I am really struggling with my 5 year old boy-girl twins and would love to hear advice/ reassurance from anyone who’s been in my boat!
They are just about to go into Year 1 and are very bright but their behaviour is really getting me down. As well as all the usual not getting dressed/ shoes on/ undressed for the bath, etc that would apply to most kids, they are just very naughty and because they are the same age and the same level of maturity I find it makes it worse as they each find the other one hilarious when they are doing something silly/ saying something rude.
Examples are:
- constant potty talk. I realise this is common at their age but they are always doing it at inappropriate times, like at the dinner table. I’ve tried telling them off, explaining why it is rude and we don’t do it, but still it continues and as soon as one starts talking about poo the other one bursts out laughing. They have recently learned some new words like ‘fart’ from school and keep saying them no matter how much I tell them off and protest.
- Meal times in general. As well as the potty talk they will do silly things like drop food into their drinks or play with food. The other one will think it hilarious and it’ll end with me threatening to confiscate things/ ban tv (I do follow through too) and generally getting a bit annoyed and fed up and them both laughing. I honestly feel ganged up on and close to tears sometimes (DH isn’t usually home at their meal times).
- Lots of showing each other their genitals and talking about them, etc. I’m sure this happens less with siblings who are same sex/ different ages?
- Being disrespectful to adults, ie climbing all over them, calling them poo-head, etc. Being told off seems to make no difference. Recently, a friend of DH’s was recently telling some other friends how naughty they are.
As you can see I’m really struggling with disciplining them and feel that them being twins and the same age exacerbates their behaviour. I’ve tried reward systems but it got to the point where if I asked them to do something they would ask ‘what will I get?’ and I don’t want them to only do things when there is something in it for them.
But I just end up with sanctions instead (confiscating toys/ no tv) but it doesn’t seem to curb the behaviour in the long run.
At school they appear to be well-behaved! One even got a head teachers’ award for impeccable behaviour! When I have them on their own (rare) they are so easy, it’s just when they are together.
Any help/ advice appreciated as I am struggling so much.
