Fantastic 40+ Mums

[Hpbp]

Mum of 2, DS1 nearly 4yo and DD2 almost 11 weeks. I hope to find here advices from experienced mums so that I can avoid mistakes... I made some with DS1 and my life sometimes is hell, it is hard to unlearn wrong behaviour, so hard.
At the time being, DD2 is a very sweet baby, she is easy to decipher, cries are always related to some kind of discomfort and I managed to learn what they mean, or almost. Only one issue with her ATM is that she rejects bottle feeding even with expressed milk. I'd like to be able to escape a bit from the house to get a haircut or a facial. And I am sure DH would like to feed her sometimes too.
I struggle a bit more with DS1, who is usually a good boy, energetic, happy and loving. But after school, getting him to take his bath is a battle and falling and staying asleep all night are big issues. The problems did exist before but now with the recent arrival of his sister, the intensity has increased. Or maybe they are the same but to me they seem bigger and need to be addressed quickly so that I can look after both without raising my voice.
All advice are welcome. I need help here.

Also I'd like to invite all the graduates from the Fantastic 40+ Mums to be thread to join. You have been truly fantastic and so supportive during my pg. I hope to be able to keep on sharing with you this wonderful parenting adventure.

Howdy old ladies. Me and master midge checking in. We are also co sleeping because I am lazy I do put him in his basket about 10-1 and then about 6 am but in between he is with me. I did the same with DD who was tiny and I was advised against it but I just was too exhausted to do anything else and it worked really well.

LRM hope a day of rest sorts you out. Me and master midge are also fill of cold. His sleeping bag has been drenched in baby olbas oil and seems to be doing the trick as he can still feed.

Wanted to pick your brains. Do you have and kind of routine and do you Breastfed them to sleep? I had good intentions to not do that this time but already seem to have fallen into the habit. DD used me as a human dummy and I am keen to avoid that this time but feel I am already heading that way. Be interested to know what you all do.

Had a pooh drama yesterday. Was late for parents evening as got totally covered in shit .

Avo ladies

LRM Are you still having feeding nightmares? Basically the more you let them suckle initially, as long as latch is ok, the more milk you will produce. Can be a bit tedious at times, but your idea of staying in bed for a day or two is just perfect for it. The 6 week growth spurt is a valid point - with baby FF it seemed to last from week 4-7. I supplemented with x 2 little bottles of formula a day for the first 8 weeks or so. Just followed the instructions on the packet for what was recommended for his age/weight. At around 8 weeks I started to get lazy / forget to make formula, and also felt more comfy feeding in public (finally got the outfits sorted - don't know why I couldn't get to grips with concept of one up, one down tops!!). So basically, you can combine feed -ignore those who say is not possible. It might help a bit to do so. Re the hind milk. Good point. I was (am) never really sure. I just kept going in the early days once I knew about it until I was sure there wasn't a drop left. I usually only do one boob at a time. But I am not rigid in what I do - I go for what seems right at the time.

YY to co-sleeping!! I transitioned DS from BabyBay to East Coast dropside cot (£80 from Asda BTW) at weekend. Have taken dropside bit off and push it up to bed at night - mattresses almost same height. DS seems to like extra space. Defo recommend for not having to wake up much in night. Suits lazy individuals like myself, also those who do not like being woken by crying, hungry babies.

VQ sorry to hear your DH is being such a total and utter arse. I hope he gets over himself soon. Have to say my DH went a bit weirdo when DS due to arrive and in early weeks, but he seems to be ok now. In any case, I am able to do so much more now too, thank goodness. I have to ignore fairly constant grumps too.

Bytheseaside sorry to hear you're feeling crap. Hope you're on the road to recovery soon. How early was DD? I think I would be the same as you if mine was prem - would feel that even if they had been outside for 6 weeks, if still only just at due date then they really are a newborn. She sounds like she is going to be fun and spirited!!

Midget like you, I am allowing DS to get into bad habits!!! No, really, I don't know what is wrong with feeding them to sleep? At night time, anyway? I read a thread on here not so long ago and someone said it works, feeding baby to sleep at night, they both like it, so where's the harm? Seems DS is falling into a daily pattern anyway.

OK, I think I have my chocolate/cake/biccie obsession under control, so feel free to talk at will about it!! Have added more fruit into diet. And have started buggyfit classes. I don't know if the enthusiam will last when the weather changes, but first two times out in glorious autumn sunshine were wonderful. I was on a bit of an unbearable high when I came out. I can't wait to have a waist again, but don't know if I ever will!! My pre-preg wardrobe was kind of drapey anyway, so lucky with that. But is a PITA that you have to dress in separates if you want to BF. Look at lovely xmas dresses and then try to forget them!!

DS asleep on knee. Naughty Mummy not sticking to a routine. :-) Making a rod for my back etc etc. Better wake him up or 7pm bedtime won't work!!Have tried my best to catch up with you all. Please don't take it personally if I have missed you or anything out. Is me not you!!

Love to you all! FF

BTW- should be illegal for new mummies to be made to feel under pressure to lose weight / start exercising before LO is 5 months old. Up till last week I was just walking.

Evening ladies
Midget I am letting Dylan fall asleep after he has fed on me. He then goes in his basket. If I put him in awake lord he cry and does not settle. He wakes up and settles but cold turkey no chance. Am making harder work for myself as he gets older do u think?

I am finding the last two days a challenge with breastfeeding. He won't open his mouth very far so latching on can be painful also the hardest bit is when becomes off himself /goes back on he is either to lazy to latch properly or the milk flow has slowed and he prefers the initial latch on rush. Shit be moans and arms and legs all over be starts screaming. I help back on and releases again and the same happens. I wind him and change boobs and the same again. If he stays latched on no problem. I have an nct breastfeeding lady coming to help me Thursday to see what I can do better.

LRM sounds like you are having real probs. I hope the NCT counsellor helps.

Re the feeding to sleep business - is what I have tended to do. How old is he? Prob too early for sleep training. Get the feeding sorted first. I feed baby FF to sleep in the evenings. Lunchtime now he has found his own nap time.

You know, it's been a long time since I had the misfortune to speak to anyone so ..... what's the word.... I was out today with DS, changing him alongside another mother/baby. Just passing the time with general niceties etc etc. Then she hits me with it. 'So is he your first? Really....' Picks jaw up off floor. Thank goodness I was too busy to retaliate! I guess I should dye those grey hairs and leave the zimmer frame at home... She was hardly a spring chicken herself!

At least she didn't tell me off for taking DS out in the cold with no socks on. I'd just been out buying the damn things. Still, just required a two word response. Wasn't too preoccupied then!!

Night all!! Better get on with some chores!! FF xx

Ff. Baby monkey is 5 weeks today. I have changed my feeding position thanks to dp and a soft toy monkey :-D seems to be going ok. Now as for the oh really lady cheeky cow. You are very nice I would have so said something to her. But u never know she may have been impressed. Ha ha bollocks to em.
Shame we dont have a photo gallery would love to see baby valium hpbp goat bythesea sea ff and midget. Bet they r all cute as bugs. I am still amazed that I have a little baby. Still seems strange

midget I think we had a routine for all of about 5 minutes. Then just as I thought I had anroughmideamwhatnwas going to happen when, t all went entirely pear-shaped. and Babygoat feeds to sleep, we are all happy and relaxed that way - surely an important factor? ( though there are things I don't tell the hv, such as that BG likes to sleep on me rather than beside me...

ff I love your five month rule! Can I have it age adjusted like you do for prems?
And at lady's surprise at your 'geriatric' standing. Reminds me of announcing my pregnancy and being asked 'oh, so didn't you realise you could get pregnant at your age?' that was by my sister

lrm so sory about your bf problems. Really hope the nct counsellor is useful.

Oh dear. There is now a distinctive odour wafting from BG's rear end. Damn, a nappy change will wake him properly.

Sorry, that's terrible for typos, hope it is at least comprehensible! One fingered typing on an iPad while feeding!

hello! I had a 2 whole hour cosleeping nap this afternoon, and feel so much better - going to try and do that every day. I think it was such a good relaxing sleep because you had all made me feel much better about cosleeping.

midget we have utterly no routine, doing on demand feeding for now, so baby seaside is in charge. I'd quite like a teeny bit more structure but going to wait for a few weeks I think. I generally feed to sleep too, no way she would sleep otherwise I don't think. Is it a bad idea then? I've been reading the Baby Whisperer (finding it patronising, but with good tips), who suggests you can fix bad habits with a couple of days of reinforcing new good habits in baby's first few months, so I'm going to chill out about my current wealth of bad habits for now!

lrm good luck with nct bf lady. babyseaside is doing a lot of fussing, moaning and shaking her head when latched before getting cracking, not sure what it means, but it is very funny to watch. I like the idea of our bugs in a row! I dont believe I have one either - dp and I keep looking at eachother and saying 'we actually have a baby!'

vq sorry about your dh. Its me thats being grumpy in our house, when Im so tired Im utterly intolerant of how dp does nappy changes, winding etc etc. what an idiot, Ill end up getting stuck with all the work if Im not careful ...

ff fuming on your behalf! mind you dp was mistsken for my father by a neighbour the other day, which I think is worse :)

Anyone have thoughts on swaddling? feel like Im putting her in a straightjacket

seaside Babygoat has very strong views on swaddling! he is a Houdini. I felt very smug when an experienced nurse said 'oh, leave him to me, no baby has ever escaped my swaddling'. And guess what?...
But then this is the baby who removed the mittens they sellotaped to his hands in NNU to stop him pulling his lines out...

goat that's so funny! baby seaside managed to get one of her swaddled hands free by pulling it out of her babygro sleeve and escaping through the neck, we did laugh! If she wakes up swaddled she makes a massive effort to escape, with lots of determined grunting. I don't like the thought of her being so frustrated but when the swaddling works the sleep is delicious...

Mine is the MIT monster. He wont keep them on. They are all over the house. Swaddling wise he likes it and is great when feeding sometimes to help with windmill arms :-D
Lucky to have dp. When he came home today he knew I had shit day. I think the give away was I had not brushed my hair and still in Jim jam. He took baby monkey off me and let me get a couple hours kip. Woke up with boobs desperate to be emptied. Dp does the get up and change while I wriggle around the bed and get the milking machine ready. So good tag team ;

Ps. Thank god for this new phone I can go on line while feeding. Seems random going on line to have a look at handbags at 3 in the morning. I like the Vivienne Westwood ones. Can't afford em. Nice to look. Plus been following the usa elections like a soap opera last three weeks. X

Had a massive argument with DH tonight, can't sleep since 3.30 and it is now 5.25, today will be a nightmare for me and everyone around me, I am very bad tempered when I lack sleep. DS1 is going to EuroDisney later for the first time with DH. Hope I will get a chance to nap.
Sorry for the moan. You are the only ones I can turn to :(

hpbp im sorry you've had such a bad night, sleep deprivation is the worst thing isn't it? we are rowing more than.normal too even tho dp mainly being very supportive, i think it must be common with a newborn and being knackered, but its hard when its really the last thing you need. can you sleep when baby sleeps today? Perhaps you can let yourself have a slobby day like your mn friends in pjs today?
lrm your dh sounds lovely. i just spent a happy bf checking out vivienne westward on my phone inspired by u, its the suits and dresses i love. will wear one maybe if we ever get married ...

Hpb. Morning honey. U sound like u need a lazy Jim jam day in bed with liittle Anastasia. Lack of sleep sucks. Before baby monkey I would get no less then 8 hours or I was not able to function or wanted to. I would so fed up. I must admit that was one of my major concerns about myself having baby lack of sleep. I get about 5 hours a day at the moment. I remember when I was in hospital and had to feed express feed express as he woke every hour I did not sleep for 48.hours oh that sucked.
Ladies we all need to spoil ourself today. Be it long bath. Choccy treat or buy something for yourself on line. I know we all deserve it big time. I think I will take little man to the shops today and buy a double decker bar sod the bloody weight till after Christmas. Your right ff to much pressure to loose weight. I look forward to hearing from each of u want u have done today.
Oh how long till I can have a bath after c section? I have showered by the way dont smell like a tramp just yet! !!! :

Posting from phone so will probably mix messages up as relying on baby brain.

Big virtual hug for HP - rowing am when you are low and tired is horrible, last thing you need. Hope you and DP kiss and make up this morning.

LRM hope the bed rest is sorting you and monkey out. Poor master nudge is sneezing and snuffling - we should probably do the same.

FF rudeness! I honestly forget that I am old. I would wonder who they were talking to and look for the old bird .

Goat baby goat sounds like he lives up to his name. Mug kudos to mini Houdini.. I haven't swaddled this time. I did swaddled dd as she was too tiny for grobags but midge has gone straight into them or he is in with me.

bytheseaside that's also what I am doing so far. I did everything by instinct last time which worked well for us short term but ended up with some bad sleep habits. I am keen to avoid those again but wasn't sure when to start. When they are so lite seems right to follow their lead. I just got lazy and tried to change too late. Sure I will do the same again despite my good intentions. Not that it matters too much Dd turned out well but I am too old for all that loss of sleep malarkey . Also loath to change much now as master midge pretty angelic already. no smug face as I know this could change over night!

Right have to go prise this little fellow off my boob and go get nappies living the dream. Big waves to all.

Yesterday I managed to walk the dog with both dc's. This seemed like a major achievement. Hoping I have turned a corner as have become less fearful of coping with my new family.

Fecking auto correct...

seaside I think swaddling works best when they are mostly asleep. But do you have the prem sleep pattern of being very light most of the time? BG wakes so easily.
lrm I would not survive without nighttime Internet! And a spoily day would be lovely...
So sorry about the argument hpbp makes things feel so much worse with the sleep deprivation. Hope things are looking up for you. A friend just brought me the most chocolatey rocky road EVER so I send you some virtually!

Poor baby monkey. His cold is going but he has had green diarrhea for 24 hours been to gp and have given my dehydration sachets to give him some fluid to replace what has been lost. Have to take him back in the morning. My poor little guy is having a rough ride. They think he has a tummy bug but also if he has too much fore milk and not enough hind the sugars make him shifty. This breastfeeding is very stressful. ;/

Just a quick one to say thank you to every one. I stayed on my own with little Anastasia all day. That is the best for every one. The 2 men are out at EuroDisney anyway.
LRM, hope little man recovers soon from diarrhea, I know how stressful it is to have the first born not feeling well, I am sending hugs to you and baby. Don't give up BF if you enjoy it and combined feeding is a good solution if it can help a bit. As FF mentioned, you can do it for a few weeks and come back to EBF.
Will catch up properly with everyone later.

goat yes very light sleep! Unless kangaroo sleeping, in which case very deep ... Does the light sleeping last, do you know?

lrm poor baby monkey, we had weird green poo for 24 hours for no obvious reason a couple of weeks ago. freaks you out a bit doesn't it? Hopefully he will be fine v. soon. we tend to bf on one boob till bitter end to make sure of hind milk, but does take ages ...

I managed lrms treat challenge! Am sitting in cafe With baby seaside, coffee and cake, our first ever trip that isn't to hospital or gp poor little thing! I feel very proud. nearly left house with skirt and cardigan both inside out, but on the upside i was in proper clothes!! Wow

Bythesea. Wow cake love it. So glad u had a nice day. Made me laugh with your clothes inside out proper clothes wow u amaze me today. I noticed when I got home from docs I had tucked my top into my knickers and they showed over my jeans. Yes ladies I am wearing monster knickers. So I win the sexy bitch award

I ended up at the docs so no treat for me. However had a nice walk. Took an hour. Breastfeeding specialist due this evening. Hope it pays off. Dont think he is getting much hind milk

I have had 3 cupcakes. I blame you lot.