Guess what Tesco.com thought would be a suitable substitution for the bottle of Jacob's Creek Chardonnay I ordered last night?

[PuppyMonkey]

Boggers.

[UnquietDad]

No amusing ones happened to me personally, but I was chatting to the delivery man about this kind of thing a while back. His most amusing example was that a middle-aged lady who had requested a pack of peanuts had them replaced with a copy of "Nuts" magazine.

[melpomene]

I ordered a pack of sunflower seeds (to snack on) and they replaced them with a box of budgie treats.

[Lobyd]

I've had a proper giggle over these! I once didn't get any of the meat or fish I'd ordered, but did get a bag of four loose oranges. Militant vegetarian packer perhaps?

[Twims]

These are fab

[whomovedmychocolate]

I have only used them twice - in extremis when Ocado couldn't do it.

There were 35 items on my list and they managed four. FOUR FFS!

One of which was squashed by the other three.

[thisisyesterday]

why on earth do you lot still use tesco? lol

4 items out of your whole shopping is appalling.

[whomovedmychocolate]

Ocado once delivered six bottles of wine to me by mistake and when I queried it, told me to keep them. Perhaps one of them was the OPs?

[potplant]

I'm more shocked they refunded the delivery charge.

[whomovedmychocolate]

Quattrocento - I did this once - the no-substitutions thing. I ended up with four items from my shopping list arriving. Clearly my shopping was very esoteric and hard to find

[Quattrocento]

Click the no substitutions button. Seriously. The software gets a bit incredulous ("You have clicked the no substitutions button. Are you really really sure about this?") but it'll accept it in the end.

[drowninginclutter]

Sausage rolls instead of loo rolls!

Try wiping your arse with one of those...

[Yorky]

I must get more organised - hadn't realised I was missing out on such entertainment!

[thisisyesterday]

sausages has to win that one i reckon!!!

these are awful. we ought to make a proper list and send them to tesco and ask what's going on

[dilemma456]

Message withdrawn

[Honneybunny]

am rofl reading this thread!

we have had salad cream in stead of saturday paper. failed to see the connection there as well...

[catsmother]

I've had lemons instead of lemonade ...... like, I should make my own and was being lazy or something, notwithstanding the doubtful fact that there wasn't a single bottle of lemonade (or indeed Sprite or 7Up) in the whole store.

[modrin]

this thread is hilarious

[samplesale]

and there was someone else on here too wasn't there, who ordered a packet of mixed nuts and got... Nuts magazine.

[fanjolina]

who was it on here that ordered a pregnancy test, but had it substituted for....

....a box of condoms

[cyanarasamba]

Likewise SoMuchToBits - instead of a box of Cadbury's Heroes I once got.... nothing!

If you need chocolate/wine then you're not going to be picky, they could at least have grabbed something...

[Horton]

I once got a lemon meringue pie instead of a lemon. I like lemon meringue pie but it's not very nice on fish.

[Bettymum]

[christiana]

Message withdrawn

[Bettymum]

Christiana - Kettle Chips?

[SoMuchToBits]

I once had a Christmas cake in place of eggs - I suppose they assumed that was what I was going to use the eggs for

Also I once ordered some New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc wine, and they said they were unable to find a substitution, so delivered none! I find it hard to believe that they couldn't find another bottle of white wine in the whole store....