Move to London a good/bad idea for Single mom with one DD?

[suzydelarosa]

I'm a single mom to a 5 year old who is just about to start school. Have been doing it solo for just over a year now which is fine as my job is fairly relaxed and I have a good routine. However I really want an opportunity to take my career 'up a notch' and would love to move to London; I just dont think Scotland offers as much in opportunities and, to be fair, I just want a new start. It's a pretty relaxed life up here but I want more...

Anyway,,, I've been offered a few exciting jobs in London but each time I bow out because although London seems grand on paper... I start worrying about having to live in a very expensive 1 bed rental flat and living my life rushing from work to afterschool club! Worried I've got 'rose-tinted' glasses about London and the reality will be much different.

How do the single moms living in London cope? Grateful for any thoughts...

Some stats: I'm 40. Good salary between 40-50. Scotland based. Some family in London but not hands on... Thoughts?

[octobersunshine]

Just to join this thread... I'm in a similar position having lived in London then moved back to the north just before due date. My ex left shortly after birth and now I feel stuck in a city where the career prospects are limited. Can anyone advise whether you'd manage on a salary of 35k in London, plus 350 child maintenance, what benefits you'd be entitled to, and whether it would work?

[Kaykay1234]

Just a suggestion (I’ve never lived in London so can’t comment on that part), you were saying about the childcare and not being back by 6...what about childminders? I live a 30 min train commute to London Euston, you could look at living more on the outskirts that’s cheaper and change the childcare side whilst working centrally?

[annaharvey]

Hi,

London is an exciting place to live and especially if you have a job already, then it should be a good place to move. Just stay a bit careful with your expenses during the first few months of your stay and see how you can handle finances. Apart from your day job, I suggest you take up any weekend or seasonal jobs if you like. There is an agency named BlueArrow - they help with such part time jobs. Perhaps working occasionally like that would help you get additional cash which you might need if you are living in London.

[emma1282]

If you are planning to move to London, I suggest you stay a bit away from Central London as its very expensive there. The London Underground is very strong and you can easily travel to Central London if need be (for work etc.). I suggest you stay in West London in areas like Uxbridge or Hayes. There the cost of living is relatively less and I am sure as a single mother you can handle there. All the best.

[ritaH2O]

suzydelarosa, did you make it? :)

[cestlavielife]

Have a look here ask them to send you a copy and flick thru what's on

www.familiesonline.co.uk/LOCATIONS/London-Surrey-Borders#.UdIGjWt5mSM

[JPizel]

Can anyone advise if Croydon is a nice enough area to bring up kids. My work is based there and I'd like if possible to reduce commute and childcare costs. But if the area is not suitable for kids then that ruins that thought.

[AnnoyedAtWork]

The childcare - commute to work thing is an issue in London because most people can't afford to live in zone 1 near work. If you live in 2 or 3 as I do you will need to allow 45 mins minimum to get from work to day nursery / after school club most of which only run till 5.30pm. Same in the morning - most breakfast clubs you would not be able to be at work on time.

One solution is to put child in school / nursery near your work rather than near your house. But then you have to commute with them.

What I had to do in the end is pay a lot of money for 07.30-1830 wrap around childcare (the same cost as a live out nanny for 25hrs per week).

It's a very big % of my salary but the better career opportunities I have here in London make it worth it. Fwiw I moved from Scotland 2 years ago.

[equinox]

I would say go for it and just ensure you live near your job in a green/trendy/upmarket place wherever possible with interesting amenities for single parent families. In central London the outlook is amazing and there is always something going on even if you are single. If you live in the suburbs the commute is impossible that is why I left. I lived in London many many years and I miss the action and social/cultural options but cannot afford to live there again sigh. Also it is crucial to get the schooling right try and do it in such a way that cultural/social options are available as much to you as your daughter - not meant to be a selfish piece of advice but it will quell any loneliness in being single at the weekends/half-terms/school holidays if you take time off etc. Muswell Hill is particularly nice as it has a very very young feel and and an educated and open minded feel too! You may need to compromise on the size of the accommodation in order to get the location right e.g. get a very small 2 bed but in a really buzzy but child friendly area. If you can socialise and go out where you live right on the doorstep that will stop any commuting costs. Good luck!

[JPizel]

This thread is exactly the dilemma I'm going through now. I'm a single Dad of two, boy aged 9 and girl aged 6 and we're from Northern Ireland. I have been offered a job in London, based in Croydon and am panicking I'm not going to be able to cope. Glad to see sone positive thoughts though. If I don't take the job I would have nothing but regrets for the rest of my life and I suppose if it doesn't work I always have to option to return home.

[Bek5]

I'm a single mum, I work in Vauxhall but live in Bromley (zone 5). I hate my commute, I'd love to live (and bring up my 2yr old son) in a more central location, but I don't earn enough at the moment. I used to live in Bow in the east end, I personally think that given the olympic regeneration in that area, and generally the massive amount of opportunities for children in the area, due to the creative community, it would be an amazing place to grow up as a child. I also used to live in Tooting (one of the hubs of gun crime) I never felt unsafe, I'm not in a gang, don't intend to let my son be (would move is he joined - but I don't intend to bring him up to be like that!!).

I've never been a victim of crime in London, I did have my car smashed up once, broken into once and I had my bag stolen while living in Sussex though! Statistics don't always give an accurate indication of reality!

[SpareOhs]

I would say go for it. Plenty of families manage perfectly well in London on far less than money than you're anticipating - you just have to be savvy and take advantage of the many opportunities to do stuff for free! London is an amazing city and I completely disagree that it's a bad or dangerous place to bring up kids. If you're used to Glasgow then you'll have plenty of experience of staying safe in a big city anyway! Unfortunately, these days you can get mugged pretty much anywhere...

I'd definitely agree with those who say avoid the suburbs. Hertfordshire? - boring! I moved from zone 2 (Victoria Park, very family-friendly) to zone 6 when ds was born because I mistakenly thought it would be 'better' to bring him up out of the city (and I also had lots more family support, tbh, which was a big pull). I like where I live now well enough but it's not a patch on east London! I miss the vibrancy, the buzz, the opportunities, the diversity. I miss the gorgeous parks and the great restaurants, the musuems and the kids' activities. Everything's on your doorstep in London - out in the 'burbs I need to travel for an hour to do anything fun (and my local high street is a lot more stabby on a Sat night than Hackney ever was!)

All I would say is be aware of issues around secondary schooling - it is a bunfight in many parts of London...choose your area carefully.

I envy you the opportunity so grab it with both hands, I say! I'd love to move back but sadly atm it's just not an option. Best of luck

[sincitylover]

Another single parent here living in Zone 2 - within four miles of central London.

The area I live in is far more pleasant than where I grew up (a provincial town) and imo provides a much more sparky and buzzy environment for my dCs (as well as me!). If I were to move out then any decrease in rent would be offset by higher travel costs.

It is expensive and I do struggle but the benefits outweight the costs. If people thought that London was no place to bring up children then there would be no schools here would there and also London can't be dismissed as one homogenous place - it is so big and so diverse you can't generalise about it.

It sounds as though you want to go for it OP.

[nulgirl]

Dont have much to add regarding london but am reading this amused about the warnings of high crime in London. The op is currently living in Glasgow which as far as I'm aware has a higher rate of crime per head of population than London. She is not in some sleepy village in the countryside.

[threefeethighandrising]

You don't need to be able to afford private schools to live in London.
How ridiculous!

[threefeethighandrising]

Although I must admit my bias, I'm from central London myself.
Expecting to get flamed by people from the burbs now!

[threefeethighandrising]

I agree absolutely with FootprintsOnTheMoon about avoiding the suburbs.

London proper would be much better as a single mum IMO. The facilities for children in many areas are outstanding, and it'll be much easier to meet people and get involved with stuff.

[Bumpsadaisie]

London is great if you have plenty of money, can live in a good reasonably central area, can pay for private education if the local state schools aren't good etc.

Many of my friends are in this position but in order to earn said plenty of money they live very hectic busy lives working all hours and then trying to raise their kids too.

I've one friend whose family is wealthy and who is able both to afford a lovely house in Belzise Park, to pay for her children to be privately educated, and to do a nice interesting part time job as a curator for one of the big art galleries.

Now that's what you need to live in London happily, I think! Sadly out of reach for most of us.

We moved from London to Cumbria a couple of years ago. Don't miss it a bit!

[FootprintsOnTheMoon]

Oh, and I wouldn't wouldn't live in the suburbs as a single mum new to the area.

You'll feel isolated, lonely and vulnerable because it'll be hard to be around enough to make friends in your new area, and you will not have an existing support network.

I can literally make it to a play in my dcs school and back to work in a long lunch break. I can drop the off at school and still be at work before 10 if I'm so minded.

In the suburbs you get a lot of the worst of London (expense, crowding, commute) and little of the best (fantastic facilities, many of them free, buzzy exciting place to be, great professional and educational opportuties, friends are often 'passing through' London so you can set up lunch without too much effort).

[FootprintsOnTheMoon]

I have school kids in zone 2.

Love it.

Crime no worse than previous places I've lived - sheffield and Brighton . we've had no crime, but I've heard of friends being pick pocketed and friends of friends having more serious stuff.

The thing you have to appreciate is that the density of population is such that you would statistically expect more incidents even if the crime 'rate' was the same, iyswim. So one mugging in my neighbourhood would be like 1:10,000 chance it'd be me. One mugging in a village 1:200 chance. You see how that can saw you perception?

Our (state) school has lovely school trips. Top of St Pauls cathedral, Golden Hinde, city farms, billingsgate fish Market, Greenwich observatory (I'm making it very obvious where I am!). It's world class, and I feel privileged to have such resources to offer my children.

My advice is to go east or north. I like east better, but out-of-towners often fail to see behind the skin colour issue. E.g. Someone came to tea at my house and asked about how I liked living in 'Afganistan'. the truth of it is, you have to pick up on the underlying dynamics of an area. Some are a bit transient (=no one gives a feck about anything). Others - every kid you see walking down the street is followed by twitching curtains of grannies and aunties ready to give them a flea in their ear. First place I lived, that extended families of some of the Asian folk really glued the area (albeit it can feel hard to penetrate the community if yu're an incomer). Next place I lived also had a good community, and by that point I had kids, which meant I had a 'way in' to the community, and we made lots of friends. Fab transport links and cheap housing too.

North is more posh and intellectual. Traditionally Jewish, certainly more White and 'yummy mummy' ime. Not my cup of tea, but I have good friends who really love it.

I

[RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles]

I am moving back to London in October after 7½ of living in Southern Spain and can not wait to get back there. SW London where I'm heading back to is wonderful for children and families. Transport links into central london take 10 minutes (Clapham Junction/Balham/Wandsworth Common into Victoria or Waterloo. Even the tube from those areas rarely takes more than 30 minutes to, say, Oxford Circus.

One can very easily rent a two bedroomed garden flat in Tooting Bec/Balham for around £1,500, but often they can be found for less. Excellent schools, spoilt with Commons and Parks. Gatwick half an hour away on the train. In all the years I lived in London before moving to Spain (18, plus my father lived there from when I was 6 on and off) I have never been the victim of crime.

I love London, my children love London and we are all beyond excited to be going back there for good. As Snapespeare says (and I'm sure others), London is as expensive as you let it be. There is SO much to be done with children, from 0-18, that costs very little, or nothing at times, that one's weekends can be as quiet or as busy as one wishes.

[Snapespeare]

I earn £30k, get tax credit & chb on top of that & get a rent allowance from work, as I still have property in Glasgow that I'm trying to sell, but isn't shifting.. so total income is around £43k ish. I have three children & rent a 3 bed property. It is do-able if you take advantage of the loads of free stuff going on in London & shop wisely. It is expensive only if you choose to do expensive things!
Not to fuel the argument, but I came back to London after having children in Glasgow. I love living here, it's vibrant, multi-cultural, people are friendly, I think if you give them a chance, but that could be said for many cities.

[suzydelarosa]

hey three feet - affordable areas much appreciated; my experience is primarily of zone 1. Since I work in the arts it's a cap of about £50k. I think if I were to jump ship to more traditional marketing, more than that... sigh!

[threefeethighandrising]

What do you think you would earn reasonably?
Perhaps we could suggest some nice but more affordable areas?

[suzydelarosa]

Sorry I meant 50k + 40% = 70K