What have I done?! Come and save my Bolognese!

[youmaycallmeSSP]

I'm making tagliatelle spaghetti Bolognese. I used a mix of 400ml red grape juice and 100ml red wine vinegar as a substitute for red wine. It's been simmering for an hour and the smell is foul and the taste is, erm, vinegary. I've been chucking sugar into it but it doesn't seem to be making much difference. Can it be saved? I was thinking of reducing it right down and then boiling off milk through it before adding more tomato purée but I don't want to keep adding things if it's completely hopeless. What do I do?!

[Lovecat]

Ah, sorry, I didn't realise, just thought you'd run out!

[youmaycallmeSSP]

LadyCat? LoveCat :o

[youmaycallmeSSP]

Mmm, grey risotto

LadyCat we're Mormons so I don't cook with wine.

[utopian99]

This is so funny am planning on keeping it to read to dh in the morning.. (he's a closet classics fan)

Reminds me of the time I made him grey risotto. First meal I cooked him, foolish boy for hanging around after that one.

[Lovecat]

You mean to tell me you schlepped all the way to the supermarket to buy new ingredients and you didn't buy red wine while you were there ??? ???

Thank you for the funniest thread I've read in a long time, however :o

[LadyMaryQuiteContrary]

Don't worry. Put this one down to experience and in the bin

[youmaycallmeSSP]

Thank you LadyMary, I have a shelf-full of cookbooks but this is what happens when I go off-piste!

I'm pleased to say that we've just had some of the second batch for dinner and it was scrumptious, although not as exciting as the first batch. This time I replaced the grape juice and vinegar red wine with stock made from an Oxo cube and a dash of Lea & Perrins.

I'm glad my antics have amused so many people!

[amillionyears]

Glad it has gone into classics.
I am a bit notorious amongst family for failing to have a sense of humour, but I thought this thread was hilarious.

[VoldermortOrJackBauer]

Mirepoix, garlic, tom purée, chopped toms, eggs, Yorkshire pudding, mug of gin, garibaldi biscuits. Yummy.

I was keeping it together until I got to this part...

Sorry about your sauce OP snigger

[Sunnywithshowers]

I have cried at this thread OP.

[LadyMaryQuiteContrary]

I have a spare cook book if you'd like it, OP.

[Toomanyworriedsonhere]

Well done for getting in classics.
It serves me right - I haven't laughed so much for years and I was feeling so smug while I was cooking.
I will turn it into chilli con carne with a couple of tins of kidney beans.

[youmaycallmeSSP]

Oh no Toomany, how annoying.

It's taken me 3.5 years to get a thread into Classics... Every cloud has a silver lining! I can't tell DH though as I'm not supposed to be on here and I don't think he would understand that it was an emergency.

[CharlieSilver]

PomBear

[PomBearWithAnOFRS]

"when it was in my mouth is tasted awful but it left a nice after-taste, not at all vinegary"

I bet you say that to all the boys

[showtunesgirl]

Yay! Thank you MNHQ, now made Classics!

[Toomanyworriedsonhere]

OP I do hope yours turned out okay.

Mine has gone wrong for the first time ever and I've been cooking the same recipe for 30 years.
I always put some cayenne in for a bit of background 'character' and today it is almost inedibly spicy. I can only think I have been doomed by this thread!

[youmaycallmeSSP]

Good luck toomany!

Bolognese sauce #2 is bubbling away nicely. I've resisted the temptation to add DS's slippers but I nearly put vinegar in again twice. It was a real effort to stop myself! I've been turning over the grape juice & vinegar idea in my mind for a few weeks so I suppose it's imprinted itself on my subconscious :o Maybe DH shoud have drunk the vinegar too...

[Wallison]

Lentils have no place in a bolognese sauce. It might be a nice sauce, but it's not bolognese.

[MrsGeologist]

Fantastic thread

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

I am loving this thread. But only because I too have ruined my bolognese by putting white wine and sugar in it thanks to some poncy good food recipie. It is not good food. It is fucking horrible.
I would imagine adding the ops slippers would make it more bearable.

Even the dog will not eat it.

[coffeeinbed]

I like the idea of lentils in it.
Mind you. I do love lentils.
Will try next time.
In the spirit of the OP.

[WingDefence]

Wow OP, the quantities in that recipe would feed 10!

I tend to find the difference between cottage pie mince mixture and Spag Bol is in the tomatoeyness.

Good luck next time! :)

[Rosyisgonnabeamummy]

Add port or wine