Am I really the only person finding this mummy thing sooooo difficult?
Don't get me wrong,I'm thrilled I have DS but I'm knackered. He's 4 weeks old and will not sleep on his back at all. Dr tried gaviscon as hv suspected reflux, didn't work and DS was still really unsettled (all the time). Dr is now trying lactose free milk which seems to be calming him tho he still won't settle ANYWHERE but on someone.
Doesn't even settle properly in the car or pram which he did the first week we were home, sleeps for a short time then wakes and screams. It upsets me as you see all these mums with content little babies out in the pram and there's me with mine screaming!
DH and I have been doing shifts with DS as someone has to hold him 24 hours! I'm getting worried about how I'll manage when DH goes back to work and its just me! He sleeps really well when on someone but the minute he goes down, he unsettles himself. He hates being swaddled and fights his way out!
I've lifted his crib at he head end, I've raised the mattress, I give a warm bath in bedtime routine etc
Looking back, he has always been unsettled on his back, even in hospital. I just thought it would settle but it got worse to the point where he won't go down at all. At one point he would only sleep upright-so curled up against our chest.
I tried having him in bed with me - kicked DH out, moved to middle of bed etc but just didn't feel comfortable enough to sleep myself.
I've tried letting him cry, just for a few mins (like while I boil the kettle, or nip to the loo), but it doesn't stop and I'm not comfortable with leaving him any longer than that -I just think he's too young.
I've always been really good with kids, I work with them too, so why ami finding this soooo hard. What am I doing wrong??
I'm sorry this is a bit disjointed and all over the place.
Please help and share you're experience as a new first time mum.
Oh and overnight, well between about 5-8am he seems to have really bad tummy cramps. He's on lactulose for constipation from the gaviscon but the tummy cramps also happened before the constipation too? It was like he was staining for hours to poo then when he finally managed his nappy was perfectly normal. The first time it happened I thought he was bunged up then was really surprised when his nappy was normal when it finally happened.
I feel like everyone else has these happy content little babies, and then there's me!!
Sorry it's such a long rambling!
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Parenting
Soooo hard
Kafri · 17/01/2013 05:59
High Needs Baby Support Thread
Duracell Bunny Baby article (original concept) - facebook group link is in comments of this article I think.
Also Dr. Sears is well known for his theory/writings about "high needs" babies - google "Sears High Needs" and there's also a book (as if you have time for reading!) called The Fussy Baby Book which might help to reassure you you're not alone. Perhaps you could download it as an audiobook and listen through headphones to drown out the crying...? 
We found that in our attempts to try everything to establish a routine we were in fact extremely efficiently creating a different thing every night.
I know everyone will tell you that it will get better, and it will, we found that simplifying as far as possible and sticking to the same thing paid off very quickly.
Good luck. 
I've found the Fussy Baby Book v helpful to reassure me that I was not alone and not a crap mother - as you are NOT.
Yes, most babies will settle down around the 6 week mark, however some don't.
Many more babies become happier in themselves around 3 months, but some don't.
I think mothers who look after these babies and don't smother them are better, or certainly, more tested mothers. We should all get a medal tbh.
Personally, I found DS1 calmed down a little bit with each milestone that made him more independent: being able to hold his head, being able to sit, abdo to move, able to walk all helped. So, yes, he screamed every waking minute for a year - I might exaggarate, but only slightly.
I'd really, really recommend a stretchy wrap (Moby or Sleepy Wrap) to you. You can pop a baby in with his legs tucked up like a frog which is good for their hips and spine and tends to make a panicky baby feel v secure. I wish I had had one with DS1. My Sleepy Wrap (did I mention I'd sell you mine? 
) was a lifesaver with DS3 and DS4.
Have you tried rocking him while you are standing up in a totally dark room, whilst patting his bum regularly and having the white noise on loudly? Or doing long loud 'shhhhhhhhhhh's? He may well be so overtired and overstimulated that he struggles to calm and stay call.
I've sent you a PM btw.
Oh kafri...like others have said, this thread is just full of things that make memories of my ds1 come flooding back.
1)It's really tough and you're doing amazingly well. (I went a bit bonkers, so do look after yourself! )
2) DON'T listen to people saying "you should be doing this that or the other" or books that say the same. They're talking about a different make of baby!
3) DON'T panic too much that it's not "normal" ....he sounds so like my son, he screamed, he had stomach problems, he wouldn't sleep and yet all he needed was sleep, he had to be moving ALL the time in pram or car or he woke up and screamed (I literally used to dread red traffic lights!) .....
4) try cranio oesteopathy
5) DUMMY? They are your friend and they are amazing.
6) take all the offers of help you can, and ask for help too. Sod the worrying about him screaming, just take the breaks where you can.
7) another vote for a vibrating chair
8) we also put our son to sleep on his stomach and would then turn him. He loved it on his stomach and hated it on his back.
Most of all, just kind of ride with it. Cope however you need to from day to day and don't worry about the future. Gradually, bit by bit it will get easier and easier and easier and you'll come out of the crazy fog of early days with a high needs baby. Cuddle him loads and watch loads of DVDs whilst he sleeps if that works.
For what it's worth, my ds did start communicating (smiles and sounds etc) from a very early age (5 -6 weeks). He was definitely very keen to get going in life.
Now, he is a chilled and lovely 6 year old who sleeps very well.
They say some babies just don't like being a baby! Once they get a few weeks old and then a few months old they get happier and happier.
Good luck!
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I cannot tell you how many dark amber lights I went through when DS1 for once was asleep in the back of the car... 
Stretchy wrap demonstration - this was the first YouTube video that came up. There are many, many more.
Mobywrap is a popular make, I had a Sleep Wrap which allegedly is thicker than the Moby (I don't know).
The woman in the video is using a long bit of t-shirt jersey - basically any v long stretchy fabric would work, certainly as long as the baby is not v heavy.
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