the woes of my Footballer son

[Beetroot]

ds used to pay for a team and he was one of the best players. Always on , always getting Man of the match. Ev eryone said he had real talent.

he has now joined a more competative team and he rarely goes on. Maybe 10 mins in a match. he is put on in a position that he is not comfortable with.

I have spoken to the coach and he says that he has his team and they have been with him since they were 7. he does not want to risk taking one off in ds's position as he does not need to.

DS says he does not want to play for them anymore. he can play at school.

Trouble is we always thought ds was really good and had potential...this is what we were led to believe

[PretendFriend]

They're not allowed to play in a younger team - older is OK but not younger (they are v well regulated from that pov)

[QueenEvil]

Beetroot, if your ds really wants to play footy then maybe he has to just bide his time. My ds loves his footy but when he changed to a much better team he barely got a look in all season - he too would get on for just the last 10 minutes of a match. In his previous team, he was very much like your ds in that he was by far the best player.

After a season and a half as a sub, ds1 started the following season as the manager's first choice and he finished top scorer for the season. That particular manager has now left and the squad has been reinforced with new players. Unfortunatley for ds, he has gone back to being the sub, coming on for the last 10-15 minutes. However, he has come on and scored in his last 3 games so......fingers crossed he has proved that he deserves a starting place.

Playing devil's advocate......is your son really as good as you think he is? Sometimes in a lesser side some players stand out but when they move to a better team they appear just average iyswim? That, I think has been true of my ds.

Would your ds be happy to play as sub for the time being and try to prove himslef to the manager during those 10 minutes and at training sessions?

[Beetroot]

QE, I really don't know how good he is. So many people have come up to me and said he is good. he reads the game, he is not a striker, he is not scared of getting in,he stands back and folows the game.

I have asked him to stay for a while and see how he does, but I don't want ot make him...

[Loshad]

tbh i think you really need to move clubs, even if it involves a bit of travelling. My own boys play rugby, but i'm sure the same happens in football - some clubs are ultracompetitive and only the very best ever get a go, and some play all those who turn up, and if they win great, if they don't then never mind. If's he's not getting enough playing time with the former then imo you need to look for a less "pushy, win at all costs" club.

[beetroot]

There is no way we could move clubs. There is not another local one. he plays at school (as a club rather than in the gmes lesson) so perhaps we need to let him choose.

He said today that perhaps he coudl take up Tennis instead. He admits he doesnot want to be a p rfessional footballer, so there is no use pushing him to do something he is not enjoying.

I think he needs to continue until half term adn then decide

[Nogbad]

My husband coaches an U8s team and our biggest problem is team selection. This year we have split all the boys up into 5 groups and each week 4 of the groups play in a rotation. We thought that because they are only 7 then it is the fairest thing to do in order that everyone gets a chance to play games - after all you can't improve if you don't play.

You wouldn't believe the complaints we have had about this - all from the Mothers of 'strong' players complaining that by including the weaker kids then we won't win! So, whatever the coach does he is in a losing situation. If we pick our strongest players then we will win most games but the kids who aren't brilliant will be discouraged and give up, if we give everyone equal time then we may lose our stronger players. It is a great shame - they are only 7 and we think the point of playing football is that we all learn to have fun together - let's face it very few will ever make professional level and if they grow up with a love of the game and a habit of sport then job done.

It might be an idea to ask your coach to see if he can arrange friendlies for the kids who don't get to play regularly to give them the match experience. I am sure the coach will take on board positive suggestions - especially if you help arrange it.

Good luck.

[Sherbert37]

We have had a similiar experience but with the same team. Last year DS1 was Player of the Year, played every game, all game and was a good solid defender. The summer came and went (he went to all the training) and now we find he is sharing his position with another lad and gets to play about half a match. We are all puzzled as he has gone from flavour of the month to virtual sub just like that. It's a strange old sport. Don't think I can say anything as DS1 would hate me to, but he too is losing his confidence. Maybe their turns will come again if they stick in there and show willing. DS1 loves cricket - has your DS tried that?

[beetroot]

I am liking the idea of Tennis