In tears again

[stargirl1701]

Oh I need help. Baby is 18 weeks old and we're really struggling to get her to sleep. She just cries and cries.

We've tried rocking her to sleep, bouncing her to sleep, singing her to sleep, shhhhhing her while holding her, using a dummy, using a sling, using the pram - rocking and pushing.

She screams going to sleep and waking up from sleep. She has silent reflux and we are using Ranitidine for that. Her dose is reviewed every 4 weeks. She is now eating happily. We have no TV or radio on. The lights are dim.

Please help. I spent last night crying with her and feel like I could do the same tonight

[stargirl1701]

Oh Coola. That sounds awful. I'm hoping the reflux goes away when she starts eating solids.

[stargirl1701]

We will be putting one up tomorrow!

[teacher123]

Darkness is good! Black out blinds are your friend!

[stargirl1701]

Just woke. Crying.

But, that was a nap. Over an hour!

[stargirl1701]

Asleep Just 5 minutes.

Right, we are going to make sure it's as dark as possible for getting her off to sleep.

[stargirl1701]

Ok. So we just had the first eye rubbing. DH has taken her upstairs where it is dark and is pacing the floor. She is screaming the place down.

Could this be related to her reflux? It is same distraught screaming we got when she fed before she was diagnosed.

[stargirl1701]

Awake. 20 min?

[stargirl1701]

I co-slept with her last night. She slept till 10am rather than 8am.

She's asleep again. I bounced her while I was on my birth ball. She went over after 10 min of crying. Woohoo! I'm just going to hold her. DH will be home from work soon and it 's his night to cook

[mysweetie]

whoaaa,. that's too long poor mama, poor baby. I agree with co-sleeping she might be scared to sleep alone. A musical background also helps me with my DD (19mo) specially when she is smaller.

[UsedToBeAPixie]

Does she sleep if you're walking with the pram? When DS was younger I used to make sandwiches the night before and walk him to the park at lunch the following day. I usually got time to stop for 1 sandwich before he woke up again, but he got a bit of a nap and I ate with both hands!
I also discovered that he will stay asleep if I go to Costa - I think because I walk him up and down busy roads all the time to get him to sleep, the espresso machine doesn't wake him. But any other indoor place, his eyes snap open...

[Maternityleaveisawesome]

Stargirl I feel your pain. I hate that tired cry they do and you know it can be solved by the one thing they won't do!

Am hugely envious of your night sleeping. We are up 3ish times. Right now am hungry, but dd just fell asleep on me, so won't move until she wakes. (I reckon 10 mins max)

[stargirl1701]

Aaaaahhhh! 45 mins of crying. Fell asleep in my arms and I put her down in her pram. I went to make my lunch. She just woke up. 15 minutes of sleep.

[CoolaSchmoola]

Not necessarily - DD (another refluxer) first slept through at 5 weeks although she barely slept at all before that, or so it seemed .

She went 11pm to 7am the first night, then within a couple of weeks was going 11pm to 9am. She went down to two short naps a day, only had three feeds from morning to about 7pm, would then cluster feed like crazy to build up to her big night sleep and go straight through.

Since then, barring illness/teething, she has slept through every night for 12 hours solid, sometimes more. But it has impacted her naps - she was down to one nap a day by six months, and now at 15 months sometimes naps for half an hour, but lately has some days where she doesn't nap at all.

I am well aware that I am ridiculously lucky but you might be too!

There was a flip side to the coin though, for all I got to sleep all night, I also got a baby who projectile vomited due to reflux until she was ten months old. Every single feed would end up over me and/or her, toys, carpet, furniture, car - the lot. She would still be throwing up the previous feed half an hour before the next one. We own 45 muslins - because we went through 20-25 a DAY. Even when she weaned she would still puke. And that smells like "proper" puke, particularly when it's in your hair .....

[stargirl1701]

I'm not! It's only been in the last fortnight and that included one night of being up every 30 minutes. I'm sure it'll change again.

[Musomathsci]

Sleeping through the night at 18w is absolutely fine - don't knock it!!

[BertieBotts]

I don't know, not necessarily. DS slept 8 hours at 7 weeks. It didn't last but he did it by himself. I was blessed with him in that he was a great sleeper anyway and just used to drop off when he felt tired wherever he was. I don't think that 9 hours at 18 weeks is worrying.

[stargirl1701]

I have slept with her now and then. I did it more in the early days when she was up every 2 hours. Since she started sleeping through till morning I stopped as I wasn't so tired anymore.

She's asleep now in her crib. We put her in awake and within 2 minutes of the light going off she was snoring.

I worry that she's only sleeping so long at night because she's exhausted. Shouldn't she still be wakening at night? Parenthood, you worry when they don't sleep and when they do!

[BertieBotts]

Camping head torches :) In years to come that will be something you and DH will look back on and laugh and say "I can't believe we seriously considered that!" You will get through it and be able to have that conversation one day, I promise! It feels like it's going to last forever when you're in it.

Have you tried lying down to nap with her in the day? Even if she doesn't seem sleepy just put her on the bed next to you when she's calm (making sure she can't roll off of course) and doze - she'll either be happy to lie next to you knowing that you're close, or she'll take the cue from your eyes being closed that it's sleepy-time (they have a built in response to copy facial expressions, and eyes open/closed is part of this) and maybe have a nap herself too!

Obviously not practical for every nap of the day but if you can do this at some point in the morning before she gets hysterical then it might just see off the over-tiredness?

[MrsTerryPratchett]

On the 'I have the worst baby' issue. I have taken DD on lots of flights in her 2 years of life. Every single time I think people are hating us, she is loud, the worst child on the flight, noisy, awful. Every time, on landing, the people around me say how wonderful she was, best child they've ever flown with. We always think our child is the loudest, because their cries are so painful to us.

I hope things get easier.

[UsedToBeAPixie]

We're fighting on the naps with DS too though it is nowhere near as painful as your situation, you have all my sympathy.
My bub needs swaddling and a muslin over his face (yes, like a budgie) in order to go to sleep in the day! We try and start winding him down before he gets tired, so in a morning after he's been awake for 90 mins, we start quiet activities - read a book with him, sing a lullaby and cuddle etc.. and then we put him down/rock him to sleep. Sometimes we even catch him at the right time ! Otherwise it has to be the pram and he'll hold out for a good 30/40 mins before he gives it up.
I have had some success with white noise though, I have an app on my phone and his monitor will also play Hoover/hair dryer noise. At night, if he wakes up crying I'll take him in the kitchen and switch on the extractor fan - that knocks him out pretty quickly as it's quite loud.

Good luck, and don't worry about not meeting her needs, she's getting a really good nights sleep and she has her mum doing everything she can for her :)

[stargirl1701]

Thank you. It's so good to have answers to our 'cries for help'.

[Zappo]

I'm sorry she's woken up-she needs to get into a deep sleep. See if she'll sleep on you and transfer her when her breathing is almost imperceptible.

I have to go to bed now but I'm wishing you well- hope you get some rest soon

[Zappo]

Put her in her crib and go and have a cuppa. You don't need to sit alongside her until she wakes. You'll hear her soon enough.

[stargirl1701]

And she's awake again. Will feed her.

[Zappo]

"We didn't try all these things tonight "

Ahh I just remember doing many of those things in one night!!!

Yes settling them in a dark room is good. If she is still with you maybe keep the light low and transfer her when she's in a deep sleep (20 mins or so).

By the way the night stint is a good one. I had babies that used to wake every 2-3 hours, then at its worse every 45 minutes!!

They do go through phases of fighting sleep and some babies do cru on wake-up. At this young age they often do cry a lot when they are tired but you are right to look for sleepy signs (yawn, rubbing ears, rubbing eyes) and then straight out for a walk in sling or pushchair.

Mine took day time naps in a sling for 8 months as she wouldn't be put down in a cot.

My first DD used to cry a lot. She was a very sensitive, high needs baby. Things will probably get better around 6 months.

And parenting is very hard- it's hard for everyone but some baies are more difficult than others.

You are doing fine!