Paul McKenna - Webchat about emotional eating and weight loss, Friday 10 January.

[RachelMumsnet]

Paul McKenna is back! He joined us last January to talk about his book The Hypnotic Gastric Band. This year he's going to be telling us about his latest weight loss programme Freedom from Emotional Eating.

Emotional eating is the number one cause of obesity in the Western World. Paul's latest programme claims to bring about dynamic and lasting change and help break the cycle of frustration and self-medication with food.

Come and talk to Paul on Friday at 12pm or post a question to him in advance on this thread.

[KeemaNaanAndCurryOn]

I meant to add that I wonder if it's because I find eating so pleasurable that my brain wants more.

[PaulMcKenna]

@RoseRedder

Hi Paul

Do you believe if someone is eating a bit to much it's an emotional crutch?

Do you believe people can gain weight without eating more

I gained 3 stones when I was prescriped anti depressants......and I hardly eat anything during that period

Everyone changes the way they feel by some external means: drinking, drug taking, gambling, sex, shopping – all the things that we enjoy! And, of course, food is the world’s drug of choice. The only way to lose weight is to move less and move your body more. The chances are, if you are eating less and still haven’t lost weight, that your metabolism is too slow. This will have been caused undoubtedly by dieting, because your body starves itself but you also increase your ability to store fat – so when you come off the diet, there is 7/1- chance is that you will put on more weight than before.

The good news is metabolism is not a death sentence. The best way to slow your metabolism and gain weight is to diet regularly. However, the best way to speed your metabolism up is to move your body. Any movement at all counts as exercise. One of the main differences between a ‘naturally thin’ person and an overweight person, is 2000 steps a day- and that is a fifteen minute walk for most people. So – walk a minute here, a minute there etc – and suddenly you’re taking as many steps s a naturally thin person. You want to get your count up from 40000 to around 10000, and your metabolism is likely to rise. You might find that results will plateau, and then indeed you will lose more weight. Either way – if you get your step count significantly up and move your body more – I can’t see how it’s possible for your body not to speed up, and you to not lose weight.

[PaulMcKenna]

@GinSoakedMisery

Oh oh oh! Im at work but hopefully will get back before it ends.

I have been watching you on Daybreak this week, you do amazing work with people.

I am an emotional eater, my figure definitely shows it. I have a stressful life, child with SN, MIL who has her own disabilities who puts upon DH and I quite a bit and then the usual worries through other children and money. I used to be able to maintain my weight and was happy with it but for the past few years I have struggled greatly. I manage to lose 1-2 stone then something happens to rock the boat, I reach to food for comfort and bam, Im back to where I started. How can I get out of this, I really want to get out of this cycle.

Hi. Thank you for sharing with me candidly your situation. You are very much the person I have written this book for. The CDs, and in particular the having technique on the dvd will help you remain in a good, stable place when the boat gets rocked. I wish you in every way good luck.

[PaulMcKenna]

@ponygirlcurtis

Hey Paul

Is it possible to use your techniques to combat emotional eating to use with emotional drinking? I have a habit of using alcohol as a crutch when I'm stressed - there are lots of books about stopping smoking and stopping over-eating, but can't really find anything on combating drinking too much/emotional drinking.

Thanks!

Yes it is. But the CDs and the DVD are geared towards eating - so I couldn't guarantee it would work. I drink, so I haven't written a book on drinking. But a friend of mine, Kevin Laye, has written a good book called 'Positive Drinking' - it doesn't ask people to stop altogether, but encourages them to reduce their intake, so that they feel in control, rather than the alcohol.

[PaulMcKenna]

@cls77

Hi Paul

Can someone who has tried ICMYT a couple of times have the same effect? Or does the brain become used to the methods?

It’ a yes and no answer – the brain does get used to certain methods in many cases, However, this work in conjunction with my other 2 books/ CDs, and I believe you’ll find this beneficial. Plus, I have a new app for ICMYT which we’ve been getting phenomenal feedback on. It’s been cleverly designed by Paul Rice who’s one of the greatest app designers in the world - it’s like having me on tap every day. Check out – ‘change your life in 7 days’ (APP – itunes) where you can choose ‘thin’, ‘confident’ or ‘better sleep’.

[Sherlocked72]

Hi Paul,
I don't know if you have read my question above, so I'll post again.
I bought your book yesterday and feel like everything you have written is very true to me. I find it very difficult to visualise in my head, so things like the Havening technique and the self sabotage excercise are very difficult for me. I can't imagine walking on a beach, or walking downstairs, or say eating my fave food with hair and dirt on etc. I'm so desperate to lose weight as I'm in pain everyday. Please can you help me, or is there something I can do to help with visualisation?

[PaulMcKenna]

@sweetiepie1979

I reach for chocolate and crisps or bread as soon as mytoddler starts pplaying up or having a tantrum. I het Fed up and feel I need it to keep going buy that's not true. I was doing quite well with the 5.2 diet before Xmas but now I can't get in the zone. Help?

If the 5:2 works for you, I’m very happy for you. But remember – it’s a diet and as far as I can see there are no longitudinal studies – and whilst the are anecdotal reports of success, I can’t find a single longitudinal study. As we know, diet work very well in the short-term for people but not necessarily in the long term. if it’s working for you – great but if its not – try something else. I believe my new project could well offer you the support and change in relationship to food that you need. All your decisions about what you eat, when you eat and how much you eat etc take place in your mind. Your mind is like a computer, and it can be re-programmed. Thats the objective with my approach to weight loss, and I believe the results speak for themselves.

[goatsaregood]

Your first response was very interesting - I often work with people who have been through traumatic childhood experiences and many of them have eating disorders. I'm not a psychiatrist or counsellor or psychologist but am in a position where they often ask me for advice/help - and very often they would appreciate something specific to deal with one area of their lives, such as overeating. Is your book something I could recommend, as in, do you feel it's as close to 'trigger-free' as possible? Thank you.

[PaulMcKenna]

@Louloulouisa

Hi Paul

Is it possible to make myself like certain foods that I really don't like? I don't like any fruit, veg or salad, and really worry about my health, but they make me gag :(

PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEEAAAASE help :)

Lou :) x

Yes. It's possible to programme your mind to do all sorts of things. In fact I worked with somebody once, who hadn't eaten anything except bangers and mash since he was a child.

Really I'd want to know why you want to eat foods you don't like. Is it for health reasons, social pressure, or something else?

One of the things you may notice if you overeat and start to eat consciously, which is eating slowly, free of distractions and chewing the food twenty times, is that not only will you eat less, but your preferences may change towards healthy choices. Fast food, which is packed with salt and fat, often becomes less attractive than foods with nutritional value. I am not concerned with what you eat - that's the job of nutritionists. I'm concerned with helping you lose weight, which was recently confirmed by Yale University to be a behavioural issue.

In simple it's a yes, and any decent hypnotherapist should be able to help you, but I'm intrigued to know why.

[PaulMcKenna]

@KeemaNaanAndCurryOn

I'm very good at not eating, but as soon as I start, it find it really hard to stop and keep thinking about what else I could eat. Do you have any suggestions about how to break out of that thought cycle?

This book is perfect for you. This is not an uncommon problem . If you can't have one piece of chocolate, but you have to demolish a whole bar - the chocolate is in charge and not you. It sounds like there is a similar issue with food for you.

First of all, I would like to say to you - it's not your fault, it's the fault of your programming. Your brain is like a computer - you've picked up some habits that run automatically in your mind, just like programmes in a computer. My CDs and DVDs are designed to help you reprogramme your mind so that you feel more in control. I would specifically recommend a new iPhone app that I have made, or the Freedom From Emotional Eating CD which contains a technique called 'listen while you eat'. This trains your mind and your muscle memory to slow your eating speed down. It then becomes so easy to leave food on the plate because the signal from your body is much stronger. Alternatively, the Hypnotic Gastric Band will do something similar - training your unconscious and your body to enhance the signal so that you will feel fuller much quicker.

[PaulMcKenna]

@goatsaregood

Your first response was very interesting - I often work with people who have been through traumatic childhood experiences and many of them have eating disorders. I'm not a psychiatrist or counsellor or psychologist but am in a position where they often ask me for advice/help - and very often they would appreciate something specific to deal with one area of their lives, such as overeating. Is your book something I could recommend, as in, do you feel it's as close to 'trigger-free' as possible? Thank you.

Thank you very much for this question. I believe people who over-eat because of trauma are exactly the sort of people the book was written for and I want to help. In particular the DVD and CDs and the hypnotic trials on CD. Also recommend the Havening technique. See havening.org/Havening.org - the work of Dr Ronald Ruden Mc PHD is going to change the world. It's like =mc2 for psychology. You will also find examples of Havening on Youtube and my new book contains the DVD with 20 mins of standard Havening technique. For the more advanced techniques I recommend you train with Dr Ruden.

[PaulMcKenna]

@Sherlocked72

Hi Paul,
I don't know if you have read my question above, so I'll post again.
I bought your book yesterday and feel like everything you have written is very true to me. I find it very difficult to visualise in my head, so things like the Havening technique and the self sabotage excercise are very difficult for me. I can't imagine walking on a beach, or walking downstairs, or say eating my fave food with hair and dirt on etc. I'm so desperate to lose weight as I'm in pain everyday. Please can you help me, or is there something I can do to help with visualisation?

First of all, thank you very much for your question. I'm so glad that you found that the book resonated with you - that's the intention of the book.

Everyone can visualise - however, some people think that they have to see things as clearly as they do in real life when they visualise. They certainly do not, in fact it's better if they're not the same. Think of your front door - you make a picture of your front door in your head - that's how you remember what colour it is. Recall the face of your best friend - this is visualising too. You don't actually have to 'be on a beach', you just have to imagine what it's like if you were.

Thanks very much. God bless.

[Louloulouisa]

THANK YOU Paul

This is the BEST news.

I want to eat those things to be healthy, i hardly like any food. But I don't eat rubbish, my diet mainly consists of chicken/pork , sweet potatoes, homemade toast, beans & weetabix!

I tried a hypnotherapist but it didn't work???

THANK YOU :D

[KeemaNaanAndCurryOn]

Thank you for your reply :)

[goatsaregood]

Thanks so much for replying - training wouldn't be appropriate for me in my work (sounds much more mysterious than it is but hard to go into detail without outing myself and therefore compromising the anonymity of people I work with), but I will look at that website.

It's very interesting because I got your 'Sleep' book some years ago when things were pretty bad for me, and I was amazed by the results from the first night. I tell people but often there is a reluctance with some to try it, and the same can go for weight loss - fear of success perhaps?

I'm not allowed another question I don't think - but if the rules get slack and everyone feels kindly , maybe you could answer this: if someone has multiple issues they would like to deal with, and you have books on more than one (sleep, confidence, eating), how should they approach that?

Many thanks - will order the book today!

[Whitershadeofpale]

Sorry to repost but I could really do with some help:

My question is about the one area I'm having difficulty with; havening. When I recall an emotion or instance that has made me feel like eating I become so consumed by it that I can't focus on the techniques. For example at the moment I'm stressed about social services involvement and a court case involving a close family member. I feel helpless to help him and stressed, this makes me want to eat. However, when I call these emotions to mind I become worried and the problems go round and round in my head (and I feel like I have a huge knot in my stomach). This means I can't focus on the positive visualizations just on the negative emotions.

Can you help me get past this so I can get the most out of the plan?

Also do you have any plans for more seminars; I think I might benefit from a personalized experience?



Thanks

[PaulMcKenna]

@onetiredmummy

Hi Paul,

Why do people repeatedly self sabotage their efforts?

How can persistent self sabotage be stopped if there's no apparent reason for it?

Thanks :)

This is a great question and indeed my new book deals with self sabotage. Self sabotage deals with what is usually called secondary gain. In other words there will be another reason for doing something that isn't in your best interest. For example, procrastinators are rarely lazy people. They're frightened of making the wrong decision so they choose to make no decision. So the secondary gain is that they stay safe, however they lose out on achieving their true potential.

Recently, a lady said to me she'd bought my CDs but hadn't lost weight. When I asked how often shed used them, she said she hadn't used them at all. When I asked why, she said it was because she thought they would make her hate chocolate, and she loved it. Whilst amusing, this is an example of self sabotage.

Many people start a diet because they feel post-Christmas guilt. Yet as soon as they start it, deep down they know they're going to fail. A part of them cant wait to, so they can go back to eating their favourite foods instead of chemical, fat free rubbish. They want to get the struggle of dieting with over as soon as possible, so they can tick the box which reduces guilt - because they tried - but they haven't followed through with it.

With diets the cards are so stacked against you. I'd recommend not starting one. There's a 91% chance that you won't succeed and a 70% chance that you'll gain more weight when you come off the diet than you had before.

My approach doesn't work for everyone every time, but has a success rate of 70%, according to studies, and it's very different to a diet. Diets are concerned with not eating this and eating that. Some weight loss clubs are not in the weight loss business, they're in the food business. They sell you low fat chemical crap, which they make billions from, by the way.

My approach is an internal recalibration with food and with the world. We've had 40 years of dieting and yet obseity is rife in the Western world. I think it's time for a new approach, and changing our relationship with food from the inside is the best solution I can see right now and gaining the support of a variety of Doctors.

[ThenAgain]

Have you got any advice for people that have tried your gastric band hypnotherapy but didn't feel the effect - e.g. didn't feel like they had a band? I loved your first book and so wanted it to work but just didn't get the effect. Should I try it a few times?

[mohhum]

I'm disappointed paul. all you do is ask us to buy your books, didn't find any genuine advice. sorry

[PaulMcKenna]

@Solo

Hi Paul, Happy New Year and welcome!
I'm hoping to make the webchat tomorrow, but just in case I can't...

I came to your ICMYT seminar 3 years! ago and was astounded by the effect you and it had on me. I lost 2 stones altogether which was great, but sadly, I have gained half of that back and cannot seem to get back into the zone to lose the weight I need to. I lose a few lbs and completely sabotage my efforts for some reason.
I hate not being able to wear clothing that makes me feel good about myself and that makes me feel frumpy. I am definitely an emotional eater. How do I sort myself out please? Some of the emotional stuff that's causing my eating habits:
I'll be 50 in March, been made redundant, my house is falling down, I'm an emotional hoarder, single parent with no support. Oh! and one of my 2 children is a 15yo Son!! (please tell me how I can hypnotise him to be nice again)

I take part in a 'Paul McKenna ICMYT' thread on Mn and we are very supportive of one another. We are just about to go to our 14th thread! Some of the ladies have or are thinking of buying your book.

Thank you in advance!

Hi Solo

It sounds like you deal with many of the challenges that mothers face, and frankly I'm amazed at how you do it! - so, it's understandable that you might use food from time to time to get you through some of the challenges.

Remember , it's not your fault - it's the fault of your programming. I believe this new book will make you feel calmer in yourself. However, if you want to feel better and improve your self-image. I would suggest you get my ICMYT CDs/ DVD (which are probably on ebay now!) - but will soon be on iTunes. One DVD in particular, called 'Your Perfect Body' , is very much about increasing self-esteem, which very often people who out on weight suffer form a lack of.

Remember your worth as a human being is the same today as it was the day you were born, and will be until the day you die.

You sound like a good person to me - good luck.

[Sherlocked72]

Thanks for your answer Paul. I wonder if I am trying too hard to recall things? But I just can't seem to see! when I close my eyes and try to focus my brain just says "I don't think so" and I just see nothing! so frustrating.

[PaulMcKenna]

@Squiffyagain

I have been hungry for 7 years now. Gut-wrenchingly hungry. If I relax for a weekend or go to a dinner party, the normal 'price' is 1.5 kilos that then take about 3 weeks to come back off. My problem is due to a metabolism problem that simply can't be fixed (I am missing completely a hormone that should be there and this is thought to be the cause, but no one knows for certain). I have a couple of times experimented with eating enough during meals until i stopped feeling hungry, and the weight gain was relentless and took months to get back off

I accept that I will always have to eat much less than other people just to stay stable, and I eat healthily and don't deny myself in terms of what I eat (it is simply the amount that's the problem). And i dont even like cakes or chocolates or white carbs, so its not as if i have bad habits that need to be fixed. But what can I do to stop the constant hunger? It's relentless, like living with a really bad toothache, and it gets me down more than anything. Is this something you have seen before and can help with?

If you're missing a hormone this is a medical issue and you need to consult doc. However, Hypnotic Gastric Band may help you to feel fuller quicker and hungry less of the time. Many people who use this book and CD report this is the case to me. Given this medical issue I can't guarantee results but do speak to your doctor and if they are okay with this, then give it a try. Good luck to you.

[goatsaregood]

mohhum - well, there was genuine advice in his reply to me; he directed me to a website I had no idea about and suggested techniques that I could use for other people.

[Solo]

Thank you Paul! I do have those CD's as I got them at the seminar! will start to listen again I think :) thank you!

[PaulMcKenna]

@tinypumpkin

Paul, what is your biggest vice and thing that you have to battle with the most yourself?

Some of them are not actually printable .

When my father died I noticed I drank more and whilst it provided a temporary solution when I sobered up the feelings of sadness were still there. I come from a family of people who are overweight but I was a cantankerous child and didn't always eat the food on my plate - I'd prefer it to remain on my plate than go on my thighs. I have problems and challenges just like everyone else. I am a bloke from north london, doing my best to help other people, which I do rather well but I'm not always the best at helping myself, then I turn to a colleague.