OK so this may just be PMT talking, but I am currently feeling worn out with the treadmill of work, cooking, tidying and finding constant entertainment for DS (4). He is a very high energy little boy who needs a LOT of physical exercise every day, never really plays alone and is currently going through a bit of a boundary-pushing stage. All of which I know is totally normal for his age.
But I keep thinking that this level of grind is ridiculous because we only have one child, he is fit and healthy and I am not a lone parent. I have absolutely NO reason to complain and know so many people who have to cope with much, much more.
Yet I am just knackered and feel like life is... not that much fun really tbh. I have fairly average to low standards re household cleanliness but I do work ft andand have a long commute. So I get up at 5 ish so I can manage to get enough done to pick DS up by 4.30 so he doesn't have a long day in childcare. I can't remember the last time I did something fun for me and I really, really miss quality time with DH because by the time DS is asleep we are too tired to do more than turn the telly on.
Have any of you experienced this? If so, what did you do to reintroduce some fun? All work and no play makes ocelots fed up cats!
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how to make life more fun?
ocelot41 · 18/01/2015 13:19
Sounds familiar with the odd difference here and there. Our Dc is 7. As he gets older you can exhaust him with extra curricular stuff like Cubs/Karate/Football till he finds one he likes. Trouble is: more exhaustion for you. Going to school will open up his social circle. I can see it's really hard to find a moment for yourself / yourselves.
Every now and again we do a "do we really need to do things this way?" with our home/work/dc wrangling routines. Sometimes a good idea pops up. 
to you 'cos it's tough when you can see no let up.
Thanks so my much for the replies, and 
not brickbats! I think I might look to do a swop with friends who are in a similar situation. No relatives nearby alas.
The 5am starts are to do with my job, not cleaning! I wake early, knock off urgent emails until DS wakes about 6.30. Cuddle with DS and am out the house by 7.00 to get to my desk by 8.10. DH gets DS up and to school and cleans kitchen.
I work through lunch so can leave at 4ish to get DS by 5 ish. Then start cooking tea, doing laundry and play time with DS. DH is home about 7. We both tag team over bed time which is about 8 so each one can sneak off to finish the odd thing for work. Then collapse for an hour in front of telly and start again.
Usually I count myself blessed that we both have jobs which allow us so much flexibility so our DS doesnt have to do massive hours of childcare on top of school at such a young age. But my workload is just getting heavier and heavier in my job. I started work at 4am this morning! It just feels like ft job bears no resemblance to 8 hours any more. Sorry, am whinging....
It is hard even without the early starts; you are not alone! Dd does swimming on the weekend which tires her out a bit (she's nearly 3.5yo) and it is nice to watch her learning without having to be in with her (although I did for the first term, be warned!). We walk there which is a nice chance to chat and also helps with the tiring out 
. Could you do something similar and take it in turns to go/relax or do it as a family - you and DH could then spend at least a little time having a nice chat alone on a weekend? It's not much but this and the ballet lesson she does in the week give me a little time to myself, even if I am in the same building!
Oh and sharing sleepover night with any friends he may have - dd's bf from nursery loves having her for a night and vice-versa. They entertain themselves pretty well but bedtime can be a nightmare. Does mean you get one night of in return though 
I have put in a request to work from home 1-2 days a week. Fingers crossed! 
We do have a swimming class for half an hour at w-ends too. Usually DH takes DS and I get whichever house jobs need doing done then.
No chance of GP help. One set is Down Under and one set is uninterested. Sleepovers at friends houses a good idea when he is a bit older (at the moment he likes the idea in principle but wants me there too!)
Taking time for lunch would mean I couldn't pick him up before 6pm. That's a long day for a little one. I know lots of good people choose to do that and it works for their families and others who have no choice. I personally think my DS would a state with tiredness by then - he is only just in reception. Days off also impossible too - we have spent large chunks of our leave covering illness already and I feel bad that that means some of the next couple of school hols will involve childcare.
What is really helping most so far is knowing I am not alone in finding this hard. I am surrounded by friends coping with serious health issues (their own, parents and/or child's), divorces, losing jobs and bereavement. So I don't really mention this to them as it is such small fry compared to what they have going on. But really I would just like a bit less of a GRIND all the time, you know?
And all the stuff I thought I would be able to do like batch cooking.How the AF does anyone fit that in????
Couple of things:
- you need to leave work at work. I know you're going to say "but that's not possible." but it is. Do it. Stop getting up at 5am. That will kill you long term. Emails can wait till you get to work. They truly can.
- Ditch the guilt. It is pointless. Your DS is fine.
- get a cleaner. Seriously. Cut something else out to afford it if you are stretched
- try and get some babysitters sorted - swap with another couple so you get a night out once a fortnight
- don't turn the TV on. Put som musis on and talk. Or get an "early night"
- don't worry if DS doesn't have a bath every night. He won't expolde
God it's hard, you have my utter sympathy. (2 kids though older, own business, lone parent) but you need to stop being a slave to it all and look for the cuttable corners.
Have a
though, you sound knackered!
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I have been in a similar situation and I feel your concerns. Without this sounding about me, sorry I used to get up at 5 do emails etc take done to nursery about 8 and work for 8:30 then leave work at 4 to collect. Then I reduced my hours to 80%, however my workload didn't reduce! Thankfully this was recognised and they upped me to 100% but I worked 80 in the office and 20 at home answering emails etc...
Moving onto school this gave me the flexibility to drop DS off at school and 3 nights a week he goes to after school club. Again this works well as being an only child he had interaction playtime.
Now DS is 8 and everything changes, bigger friends circle, weekend play dates, games consoles etc... We have to cancel things just to get time with him! And I end up sometimes with time on my hands I don't know what to do with!
So in short, fix a routine that suits, give yourself a break, but most importantly don't worry to much, your 'time' with DH will soon come along and you will wonder where have the years gone!
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