuld gradually try to stop the cluster feeding....it passes xx and the person who said 'with the greatest respect' is rude and annoying

[PurpleTreeFrog]

I have a 11kg 18 month old I still carry in a Connecta sling/baby carrier sometimes. The soft slings are easy when they're still little babies too, especially round the house. I've vowed to myself that if we ever have a second baby I will pretty much wear that child in a sling constantly for the first few months to enable me to just get on with my life. Surely that's what they must have done in thousands of years ago when humand were nomadic?

I never actually purchased a pram as DS would only tolerate the sling and hated being in a pram (we did try out a perfectly good second hand one I'd been given, but he just wanted to be held 24/7. The 4th trimester thing is so true.) Anyway, I went straight to a normal pushchair in a reclined position he was about 4 months old.

I wouldn't expect a baby to start having "proper" naps outside of your arms, or lengthy breaks from feeding, until around 3-6 months old.

[Sunbeam18]

Sorry you are having such a bad time, been there... The breakthrough for me was when I got him to nap in the car. I got so fed up of walking for hours with the pram with exhausted tears running down my face. Put him in car at nap time and drive for 30 minutes. Take food and a magazine with you. When he falls asleep pull over and relax.

[KitKat36]

Just wanted to say thanks just complaining has helped we used the sling and the new sleepyhead and he was more settled am hoping it will continue..

Thank you for kind wishes and suggestions!