Move to London a good/bad idea for Single mom with one DD?

[suzydelarosa]

I'm a single mom to a 5 year old who is just about to start school. Have been doing it solo for just over a year now which is fine as my job is fairly relaxed and I have a good routine. However I really want an opportunity to take my career 'up a notch' and would love to move to London; I just dont think Scotland offers as much in opportunities and, to be fair, I just want a new start. It's a pretty relaxed life up here but I want more...

Anyway,,, I've been offered a few exciting jobs in London but each time I bow out because although London seems grand on paper... I start worrying about having to live in a very expensive 1 bed rental flat and living my life rushing from work to afterschool club! Worried I've got 'rose-tinted' glasses about London and the reality will be much different.

How do the single moms living in London cope? Grateful for any thoughts...

Some stats: I'm 40. Good salary between 40-50. Scotland based. Some family in London but not hands on... Thoughts?

[VioletV]

lol at all these trying to sell London. I'm not wrong with my comments though. And I suggested Hertfordshire as it's just outside. there are other places and it's not just one train that runs there lol


cestlavielife so your child goes to school in zone 2?

[runningballs]

I live in central London (zone 1) and I love it here. I think it's better for primary aged children than secondary - there are lots of good primary schools and parks, museums etc to keep them entertained. DS is 12 now and it's a bit harder as you're not supervising them so much and he's less interested in museums etc, and yes crime is a worry.

We've never actually been victims of crime (bar the odd pickpocketing) but our local papers are filled with stories of stabbings/drugs etc. But DS goes to school out of the area so he's slightly removed from all of that.

Financially I've managed because I live in a HA house and live close enough to walk to work, plus I had family to help with childcare. I think it can get very expensive otherwise and £40k is an OK but not great salary (well, I say that - mine is much lower but my outgoings are so low that I probably have the same disposable income). But I know other families who have that income or lower and are raising children comfortably around here.

You can learn to live on very little once you get savvy, learn to buy from the cheapest places, take advantage of free events/opportunities etc.

Personally, I would get bored living further away from the centre, but I know city centre living doesn't suit everyone. You just have to think about what's important to you and the kind of lifestyle you want.

[AmberLeaf]

VioletV..you kind of are wrong with your comments though!

Its NOT all bad and i dont think it is as dangerous as you are making out, I was born in London and have lived here for the majority of my adult life and ive never fingers crossed been a victim of violent crime or theft. I do know people who have but then i also know people who have outside of london too.

IMO the benefits outweigh the negatives.

London is a fantastic place to grow up...thats why everyone wants to come here!

[cestlavielife]

there ar e quite a few new build share buy options -

nice ones in fortune green
www.smartshare.co.uk/property/view/4125

www.sharetobuy.com/sharedownership.php?localauthority=-1&county=27&Go=Go which you might qualify for

i work zone 1, dds go to school zone 2 - but i was remembering 7/7/ when i had to walk home ! ds zone 3

[cestlavielife]

herts etc is fine if you have a SAHP or local friends/relatives who can pick up slack if your train is delayed/not working.



central london zones 1-2 - always options buses taxis even walking - or a boris bike.
but if you outside in herts and trains fail you basically stuffed - tho yes some coaches up to luton ...

[ScroobiousPip]

It's been a few years since I lived in London but 40-50k doesn't seem like a lot if you're on a single salary and have got childcare, travel and rent to pay. I'd guess you'd probably want double that at least to maintain the same standard of life that you have in Scotland.

[VioletV]

AmberLeaf I am not wrong. It is my opinion and you disagree with it. I love how you say everyone want's to come here. Everyone like who? The only people coming to live in lonodn are single people and foreigners. Not families. Everyone who can get out, get's out. So no, I'm kinda not wrong.

[Snapespeare]

I moved from Glasgow to zone 5 (20 minutes from Victoria) last october - my 3 children are older (secondary school age) and it is expensive, but I think the benefits for my career and the opportunities for my children as they get older outweigh the expense. Depending on what area of Glasgow you are from you may well be familiar with crime anyway (!)

How about a single parent house share? hook up with another single parent to share expense?

Happy to have a chat by PM if you think it might be helpful. :)

[suzydelarosa]

Thanks all. Snapespeare - am living in the west end but conscious that I could get lulled into an easy life. I will probably get flamed for this but I want to be in a city with industry not just everyone working in public sector or servicing public sector which is what I feel Glasgow has become! moving is tough and around here there are a lot of people very settled but I miss the buzz.... Suggested salary for single parent in London?

[cestlavielife]

salary: as much as you can get.... but she school age so you can use after school /holiday clubs - i pay £18 per day in nw london for holiday scheme - chekc which schools run before/after school clubs . after school care club comes to about £200 per term per child

not sure about london being a city with industry tho - dont think much of uk has industry any more...

[AmberLeaf]

VioletV. OK, you are generalising hugely and focusing on the negatives only You are also stating your opinions as facts.

Everyone who can get out, get's out.

Really? Well I left london for a time with my family, not because i hated london-for other reasons.
Well I hated it, as did my children, we missed all the good stuff london had to offer.

So we moved back to london!

Every area has its good and bad points.

[VioletV]

Amber,you've still not answered my question. Everyone like who is moving back to London. You're one case... My opinion is fact. The crime rate is high and it is dangerous living in London. It isn't the best place to bring children up. I agree every area has it's good and bad shame London has more bad than good.

Oh and FWIW I don't hate London. I just don't think it's the best place to bring children up anymore.

[AmberLeaf]

I didnt say everyone is moving back to london, I said 'thats why everyone wants to come here' Dont ask me to quantify that statement until you can do the same with yours of 'it is dangerous living in London' and 'It's not a great place to raise children.'

I disagree on both points, ive not felt it danger in London anymore than i have anywhere else. I think its a great place to raise children, mine are doing great at good schools, they have enjoyed the facilities London has to offer.

I have lived with my family in 2 different places outside of London, one was a particularly affluent area, yet i still prefer London and all that it offers.

[VioletV]

I don't need to state a fact to you. I said I don't THINK it's the best place to bring up children. You still haven't answered my question so until you do, I shall not bother replying to your responses which only seem to bang on about how wonderful and not in danger you think London is.

[AmberLeaf]

I don't need to state a fact to you. I said I don't THINK it's the best place to bring up children

Previous post you said;

My opinion is fact after stating your opinion

The first bit that i quoted you on makes sense now, you're clearly saying its only what you think and so not fact.

You are completely entitled to your opinion, i only objected to you trying to argue it as a fact which it is not

Anyway its friday and theres a bottle of wine in the fridge with my name on it.

Have a nice weekend.

[PatriciaHolm]

"My opinion is fact"

What a ridiculous statement

I know loads of families happily living in London. Have you been to Putney, Fulham, Wandsworth, or Primrose Hill lately? You can't move for buggies and children.

Obviously there are parts of London that aren't very salacious; but London is a huge place, and there are lots of very family friendly areas. For example, there are more violence against the person crimes per head of population in Brighton than there are in Putney.

You may not think it's the best place to bring up children. Many other people would differ. Their opinion is as valid as yours.

[threefeethighandrising]

If you're getting £40K in Scotland you'll get much more for an equivalent job in London, you'll be fine, flat-wise!

Do you know people in London? Are you good at meeting new people?
London can be a great place to grow up, it just depends on what you want and what you like (sorry stating the obvious!).

The thing that might shock you (it did my Scottish DP) is the difference in the schools system from Scotland to England. In London there is intense competition to get into the good state schools, you need to live practically on top of them to be guaranteed a place.

[VioletV]

Er where have I shot down anyone's opinion Patricia?! It's my opinion that's being shot down here. What I'm saying is fact. Whether you or amber or anyone else who wishes to post on here and wants to disagree with me, I'm not going to change my mind and none of you can say I'm wrong with my opinion. Nor should you state it's a ridiculous statement just because you disagree with it. I'm not typing how stupid I think what each and every one of you are saying am I?

I'm not flouncing I really cannot be fucked to keep on repeating the same line. So I shall not bother to reply anymore as you're not going to agree with me and I'm not going to agree with any of you.


OP you live where you want. You wanted opinions you got one person saying don't do it (eg me) and the rest saying how wonderful it is. Yeah, maybe if you live in Chelsea....

[Rainbow01]

Richmond, Kew.............great places, best schools in borough.....:)

[suzydelarosa]

Thanks for your opinions and ideas but please stop arguing! Calm blue ocean: :) Kew, Richmond and some of those neighbourhoods are great but I think I'd have to be making a lot of money to live there; seriously I couldn't afford a 2 bed flat.

And the school thing IS scary.

I think to make the transition from Scotland to London and ensure we dont spend our time cutting coupons I'm probably going to need an uplift of 30%-40%. 50% x 1.4 = £70k... hmmm

Looks like its haggis and Irn Bru for the next while...

[suzydelarosa]

Sorry I meant 50k + 40% = 70K

[threefeethighandrising]

What do you think you would earn reasonably?
Perhaps we could suggest some nice but more affordable areas?

[suzydelarosa]

hey three feet - affordable areas much appreciated; my experience is primarily of zone 1. Since I work in the arts it's a cap of about £50k. I think if I were to jump ship to more traditional marketing, more than that... sigh!

[Snapespeare]

I earn £30k, get tax credit & chb on top of that & get a rent allowance from work, as I still have property in Glasgow that I'm trying to sell, but isn't shifting.. so total income is around £43k ish. I have three children & rent a 3 bed property. It is do-able if you take advantage of the loads of free stuff going on in London & shop wisely. It is expensive only if you choose to do expensive things!
Not to fuel the argument, but I came back to London after having children in Glasgow. I love living here, it's vibrant, multi-cultural, people are friendly, I think if you give them a chance, but that could be said for many cities.

[RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles]

I am moving back to London in October after 7½ of living in Southern Spain and can not wait to get back there. SW London where I'm heading back to is wonderful for children and families. Transport links into central london take 10 minutes (Clapham Junction/Balham/Wandsworth Common into Victoria or Waterloo. Even the tube from those areas rarely takes more than 30 minutes to, say, Oxford Circus.

One can very easily rent a two bedroomed garden flat in Tooting Bec/Balham for around £1,500, but often they can be found for less. Excellent schools, spoilt with Commons and Parks. Gatwick half an hour away on the train. In all the years I lived in London before moving to Spain (18, plus my father lived there from when I was 6 on and off) I have never been the victim of crime.

I love London, my children love London and we are all beyond excited to be going back there for good. As Snapespeare says (and I'm sure others), London is as expensive as you let it be. There is SO much to be done with children, from 0-18, that costs very little, or nothing at times, that one's weekends can be as quiet or as busy as one wishes.