German Corner

[finknottle]

Deutsch or English
Native speakers, expats, anyone
From Brezeln to Bier

Please don't ask if you join in, everyone is welcome

For discussion of schools see separate thread

[admylin]

No it's with Abbott pharmaceutical company - but I know Mannheim well and Heidelberg is nice, so live in hope (again) that he has luck.

[SSSandy2]

Ludwigshafen conjures up no image at all in my mind tbh. I couldn't even say where it is. Found Mannheim a dreary looking place, wouldn't fancy living in Mannheim itself but the people were quite friendly and helpful there. Whispers: MUCH nicer than here. They all said you could live nicely around Heidelberg as Finks says in the small villages and commute but I didn't see the area, was just in Mannheim itself for the day.

[admylin]

SSSandy, the only thing I know about Ludwigshafen is that it's where tahthorrible fire was where a lot of Turkish families lived and we all saw them throwing their baby out of the 3rd floor window to save it from the flames on the news
I've been to Heidelberg - it's nice and Mannheim is probably good for shopping. The best part is it's near Frankfurt airport so not far to go to escape!

[SSSandy2]

oh good grief yes that picture of that terrified looking baby falling and the family leaning out the window of the burning house looking down at him. Was the baby alright? Didn't realise that was Ludwigshafen. Did they ever find out what caused the fire? I saw the Turkish prime minister and his wife on the news standing outside the house and there was a lot of talk about it being Neonazis but I don't think the police ever found out what happened, did they?

[admylin]

No I don't think they found out - last I heard was that it had started in the cellar. The baby was OK - a fireman caught him but I don't know if the family got out.

I was watching TV with dh last night (something I rarely do because he watches all sorts of rubbish) and he put a documentary on about a woman who went out to stay with her new boyfriend for a week and her 2 very small sons were left in the flat and they died of thirst. It all happened in Frankfurt/Oder east Germany in a huge Plattenbau siedlung so the neighbours were also accused of not going to help the children. Made me feel ill watching it and I will not be watching TV with dh again. Rather re-read my old books.

[finknottle]

Morning Sandy - how are you?

Don't be put off Mannheim or Lu - they're actually side by side and there are some lovely Altbau bits of Ma. Also as I say, you're only a hop, skip & a jump away from the countryside. Most people where I live work in one or other city.
Not to rub it in, but it's a warmer part too. Forecast for Sunday is 18C and sunny
Mentality is very different too.
Am having coffee then getting the house done in speedy time (just seen I can write my name in dust on the piano) because I want to spend the whole weekend in the garden planting my new trees and fruit bushes.
What're you up to?

[finknottle]

and admylin
Am in a sunny weekend mood today. Can you tell

[admylin]

Hi, come over and spread your sunny mood on the school thread, a rant is on going!

[admylin]

Hi, come over and spread your sunny mood on the school thread, a rant is on going!

[SSSandy2]

Those documentaries about child abuse are horrendous, aren't they admylin? They stay with you long after you've finished seeing them. I remember watching a report about that family and the two boys who died of thirst, there was a lot of detail and I was very upset by it. Also that little girl who had been tortured to death by her parents (aged 2) and the mother who had given birth to several (don't rmeember how many) babies, killed them and had them buried in plant pots on her balcony etc etc. That's so sad too because she must have somehow wanted dc surely to keep getting pregnant? It makes you so depressed hearing this kind of stuff and it always seems the Jugendamt was alerted but didn't get involved.

I think Germany can be a harsh tough place for families with dc and they don't do enough to make it a kinder world. There are all the authorities informing you that you have to do this and you have to do that but where is the kind helpful caring aspect of it all? I can imagine so many dp especially those on low incomes in those depressing Plattenbausiedlungen are suffering from some form of clinical depression.

finks, you are our little ray of sunshine, bless you. Our weekends are always busy, regular activities tying us up. Nothing special planned though beyond the usual.

[finknottle]

tbh since we got satellite TV about 3 yrs ago I haven't watched any German TV. We have a satellite feed which goes into dh's study (English feed in sitting room) and even the dc hardly ever watch it.
I can't watch depressing things like that in any language. Think some people are intimidated by and let down by the system everywhere. I'm horrified by reports of Social Services separating mothers and babies so often recently in the UK.

Stop watching them! Read a gardening book

[admylin]

One thing I notice is that people don't say hello here. In the south in the small villages they say hello on the street but here in out building there are 10 flats and if I didn't say hello they would walk past us on the stairs. It seems so uncivilized. A German friend was saying it's the same in her building.

Back home if a new neighbour moved in we always spoke or even called round to say hello. Last summer I saw my parents had new neighbours (a retired couple from teh south) and within a couple of weeks they had them in the conservatory drinking wine and testing dads sloe gin.

[SSSandy2]

so let's see what nice things we can find out about LUDWIGSHAFEN then for admylin. First I will start by finding out where it is

Would this be a permanent job admylin

[berolina]

We werw written to after ds2's birth by some Sozialdienst or other from the Bezirksamt, congratulating us and offering to come and visit (I assume a HV-type thing). We politely declined, but I thought that was quite a positive thing. And the Bezirksamt sent a huge booklet with all sorts of Hilfsangebote in and the title 'Ihr Kind ist geboren' - you don't say, I've been wondering where my bump's gone . Maybe Berlin is ahead in terms of this sort of aufsuchende Hilfe because there are more problem cases here?

[SSSandy2]

maybe they've changed some things, bero. We didn't get that when dd was born. I know on tv they had a lot of people from the East (think it was Potsdam) after another horrible child death story talking about the old days. "Es war nicht alles schlecht"

Apparently they had health visitors who regularly went roudn to visit families with dc and that way dp could be alerted to vaccinations and the health visitors could offer advice (gee thanks but ok!) and they could pick up on problem cases. Maybe they could have something on those lines again but tbh I personally would have been more annoyed by it. How would you find it?

[admylin]

Yes Sandy it would be permenant - which means the competition will be tough.

Berolina, that sounds really positive, maybe they are not just talking about doing something after all. There were so many cases of uncared for dc being taken out of dirty flats last year, it was getting to be once a week and that Familien ministerin (Grrrrr) woman kept making statement after statement but nothing happened. This week a 2 year old fell out of a top floor window and died in Berlin too. One came to our school for a while, or rather it was a Jugendamt type woman who brought him and picked him up but he only stayed a few weeks probably while they looked for a fosterhome or a Kinderheim place.

[finknottle]

Get hellos here.
What used to make me laugh when I worked in Mannheim was that from 11 am till about 1pm you were greeted not by "Guten Tag" but by:
"Mahlzeit"
I'd sit in Reception of this company waiting for an appointment and I'd get about 25 people wandering past calling out:
Mahlzeit!
Mahlzeit!
Mahlzeit!
Mahlzeit!

[berolina]

I wouldn't want it, tbh. I always feel sad when I read on here how in thrall some mums seem to be to their HVs and frightened/upset by them. But I think if it can help some people then it's a good thing.

The GDR ones were no doubt also used as enforcers of state ideology and presented a real threat to non-conformist parents (from what I know of parents having children taken awayfor political reasons ). AFAIK vaccinations were compulsory as well, so anyone refusing must have got an enormous amount of hassle. At least we could just decline this visit (dh rang up and said 'it's our second' and the lady said 'oh, OK then' ) with no repercussions.

They've been talking about making the U-Untersuchungen compulsory (possibly connected to Kindergeld).

[berolina]

that is I wouldn't want it personally.

[berolina]

oh admylin the falling out of the window. So sad.

[admylin]

I've always been paranoid about windows to be honest, even now ds is allowed to stay alone when I go to the shops (but dd not, she has to come) and I always so Don't answer the door if it rings, don't touch anything electrical and don't go near the windows, he says mum you're pathetic! (That's what you get from 9 year olds so enjoy your sweet little babe and tot as long as they are sweet!)

[berolina]

every now and then I say to ds1 (2.9), half tongue-in-cheek, 'I'm the parent, you're the child' when I'm insisting he does something, and he's started to say it to me now too, turned round (mostly in the botanic garden when I want to go a different way from him) - 'I'm the parent, you're the child, that's the right way round' so I feel I will be very steeled for being called pathetic...

[finknottle]

Tell him there are a lot of pathetic mums around!
I tell them it's not fair on me (pile on guilt) if I have to worry they'll blow up the house/burn themselves/break an ankle by microwaving popcorn while I'm out.
Then I say, I have to do or say xyz, it's my job

[admylin]

Cuddle them as much as you can too, I'm not allowed to even give a peck on the cheek in public to ds anymore and I have to beg for him to come and give me a hug, he's trying to be cool I suppose. I loved it when they were smaller and cuddled loads, thank goodness dd is a very cudly person so she still comes for her hugs of her own free will.