clingy baby - is it ok to go away for the weekend at all/one night/two nights?

[cantbelieveimonhere]

This is a cry for advice; particularly if you've been in a similar situation. What decision did you make? How did it work out? Would you do the same again? What would you do in this situation?

DD is 10 months old and has been "clingy" towards me, her Mum, since six and a half months.

Close friend lives in another part of the UK and unable to travel at the minute (not an option, owing to health issues). We had been hoping to meet in person this Autumn. We had thought I might travel to her. This involves a one hour drive to airport, followed by a one and a half hour flight. Owing to availability/dates/flight times etc the options are:

A) Leave Fri evening and return Sun evening. This would involve missing three bedtimes and two full days.(DD used to sometimes DH putting her to bed. That on its own is not an issue) It would mean an extremely long stretch apart. It would give better value for money. It would also give greatest amount of time visiting friend, in return for leaving DD.

B) Leave extremely early Sat AM and return Sun evening. This would involve being away two bedtimes and two full days. I would be up early (3.30am) and so likely be tired most of Sat and ?do away with goodness of even being away and not getting best of time catching up with friend.

Would love to go (dates looking at would be around 11.5 months for DD) but can't decide:
Is it selfish? Should I just stay at home and rely on Skype?
I need a break and it would do me good to have time off from parenting duties?
Just go one night?
Bite the bullet and go for two nights?
What will be the likely impact on DD and our relationship?

Unsure what to do.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Oh and turn your phone off or leave in hotel room so your not tempted to call or staring at it worrying.

A grown man with family near by who holds down a job and has a wife and a home should be more than capable of looking after his own dd fir a weekend.

mums aren't the only ones who can do stuff

[broomy123]

Go! Sounds like you need a break. I'll get for this but I left my EBF four month old to go on my very good friend's hen do for two nights. I know some people think that's awful parenting. But I had an incredibly tough labour and recovery plus my baby has a lot of tummy issues that meant she didn't sleep more than an hour at a time if I was lucky! It made my DH realise how hard I had it which helped our relationship! If you BF just express when you feed, I had no issues.
I think the early you leave them the better, I think everyone in all relationships benefits from space! Go and enjoy yourself!

[BoutrosBoutros]

Agree with those saying go. I left DS overnight for the first time at 12 months for a 3 night work trip 11 hours away. For us it was the end of bf but that was fine (we planned it that way) and he was only down to one feed anyway. If we'd wanted to continue we could have.

You have given up your time and personal space for your DD for months and have a great bond with her but this second year has been wonderful for us in terms of DH becoming a more equal parent and me getting some choices back. I'm sure he'll be brilliant with her and you will have a great time with your friend.

Not having a single night to yourself for 10 years sounds very martyrish to me and no one I know has done this.

[MrsHenryCrawford]

Go and enjoy yourself. I left ds twice overnight with dh in his first year and everyone survived. Imo not leaving your child for ten years is a bit odd. My parents and my aunts and uncles all left their kids with their grandparents while they went off for a weeks holiday at some stage.

[cantbelieveimonhere]

Decision made. Flights booked! Thanks ladies for your input.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Have a fab time

and turn phone off

[icklekid]

Yay well done!

[Roseybee10]

Fab!!! I think it's so important to get 'you time' sometimes.
I didn't realise it was so unusual to leave children until I came onto forums and saw some of the reactions.
Breast feeding never worked out for us so it was easier for me to leave my girls. I left my dd1 overnight for first time at 8 weeks with my mum because I didn't want it to become a huge thing and I knew it would be harder the longer I left it. Think dd2 was about 12 weeks.

We're going to a wedding in London at the end of this month and leaving both dc (one is almost 3 and the other will be almost 7 months) for two days and two nights with their grandparents. It'll be the longest I've ever left either of them but there's just no way I could put them both through the journey to London (from Glasgow) then a full day wedding an hour away from our hotel. It's far less traumatic for them to stay in familiar surroundings with their grandparents tbh.

I hope you have a fantastic time. It will be lovely for your hubby and dd to have some time together and for you to have a break and good catch up with a friend.

[PotteringAlong]

Have an awesome time

And DON'T worry (I know it's easier said than done) but they will be fine.

[notascooby007]

Have a fantastic time you deserve some "me " time. I've also never understood why people don't have their dc sleep out, my 3 dc have regularly had sleepovers with grandparents from being babies my dm and mil are perfectly capable of looking after and settling my dc. I still have a life away from my children, they don't come to any harm at all in fact as they get older they ask to sleep at GPs as they love it ( I assume they get spoilt and get to stay up later but hey ho). I regularly slept at my GPs when I was young I was always happy and enjoyed going.